Break the curse.

No, it ain't happening anymore. Really.
I'm so sick of this, so damn sick of this.

It's always never good enough.

Not for the third time already.

And I definitely don't want history to repeat itself again.
When I once loved so much.

I don't know, but don't blame me if one day you turn around,
And I'm not there anymore.

It's a state of bliss to think you're dreaming.

Could you tell me,

If I set foot into that deep abyss,

Would I fall hard and go back to what I have become,

Or would I find light in the darkness encapsulating me?

Could you give me an answer to that?

Sometimes, I feel like letting myself go, and just fall - a free fall.

But it hurts too much and I'm too afraid already.

*

Once again, I shall rid myself of this feeling. Cuz it won't work out.

I just know it won't.

I know this, I know this alphabet.
A little bit too well actually.
So before the borderlines are crossed
And before too little becomes too much
Let's just say goodbye.

Cuz I won't let it happen to me for the third time anymore.

Your hands are mine to hold.

Went for All American Rejects' concert at Bukit Jalil last night. A very spontaneous one actually. Didn't intend to go initially, but ended up going with the Cousin. Honestly, the only song which I can sing entirely was just Move Along hahaha! Thus explaining the desperate efforts that Adelin and I made to sing to the songs, which we knew nothing but the Chorus parts. Oh well, effort is good :3

Couldn't see much (due to the crazy crowd). So much for being short. Meh. And that top was the closest thing to Halloween that I have. Double meh. Oh well.

Also met Jia Xin there with her sweetheart. But I doubt she'd let me post that pic up so yea. I'll just mention her HAHAHA. It's been quite a while since we've met, despite the fact that we're in the same uni. I think the last time we met was during the picnic trip we had before Chingy left.

With the Cousin.



The Cousin and her friends - Bryce and Nick :-)



Adelin, Jo-Shua and Jamie.

It was supposedly a couple shot when Adelin insisted she wanted to be in the picture. Funny girl haha.



Dave and I were bored while waiting. Heh.

No, we weren't kicking any stranger x)



Adelin, my also-as-short partner :P



Cheater. Carried by Jin.



The Cousin again :3



The group of us!

(From left):

Amanda, Jamie, Jo-Shua, Dave and J.

T'was an enjoyable night when my legs felt so tired even though I was wearing flats heh. It was a good experience when the group of us uni mates come out for a concert and enjoy ourselves. We should do this more often, if we could :-)

And even when your hope is gone,
Move along, move along

Just to make it through.

Boo.

Happy Halloween folks

Now put on the costume and party your night away. That's a reason good enough ;-)

*

一人になって、時止まって、立ち止って、何も見えなくて、笑えなくて
前を向かなきゃってわかっているんだよ。

ずっとこのままって信じていたんだよ。

*

好きになり過ぎて、ごめん。

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好.

You belong with me.

It was Orientation for us Year 2 again, you know the conventional ice breaking, getting to know you kinda thing. We got our Year 1 lecturers to join us in some of the games too. Sigh, I miss Year 1 so much :((

We were all randomly divided into groups and had to play some games (apparently, it's so that we know each other better). And of course, we won (duh). We did have some great laughs while the kiasu bit of us were trying to win each game. Like how we all had to make costumes and do some make up for one of our group members and they eventually had to model it. And like how we had to do the stupid dance for the lala song by Leon Lai.

Dave! The one who had to put up with all my nonsense in class everyday heheh x)



Some of the girls ;-)



Kellie! She was so bothered with buying her butter the entire morning, just so that she could make sandwiches for the event wtf.



Some of us doing random stuffs with the shelf. Poor Hiu Kei, she was lifted off her feet.



Some game where we had to each pass as many rubber bands as possible with a stick using our mouths. No hands involved of course.

Everyone looked so funny cuz they looked as if they were gonna make out with one another haha wtf.

With Adelin and Hiu Kei



Group 10 ftw!!!



(Left to right):

Qing Wei (Harry Potter), Dickson (Loser), Hiu Kei (best partner ever), Adelin (lazy bum who disappears after break) and Kean Fatt (Marilyn Monroe cum Amy Winehouse)



Kellie in the progress of making our very own Amy Winehouse.

(It was suppose to be Marilyn Monroe, and apparently he has huge boobs wtf).



Group shot, with all of us group members! :D

Had some finger food, and loads of fun I would say. At least it didn't bore me :-)

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you.

Keep bleeding,

Keep keep bleeding, love.

