Tuesday, March 31, 2009
If it could wash away my fear and sorrow...
But it just doesn't seem to work that way.
- Do you know how badly I want to tell you that, I miss you terribly..?
Monday, March 30, 2009
...or has the flame already been long gone?
I'm barely hanging on.
And there she goes again, in her feeble attempt.
And she'll never get what she wants.
And she'll never wake up.
And she'd do anything to help you.
And she'd give you her everything.
Yet everything she had to give was nothing you wanted.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I promise you I'll try my best.
A few of the many pictures we took that night. Basically it was just me camwhoring around with friends using my cam ;-)
Group pic with Ms. Kath in the middle ;-)
(yea, it was his brains I wanted for my assignment)
Ching (Harry Potter)
I am NOT an alcoholic, mind you :D
Kellie, our girl next door
My very, very long lost friend, Nazrul.
I'm sure you guys who were in Cempaka since primary remembers him.
After party @ Barsonic, Zouk.
It was quite an enjoyable night, besides the fact that the food sucked. They were mostly spicy stuff, which I can't eat. And also minus the horrendous jam on the way there. Stuck in the jam for almost 3 hours. The journey there was bad. I almost ended up not going, after all my hair and make-up was done. Really wonder how some people can just do things like this. Besides that, it could have been a really good night :)
There's far too many pictures for me to upload them here one by one. It's too tedious. If you wanna see, you can see them all through those links below :)
It's kinda funny how far we were despite being just one street away from each other the entire night. How I wished... how I wished...
...that my silent wish could come true.
I really wished you were there.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Happy Birthday to my dear Couz.
Enjoy your 19th babe.
It's your last teen year ;-)
May all your dreams come true.
We would be at the same area I suppose,
And yet so far.
It's been exactly 3 months since.
And I still remember, that it was 6.30 pm.
I should be over you, I should know better
but it's just not the case.
The day will come,
when I no longer think about you.
when I keep you deep within, in the place where it matters the most.
Let's hope, it'll be fine cuz I'm sure - the stars will shine tonight.
I miss you boy.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Busy, busy day.
HELP > Curve > SS2 > HELP > Mid Valley > Curve
and finally home.
Oh ya, remember my dress? It's for Law Ball :)
Our theme was set to be Secret Garden. Unfortunately, there had to be some meeting there near PWTC tomorrow and thus, the roads around KL would be crazily jammed. Our Law Ball's at Shangri-La by the way.
And I just remembered, it's near somewhere if I'm not mistaken.
Tsk, I'm hungry.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Had you ever tried typing a whole load of stuff and not understanding a single shit you've been typing? Had you ever tried typing this whole load of shit and end up ctrl+a backspace all of them?
Had you ever?
Cuz I did. I just did. I'm too frustrated with my assignment. Had been facing it since I got home, and now - I've decided to save my work, and close my Microsoft Word, for the time being.
How I wish, I had constitutional brains like Aristotle, Montesquieu or A.V. Dicey. Then maybe I'll know everything about Consti. Haha don't ask me wtf are constitutional brains cuz I do not know. It's just some random stuff coming out from my Constitutional Law stuffed brain. Nah, it's not really stuffed cuz I still know nuts, but - it just feels that way okay. So let it be.
Okay, I changed my mind. These people are long dead. Just give me Mr. Lua's brains. That'd be enough for me to do my assignment. I promise I'll return it :(
Gosh, I think I better stop before I start freaking myself out.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Do you ever think about me,
In the middle of the night when your awake?
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever really miss?
I can't believe I'm acting like this, I was crazy.
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case.
Do you ever ask about me?
Everytime the phone rings, do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same? Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you...
Is everything ok?
Right now I know you can tell I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry.
Monday, March 23, 2009
As in, literally sick. Woke up with sore throat one day and here I am, sneezing my nose off. And my nose is running so badly that it burned millions of calories. Haha wtf. It's so lame that I feel that it's damn dumb. How I wished I burned those calories instead though. I'm fat fat FAT.
Will 4 days be enough for me to lose those ugly fats? I definitely hope it would.
I've been so busy recently and my assignents, they're suffocating me soon. Have been asking 3 people on their assigments.
1) One has a sexy assignment apparently.
2 One has tons of notes when I met her at the library.
3) One has started and is wondering how to do footnotes.
And I'm still stuck here whining bout it and doing nothing!
Sigh. Life will be sad till my Consti assignment is over. I've tried typing out my introduction, which I did. And the next thing I know, I've been staring at the blankscreen hoping that words will appear on its own wtf.
Oh, and did I tell you that I'm close to being broke now? I wonder if this happens to you people. Like, when you're looking for something, you just can't seem to find it. And when you've finally found it, you see it everywhere. Irritatingly everywhere.
