Or am I just a roadblock in your way?

do you know how it feels,

to be the last in the priority and it doesn't even feel like one anymore?

do you know how it feels,

to be so sick of excuses you've given up hope?

do you know how it feels,

to be constantly waiting day and night for nothingness?

do you know how it feels,

to be so lonely even though you're with people?

do you know how it feels,

to be giving chances just to be let down again?

do you know how it feels,

to be making an effort and not knowing whether it's worth it or not?

do you know how it feels,

to be having doubts and nobody is there to even hear you out?

so,

could you teach me how to do what you have done?

or be cold like you are?

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由

那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口

那我宁愿对你从没认真过.

i'm starting to have doubts.

is this really worth the fight?

然而呼喊痛苦拉扯可是对?

Over the past weekend, I started rewatching this show all over again. If you're above 17 and watches Hong Kong dramas, you'll probably know of this show because it was quite a popular show back then in 2004.

Theme Song for TVB drama, War and Beauty.

I've watched this show 3 times already and well, it's my 4th time watching it this time. (Note that I never rewatch my shows) I remember I used to love this show so much I never missed a single episode and spent sleepless nights watching it. And if you've watched this show, I'm quite sure you'd love this theme song :)

But it had such a sad ending at episode 30 because almost everyone ends up dying! I hated Gigi Lai in this show. She was so annoying! But then again, I guess she's acted her part well enough to make people hate her and eventually winning the awards that year itself for Best Actress. Needless to say, I supported Charmaine all the way. She is so cute laaaa.

As for those who are completely clueless as to what I'm talking about, this show revolves among 4 women, who are the Emperor's concubines each scheming their way for various reasons - some to gain power and control, and some to plot revenge. At the same time being involved with scandals with 2 men in the Imperial City which led to their plot to escape the castle. In the end, all died but for two who managed to escape. Really, it's a show worth watching regardless of whether you're a couch potato or not.

So if you're one of those with nothing to do at home rotting everyday, do try to give this show a try :)

为何烧到猛火里，我都不介意伴随?

话我知

这生醒了又再醉

问苍天，有几多快活儿女?

So picking up the pieces now where to begin?

do people only learn to appreciate things once they're gone?

isn't that a little too late by then?

but then again, sometimes they might prefer it to be gone.

who knows.

perhaps, we've gone too far that we can never go back to how it was in the past anymore...

I thought it felt right but that right was wrong.

你用唇语说你要离开

心不在.

You hinted that you want to leave,

The heart is not there anymore.

转身离开，分手说不出来

海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外

我们的爱差异一直存在，回不来

等待竟累积成伤害

热情不再，

你的笑容勉强不来.

Turning my back to walk away, can't bear to say goodbye,

It was just a mistake when the seagull and fish fell in love,

There was always a gap in our love and we can't go back anymore,

The wait will only amount to more hurt.

The passion is not there anymore and

I can't force a smile on you anymore.

毁坏的沙雕如何重来？

有裂痕的爱怎么重盖？

只是一切结束太快，你说你无法释怀。

How to mend a broken statue?

How to mend a broken love?

Just that everything ended too quickly that it's hard to accept.

贝壳里隐藏什么期待?

我们也已经无心再猜.

面向海风, 咸咸的爱

尝不出还有未来.

What hope is hidden in the shell?

I don't think we're even bothered anymore.

Facing the salty sea breeze,

I couldn't feel any future anymore if this goes on.

Song: 珊瑚海 by Jay Chou ft. Lara.

*

大切されたいよ。誰でも同じでしょう？

大切のその人に大切されるって・・・

多分いない方がいいかも？

もしある日、

私があなたの世界から消えたら、

あなたはどうするでしょう？

後悔するか？恋しく感じる？

もしくは、自由に感じる？

もしある日、

私はもう続けないと言ったら、

あなたはどうするでしょう？

何でもう昔の様に戻れないの？

二人も嬉しくて、幸せだったその日々。

曖昧だなぁ・・・

今残ったのは何でしょうか・・・

私も知らなくなった・・・

Sitting in an empty room, trying to forget the past.

Down with flu, sore throat and cough - again.

So yeap, this shall be a cheating post with a vain snapshot of myself.

Times flies. In a blink of an eye, it's mid April already.

And just about time for my lovelies to be home soon. I've missed them enough.

Waiting for the end.

Waiting for the end to come,

Wishing I had strength to stand,

This is not what I had planned,

It's out of my control.

Sitting in an empty room,

Trying to forget the past,

This was never meant to last,

I wish it wasn't so.

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong,

All caught up in the eye of the storm

And trying to figure out what it's like moving on.

And I don't even know what kind of things I've said,

My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead.

So picking up the pieces, now where to begin?

- Waiting For The End by Linkin Park

You're so hypnotizing.

I know this is super mainstream but yeah, a song I have been looping for some days.

Ignore the lyrics. Ignore the mainstream factor. Ignore the video itself (pretty sick and disturbing actually... it's just weird).

But do try listening to the song :)

E.T. - Katy Perry ft. Kanye West

Kenangan Terindah.

aku yang lemah tanpamu.
aku yang rentan kerana
cinta yang telah hilang darimu yang mampu menyanjungku.

bila yang tertulis untukku adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan ku jadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
namun takkan mudah bagiku meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
yang telah terukir abadi sebagai kenangan yang terindah.

- Kenangan Terindah by Samsons.

The one Indonesian song that I will never ever get sick of listening to.

wait for me. don't go too fast.

i can't catch up.

so wait for me, will you?

See somehow I can't forget you after all that we have been through.

Lost.

I guess I should just leave it alone.

And see where it goes.

After all, it's only bothering me. Nobody else.

And not like that matters anyway.

I'll get used to it. Yeah, I will.

I just wanna sleep.

Then I won't have to face this overwhelming darkness.

The darkness of being fully awake.

我, 真的能无所谓吗?

如果有一天我突然离你而去,
你会为我伤心吗?

我想...你也应该没差吧.

亲爱的, 为什么?
也许你也不懂.
两个相爱的人等着对方先说想分开的理由.

Would it be different if I gave you time?

Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed.

This is what happens to me, like all the time!

Every. Single. Day.



So annoying T______________T

我们爱的没有错,

- 只是美丽的独秀太折磨.

Welcome to my work space :)

Yes, there's a Facebook tab constantly opened. Don't lie saying that you don't do the same. Meh.

*

Something is bugging me recently, and I can't figure out what. No, not work but something inside me feels weird. Or maybe it's just me being me. I really don't know.

I don't even know what I want out of it. It's probably just a phase.

Yeah, let's hope so...

Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.

why must times change?

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

finally.

the rain has stopped.

and the sun is shining back again.

let's hope this continues.

:)