Sometimes, I'd miss you.
During those lonely hours at night.
Or when the wind blows during the day.
Or when the songs play in my song list.
And sometimes, I really wished I won't.
I'm too fed up to be bothered with it anymore.

Cuz it's too hard to fight what the heart has been feeling.

But you know what?
I'm done with you.

But I can't help but to let thoughts of you linger endlessly. Perhaps it's already became a habit I'm addicted to.

You didn't really care, didn't you?

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline?

- that's where I'm gonna wait for you.

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you during those terrible nights.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you a hug to make you feel better.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to share the fun you wanted to share with me so badly.
I'm sorry I didn't manage to share the jokes you always made.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to keep you company when you felt so alone.

But you know what?

I'd do all it's worth to fly to you right now,

Just so that I could be the first person you'd see tomorrow when you wake up.

So many things I have to say to you, so much time lost that we have yet to catch up with. I miss doing all the stupid things with you everyday.

There isn't a day which went by without me not having you in my mind :-)

There, I've said it. Don't be jealous anymore. It's not always just him. Speaking bout guys, I'm still ignoring you by the way. Please, be wiser.

Sorry, I just had to post this (Gossip Girl picture). Found this when I was browsing around for pictures. Can I be Blair please? Pretty please? Then I'll be a trust fund baby with different designer headbands to wear everyday, and of course, I'll have Chuck. (You can be the Serena who guys all love, and you can have Dan all to yourself - I don't mind at all.) Teehee.

Okay, enough of crap. I miss you alright. I can't bloody wait till June anymore.

Please smuggle yourself into someone's luggage this December and come back home :(

This love is difficult, but it's real.

I know this is starting to get ridiculous already, and it sometimes creates confusion to people.

As stupid as it might sound, people kinda have the impression that I'm lesbian. It all started with me having tons of pictures with Flo when she was still here in Malaysia. We went everywhere together and did almost everything together. So yeah, I guess that was how it started.

Then it became worse when this happened.

See the relationship status? Yes, we thought it was fun at first.

Then friends started messaging me online asking what happened to me and all kinds of stuffs. It even went to a point when someone told me, "One sour grape doesn't mean that all grapes are sour. You don't have to resort to apples." Wtf. Very nice metaphor indeed.

And sometimes, I get messages like this on Facebook.

-________-

JY constantly alleges that I'm gay anyway, so I think I kinda proved his point when I changed the status wtf.

Then came this loser's comment.

Heh heh heh.

Actually, this isn't exactly untrue. Our personal conversations online would mostly sound like this (since we're miles apart now). My mom saw this, shook her head and walked off saying, "This gives me goosebumps."

<3

Then, things turned hilarious when this happened.

Perfect example why you really shouldn't have your parents/relatives/adults related to parents on Facebook. It kinda tells a lot, unless you really have nothing to hide.

Fyi, I -do- have my mom on FB :DD

Yes, her friend's mom thought we were really lovers.

So now, to clear all confusions, I hereby declare that I am perfectly straight. No, not bi - I'm straight.

And I miss my Flo :3
And it doesn't mean that I do not love her still :3

I'm sorry that the pictures had to be so small. I have completely no idea how to enlarge them and make them clear enough to be read without the need to click on the image itself. Blame my very limited knowledge with computer related stuffs, my bad.

And I know, this is a completely pointless post but yeah,

Aku suka. *smug face*

Just hold on tight.

Yes, my PD trip. It was a pretty decent trip, besides the fact that I didn't really get to take many pictures. I'm too tired (and lazy) to type so yea, I shall delegate (wtf) this to the very rare amount of pictures that I have to upload. Basically, it's mostly camwhore pics of the Cousin and I. Teehee.

Us having nothing to do in the car on the way there.



In our room :D



The sunset :-)



The Emo Lion.



Yummy chicken wingssss!



Couz dozing off in the car on the journey home.

Yes, almost everyone was sleeping in the car on the way home. I fell asleep the minute the journey back to KL started heh.

Nothing much have been happening lately, really. Except for the fact that I really feel like catching a movie one day - just that I don't know what hehe.

Sigh. I feel like this post is so much like one of those cheating posts I sometimes have. You know, one of those occasions where I feel so lazy to update, I just randomly find something and post it up to consider it an update. Oh well.

I love this headband. Heehee. Ooh, I just remembered that my Japanese classes are starting again tomorrow. Holidays ended so soon (It was just a month). I love holidays :((

I'm such a lazy bum.