I've finally found my dress today. Okay, actually it was the first dress I found.But I stubbornly insisted on looking around for more, but to no avail. Well, I found one. It was probably one of the best dress I've ever seen. But it would've cost me a fortune if I were to buy it, and not to mention, being slaughtered and skinned alive by my dear parents.
Thus, I shall settle with this first dress I found. What for, I shall disclose it later in the week ;-)
Back to reality, Imma mourn over it now - for my assignment and sudden great loss of cash.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Had been thinking, thinking really hard - especially tonight. All I could do was to let my mind linger around with issues I can never push away.
Really kept me thinking continuously, I've tried to think so hard that my head hurts. The feeling sucks, when you're thinking of something but you don't know what you're thinking about - or rather, you just can't clear your mind off things.
Tell me, what can be better than a sore throat with headache?
I'm so tired, yet I can't sleep.
I hate the fact that it ain't stopping, it remains constant. Everything reminds me. It's like a habit.
"There's something, but there just can't be. It has to be made into nothing," she said. A close friend of mine told me this. Kept me wondering, and wondering, till I reached a point when I start to wonder what I've been wondering.
I'm still stuck here, in this state of utter confusion. Frankly, I won't be able to answer you even if you ask what am I confused about. Cuz I'll get confused when I try explaining myself. I now have this very strong urge to ctrl+a and backspace everything that I have typed, cuz I don't see a point.
I've said all I could and do not wish to repeat it tonight. There's nothing else left for me to say, cuz I know that you'd know that I do - I always do.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Ahaha, one of the lame jokes we made in the jam yesterday. We even resorted to watching birds fly when the car couldn't move.
Pictures from yesterday @ The Club, Bukit Utama.
Told you I would look formal :)
During the competition and mock trial :)
Qi and I
That basically was my day today. I have a very bad sore throat. Very painful. Woke up in the middle of the night due to the pain. Damnit, I hate having sore throat. I hate it more when it gets so
omfg dry and thus causing it to hurt so badly when you're halfway sleeping.
I wanna go out, but the guilt of assignment is pulling me back. Cuz apparently, if I don't go out - at least I'll feel less guilty.
Well, note the word apparently.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Really busy day today, or rather - tiring. Had been occupied since early morning. Headed off to Chingy's right after class today to meet up with Linda and Xin. Off to Desa Sri Hartamas for Lunch and headed of to The Club @ Bukit Utama.
Pictures tomorrow :)
Gotta wake up early tomorrow for the Law Olympiad (whatever it is, I'll find out tomorrow). Volunteered as "marshalls" with Qi and the rest. Marshalls sound cool, but in fact they aren't. (Will blog bout it tomorrow after I find out what we're actually suppose to do). Trust me, Imma look so formal tomorrow. I mean, what do you expect when the dress code is all black with no shorts or skirts or basic t-shirt? :(
Okay, time to sleep - or at least try. Goodnight.
Sometimes, I really wonder why I used Rain as my metaphor despite how much I dislike the rain. So much for Summer rain huh.
- So what if it was a busy busy day, it never stopped Raining... in my head at least.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
by Keith Urban.
This song, is hardcore emo.
Why is it that I still let it be your way about ending things?
So much I have to say, yet I can't find my words.
Or rather, I'll never have the courage to say.
I'm sorry those words have to be in Chinese :(
Too many things I have to tell you, yet I could never.
Too many... too many indeed.
If I did, would you listen... like how you used to last time?
I'll learn to let go of you, cuz I love you too much.
This time, it's true.
I'm sorry this post is so messed up. Things are here and there. Ugh. It's so messy! Sorry, I'm a bit messed up tonight. Emo bitch alert.
I couldn't shut the door,
The Rain just poured continuously
And I was too weak to hold it tight.
I reached out my hand in a frail attempt to grasp the Rain,
Just to let it slip through my fingers.
That's when I realise,
It'll never stay for me.
Finally, I'm done with my presentation for my Jap classes. F.i.n.a.l.l.y. We were all given this end-of-semester assignment (individual assignment, mind you) to work on for weeks. Each of us had to settle on one of topics given, interview someone and present it during classes. It was a tedious job.
Firstly, we had to plan our questions - which means inventing our own questions from square one. I remember I was so pissed with myself that I couldn't come up with any questions which I could present well, I then switched my topic. Then, we had to draft everything.
Next, we had to find a Japanese, or Japanese speaking person to propose our questions to - which I did. Then, we had to compile everything and draft another copy for it. This was the hard one. I've been typing and correcting it so many times that I've lost count. And now, finally it's done. Thank god it ended up well.