Someone's gotta go.

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these:

It might have been.

- John Greenleaf

You could be a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare.

but either way, I don't wanna wake up from you.

The princess is back!

Gosh, I'm dead tired. Barely slept the night before. This is the second time in my life when I've done this (First time was somewhere this year too). As in, not sleeping the entire night... or technically, only sleeping for a maximum of three hours.

As I've mentioned earlier, I had 8am classes, which I attended of course. *muka proud* Which meant that I had to wake up at around 6.30. Yes, I slept at 6am and woke up at 9am the same day. Well, technically it was today :S

Don't ask why. I look horrid. At a ridiculous stage beyond dead where my eyes are surrounded by black... stuffs. Annoying stuffs called eye bags.

PD trip was fine... but I definitely missed my bed at home! Didn't manage to take many pictures cuz it was pretty inconvenient. You know, how honey gets to your fingers when you BBQ and all. So yeah.

On an unrelated note, I'm missing Akon's concert (which is most probably going on right now) by just that bit! A friend sent me a message online a night ago saying he has extra tix for the gig, but I only saw it when I got home today. Omfg. :((

I really like Akon's songs! I still remember the first song I heard from him was Mr Lonely. And there was this frenzy where everyone would be screaming like the chipmunk voice in the Chorus part haha. Goddamnit. By just that one miserable bit. Sigh. Till the next time he comes I guess. Sigh. Oh well, I guess all I could do now is to play his songs and (maybe) dance to the music alone in my room haha wtf loner.

Oh I'm so tired.

ne m'oubliez pas.

- s'il vous plait.

This might have been the Cousin and I almost 17 years ago.



Perhaps we'll never be too old for these.

Ooh, I'm in PD right this moment. Barbeque party (sorta) tonight! Let's hope it'll be fun :DD

This is a scheduled post. But you know what? Despite it being a scheduled post (meaning I've actually typed this a night before and scheduled for it to be posted at this time, i.e 6.30 pm) I have a feeling that I'm already very tired at PD. I woke up at 6.30 am, goddamnit. Okay, I think I should stop whining about the 8am classes.

Till I'm home :-)

P.S. Let's hope I don't get reminded of the freaky stories in PD that Daniel told me about last week during dinner.

Officially Missing You.

- you, you and you.

You know, I still think that 8am classes should be banned. Especially Company Law classes at 8am, which should be deemed impossible. Ethan, if you're reading this, please make this possible if you're ever elected okay?

Sigh. I miss Year 1 so much. Everyone seemed like a family then :((

Okay, moving on. Almost everyone knows this already. I'm addicted to Gossip Girl.

Everyone knows I'm in love with headbands that I now buy them uncontrollably (especially thsoe with ribbons/bows). I drag the Cousin to search for headbands with me every time we go out that she now has a few headbands herself too (She's not a headband kinda girl).

And everyone knows (this one I'm very sure everyone knows) that I'm very much in love with Chuck Bass. For those who don't know which one he is, he's the one standing at the rightest end. Oh gosh, how can anyone not love him? But honestly, these days, a guy like him would never be existing anymore. And even if he does, he's most probably gay.

Speaking bout Chuck, this reminds me of a conversation I had with A when I was babbling bout Chuck one day.

A: I bet if you ever meet a guy like Chuck, you wouldn't want to be dating him.

K: Why not?

A: He sleeps around with different girls every night.

K: It's okay. He's Chuck Bass.

A: -________-

Haha yea I know, wtf. Daym. Only those who watch GG would get the joke/pun :(( Oh well.

You know, if you're a guy and you think watchin GG is gay, think again. Months ago. Flo and I were just talking about GG when E said it was a nice show to watch and A laughed at E saying he was gay. Oh, look now who's the one who finished Season 2 in such a short time and drooling over Serena.

Oh, and do you know that the girl who sang Good Girls Go Bad with Cobra Starship was actually Blair (Leighton Meester)? She looked so hot in the vid. Damn, I love that song.

Boy, you're dangerous.
You're the type I'd be stupid to trust.
Just one night wouldn't be so wrong ♪♪

And sometimes, I get lost,
Floating aimlessly as days pass me by.
So please let me
Sink into my own whirlpool of emotions
and settle deep down
In those might have been's.

We were always meant to say goodbye.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone.

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry.
So I'm already gone.

Someone's gotta go.

- Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson.

This song reminds me of someone I know. Someone who comes by, stays and leaves. Someone who is always here and there, at different places in the world. Someone who once made me happiest. Someone who I could never pretend he's never came into my life.