Guess what? We're having our end-of-term exam tomorrow. How great.
Oh, and there's just a week left till my Consti assignment is dued, and I've typed nuts. I wanna swear. I feel so guilty everyday that I've been procrastinating on this issue. And I've been whining about Consti since forever. You can't blame me when it's all about Parliament Sovereignity and Rule of Law, can you? *shifty eyes*
Okay, Imma do my Criminal notes and start studying for tomorrow... and hopefully, read up a bit on my Consti
but I have this feeling I'll end up refreshing my Facebook every 5 minutes. I swear I'm so screwed, big time. I need motivation.
And did I mention that I've gained so much weight that I feel wtf-ly fat? Must be the cheeeeeese....Mmmmm.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
does he need to?
he noes u miss him.
@ March 16th, MSN.
Tonight, I'm so confused.
Tonight, I realised that there could never be another like you.
Tonght, I need you.
Kept me thinking,
Since you've left, what have I done?
Shame on me.
なんとなく、I'm really sorry.
I drifted away,
I'm sorry I didn't stay where I was.
Fell down, again.
Just to realise that,
There could never be another like you.
Nobody else could make me feel the same way you did.
If you see this,
If you see this,
Please, get some sleep :(
So many stories I have to share with you, too many.
How I wish you were here to listen.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Visited a place I've never went since.
The same seat, the same place.
Yet today, a plump middle aged lady sat there.
We were once there, happily.
You said I pick on my food.
You kept me warm with your warm glass.
You irritated me so much then, but it was funny.
You took my Mickey and never gave it back.
You were once there.
I don't know why, I miss you tonight.
Shadows of you were everywhere today.
I thought I was fine,
Just to realise how feeble I was.
How have you been?
Please do take care, and smile - I know you always will.
If I were to race you to happiness,
I'd stop and let you win - cuz I'd always want you to be happy.
I could give you my everything.
And, forgive me for being so weak.
I couldn't keep my promise,
A promise you've most probably forgotten about.
I am not strong, I never was.
Just give me a moment and I'll be fine.
Sometimes, I just feel too confused when
Blue and grey will never mix well with pink.
I can't deal with colours. Very ironic song,
Starry starry night, Paint your pallete blue and grey.
- Vincent by Don Mclean.
Time to wash my palette, pink will do.
Attended my uncle's wedding dinner last night in town. Took hell lot of pictures, and as always - Facebook it is :)
By the way, I really dislike the new Facebook. It's irritating me. Oh well.
I managed to read my Consti today! Yes, I'm still whining about it. Met Couz today and it started off as an initial plan to study Consti, which eventually turned out to be a singing plan.
I gave into temptation. As a result, I fell off today hahaha oops.
NO, her hair didn't grow miraculously :P
My other Couz :)
Oh yeah, this was what we (Couz and I) did yesterday at MV while waiting for my Mom to pay. We got so bored we started reading the "comments" and "suggesstions" by random people for Jusco. We had itchy hands, so we did it too - in horrible English.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Or would it just be me falling alone?
down down down
Came across this quote in a book, somehow it felt melancholic - and I like melancholic quotes a lot :D
If only dawn didn't have to come
We could stay like this, together forever.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
This sucks. I hate this feeling. I know that I'm suppose to be reading my Consti. I told myself I would on the way home today. I kept reminding myself constantly that the dead line is nearing. I failed. Sometimes, I really feel like giving up. Sigh.
My blog has been deprived of pictures recently. It's been so long since I've camwhored and took pictures of myself.
Wtf I sound like some vain bitch. God knows why. Is it cuz of the increase in age? :O
I feel like I just wanna hug someone, anyone close to me - or rather, be hugged. I miss the feeling of being hugged. Those sincere, tight hugs that only a few could give. I'd wanna bury myself in the embrace, and slip away, just for a short moment. It'll be more than enough. This reminds me, I don't know why but this thought kept lingering on my mind today, it's almost a month since.
I've made up my mind. It's time to keep everything deep inside, in a place where nobody else could find. I'll never mark another 11.
I wonder if it's the same... that bits of me would still linger, somewhere.
It's over. I'm happy how I am now. Maybe not completely but yea, I'm fine the way I am. Still searching for the missing pieces, it doesn't matter if I can't. I've been through the worst stage, twice - and all that's left is to move on now. Perhaps letting go is hard, but at least, moving on wouldn't be. It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better, that's how the saying goes. It'll still hurt as it goes, but yea I'll be strong.
Cuz the day will come when the heart is ignorant to the pain and none can break through, you or you or the many yous out there. I don't wanna go through the entire process again, hell no.