Someone who had so much of me and I have no idea why.

Oh how I miss that day

when I laid my head on your shoulder and started crying.

The moment I woke up, I checked my phone. Hoping you'd text me.

I'm glad you did.

And that felt like ages ago. I missed that, or rather, I miss you. Once in a while, like, really seldom, I admit that I sometimes do. I'm weird.

Now I remember, how much left of me that you took away.

Too bad we wrote such an ending to such a story.

突然看回我们以前的东西, 才发现... 在他走了以后，除了你, 我的心真的再也没有那样的喜欢过一个人. 你, 就有那么特别吗?

你，是否也有像这样的想念过我？　我想你应该没有吧．．．算了，再想也没有用．

Sigh. I think I'm getting cryptic. Soon, nobody would be able to know what I'm talking about.

The kind of flawless I wish I could be.

You know, I always fumble upon nice music with great lyrics. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I really enjoy good lyrics. But I've never thought that I would one day, fumble upon a nice music with lyrics which I will never grow to like. I hate these lyrics, really. It hits you sometimes, it really does.

And then I met someone, and thought she could replace you
We got along just fine,
We wasted time because she was not you.
We had a lot of fun, though we knew we were faking
Love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies.
I know better now and
I've had a change of heart.

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you.

Please be mine.

- I'd Rather by Luther Vandross.

This feeling sucks.

低调.

我的悲伤是如此低调, 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好, 我想你一定会选择假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

.
..
...
..
.

难到是我对我自己不够好.

Songs for you, truths for me.

You'll never ever be able to see.

Cuz nobody looks into the shadow

as they gaze into the sun.

And one day, if you ever do

I hope that you'll remember it, somewhere in your heart.

I once hoped that you'd regret when you do

But I realised

It doesn't make me any happier.

Cuz I figured you wouldn't.

Cuz it ain't anything.

You know,

like how when something so dear to one

could be entirely meaningless to another.

*

短かった。恋じゃなかった。だから大した事じゃなかった。
アンタはそう言ってたね。
ね、知ってる？アタシならどうでもいい。
ずっと答えが見つけられなかったから。
何でアンタはそんなに大切な人だなんて。

Oh, it's that feeling again.

Let Go by m-flo loves yoshika

For some reasons, I really love this song so much. A Japanese song sent to me almost a year ago, and I still never get bored of it no matter how many times I put it on loop. Yes, you guessed it. Lyrics lyrics lyrics :)

Translation of the lyrics can be found here. Really, try listening to it ;-)

Whisper to me, those sweet nothings you used to speak by my ears.

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. Haven't exactly been home early enough to post something up haha. My bad.

Sorry, it was just an excuse to stuff my vain picture in here haha. I just had to stuff it somewhere in this post.

It all started with a dinner plan and eventually ended up at MOS, which was a very sudden plan. It was actually MOS' first year anniversary hmmm. Being my second time there, it was kinda alright compared to the first time I was there. Unfortunately, the shitty trance music was still on though. Sorry, I'd really prefer R&B more.

And my apologies for the shitty quality of the pictures taken. My miserable efforts to snap pictures using my 3.2 mega pixels camera phone. I left my camera at home :(

Daniel and I with our VIP passes :DD

Well, VIP or not, it didn't make any much difference though haha



Ralph! Ugh, shitty flash.



Julz and Daniel :)

Sigh. Why isn't the blogshop replying me? It's been a week since I've mailed my enquiry and they never got back to me... I really liked the white headbands they had :(((

Oh I so love headbands <3

Apparently Jon said this colour doesn't suit me :(

But to think about it again, he never says nice stuffs to me :P

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been feeling so lethargic. I sleep early, and wake up as late as possible whenever I can. I sleep the minute I get home from classes. (Okay, that's a lie. I lurk around Facebook and Twitter for a bit some time and then sleep till the night). And I still feel tired before midnight! Wtf.

Speaking of which, I really think that 8am classes should be banned. Or be made a sin, whichever is better. It's horrible to wake up when the sky is still dark and reach class with a rather dead face, sit through Company Law classes (another omfg) for two hours (yes, it's just 10am) and travel all the way back home. It's crazy. By the time I reach home, I wouldn't have even woke up on normal weekends! It's ridiculous. It takes a lot to pull myself up from bed every Friday morning. Damn I'm proud of myself.

Oh well.

And btw, Delia, why did you lock your blog! :O