Sometimes, I'm too afraid.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
So for her sake, I'll try to blog in a non-abstract way k? I love you dear. Wtf this sounds lesbianish.
Due date for assignments are coming nearer to me. Wait, I'm going nearer? Or are they coming nearer? Ok whatever, it's coming. And I have no way to decipher the long long passages.
Happy Birthday, Weng.
Enjoy your 19th and
May you be happy always :)
Have been listening to a very old song. Sad, sad song indeed.
I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's crying while she's saying this:
Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is,
25 minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy,
I'm sorry you are 25 minutes too late.
No one would ever make me feel the same way like you did, cuz I'll never open my heart to another like how I did to you.
No, the song is completely irrelevant to my relationship state. Quote ChingMun in her recent post,
"One cannot escape arguments- commitment issues/ infidelity issues/ ego issues/ clubbing issues/ insecurity issues/ etc (what nonsense also wanna fight about la) when in a relationship. Its pretty normal. And I'm extremely glad that I'm not in one now. Now now, I'm not planning to be a nun or spinster when I grow up of course. Just waiting for the right guy and the right time. Ambitious, loyal, sweet and fun. Mmmmm. No rush babyy.. Love comes unexpectedly. And right now, my studies itself is enough to suffocate me so cheers to fucked up relationships."
Nuff said. Nothing can describe my feelings better - just waiting for the right guy. There's no rush, we'll be fine. (Yes, Rule of Law and Parliament Sovereignity is more than enough to suffocate me now).
I'll hold onto my key tightly and
I'll never leave the door open anymore.
In case the Rain comes flooding in or when
Cookie monster comes in
Stealing cookies from my cookie jar.
I'm, complicated and confused as always :)
Monday, March 09, 2009
Everyday, I see her
Running, trying to catch a faint figure.
A figure who once stopped by, capturing her heart.
A figure she can never reach for,
As the figure was also catching another he could never leave.
But it wasn't her, she knew it wasn't her.
Then I see her,
Caught in a web, struggling.
Pitifully, I held my hand out to her.
She said she'd rather stay in this web, waiting for him to come by.
Hoping that he might turn back and
Hopefully, see her.
Foolish girl, oh what a foolish girl.
She's falling from grace, she's losing her faith.
All I could do was watch her try desperately to progress.
Faking a smile, working hard as she
Masked her emotions beneath the faint smile,
Shadowing the wounds she had inside.
I love you and that's all I really know,
Was all she wanted to tell, and hear.
I tried my best to help her, to save her from her pathetic state.
It was sad to see her this way as she's lost her smile.
I've seen her pictures, where she once smiled from the bottom of her heart.
It was so different, almost queer.
That was when, she had him by her side.
The figure which once stopped by for her.
Scarred she was,
Lost, in the
Had quite a different trip with the Cousin yesterday. Spontaneous as we were, we decided to take the public transport.
Taman Desa --> KL Sentral (Bus)
KL Sentral --> KLCC (Train)
KLCC --> Sentral (Train)
Sentral --> Mid Valley (KTM)
I'm so proud of myself (wtf).
It was then that I realised how troublesome it was to actually take the bus from Mid Valley to Taman Desa (and vice versa) when the bus passed by Mid Valley before stopping at Sentral. I didn't know you had to go through so much trouble, yet you still came to meet me so often - but it's a bit too late for me to know anymore, no?
bus bus bus!I'm so happy with what I found in KLCC :3
No, I didn't buy heels this time. I bought all the Kuroshitsuji books they had in Kinokuniya :D
I could have bought a pair of Guess heels with the same amount I spent on the books though :(
I was bored and had nothing to do one day. It was then when I remembered I've seen the review on this anime/manga. So I bought the first book and tried watching the first few episodes. So now here I am :x
Watch/Read it, it's really goooood.
Psst. Jon, I can stream my episodes di loserrrr.
Anyway, back to my story.
Lunch at Sakae Sushi. And off we traveled to Mid Valley by KTM. God, how slow can the KTM be. Secret Recipe it was for dinner.
On another note, I received the Love Ya award from Sharon, the rose master hahaha wtf.
Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who can choose eight more and include this text into the body of their award.
Jottings Of My Life
❤ Cookie Diaries ❤
Tales Of The Bamboo Groove
It takes two to tango.
My life, My Reasons.
it's K to the S to the S
Thanks Sharon :)
*back to reading*
Damnnn, I'm really supposed to be reading on my Consti instead of my books. But I've been procrastinating so much that it isn't me. Let's just say, I really dread Consti. It's Greek to me, I don't know why.
It's so dryyyyy. I think I need self hypnosis.
Consti rocks. Consti rocks. Consti rocks.
Damn, I can't do this.