Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick.

Sorry, the previous post was deleted. Guess it wasn't something I should be blogging about. Too bad for those who missed it :P

Well, moving on to brighter stuffs. Ooh, I felt the earthquake today! Okay, not really. But yea, I did! Was playing mahjong at the Cousin's house at Taman Desa when we felt it. The entire floor was shaking (it was a condo) and I called my parents just to tell them that I was excited hahaha wtf. Sorry la, earthquakes aren't a normal thing in Malaysia. Okay, nothing cool. Meh.

Oh oh, I also managed to catch Nick and Jonny on tv! Haha it was so funny. Nick called halfway through the show and we had some laughs about it. Sigh, it's been so long since I've caught up with him. As for Kiwiboy, he's always everywhere - literally. So yeah.

Damn. Blogger is being a bitch tonight. It doesn't allow me to upload pictures. Well, technically it does. But the picture doesn't appear even after it says "Done". It's annoying me.

Ooh, Boys like Girls and Lenka are coming to town in 2 days' time! And Pei Ling, your Hsiao Hung Jen too :P

That's about it I guess. Ah, it's so easy to make my day. Seriously.

I'll never find my way out. It's a god damned circle. There's no exit.

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy.

Till I suffocate from this.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I never said I was loyal.

Remember the post on Chace Crawford a few days ago? Chingy, I think I'll give him to you. I'm happy with Chuck now. Go, go... Take Nate as much as you want now :P

I love his quote in Season 1 of Gossip Girls when they were all confronting Serena. It's bloody classic.

Blair: What could be that bad? I've slept with Chuck in his limousine.

Chuck: Many times.

Nate: Yea, I've had sex with Serena during the wedding when Blair was my date... Once.

*everyone remained silent and looked at Chuck, expecting for something more scandalous*

Chuck: Well, I'm Chuck Bass.

Hahaha, that was so epic. Okay, you really gotta watch the series to understand it, but the brief picture is that Serena and Blair are best friends and Nate have been childhood sweethearts with Blair. As for Chuck, he was the womanizer.

Oh, did I say that his voice is so damn sexy? I love his voice. Oh oh, and his British accent! It's beyond sexy. He doesn't really have it in the series, but during those interviews behind the scenes... omfg.


Sexy smexy. Ed Westwick, Ching Mun! Take that :D

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Because it's the 27th.







Saturday, September 26, 2009

I wonder what Sleeping Beauty dreams about...

that she refuses to wake up all the while. It must have been something beautiful.

Dreams, those things which we'll hardly remember the minute we wake up. Those vivid random images which we'll never understand. And sometimes, it might come in a flow - like a storyline. And there's always those that we'll remember so clearly as if it has happened in real life.

Today, I had one of those dreams. It was such a beautiful dream. It was the best dream I've ever had. I was so happy in my dream.

It was such a beautiful dream that I woke up to find myself sobbing pathetically.
It was such a beautiful dream that I thought to myself, if I were to continue the dream - I wouldn't mind not waking up at all.
It was such a beautiful dream that I got confused the moment I woke up; I even checked my phone, foolishly hoping that it was true even though the phone had nothing to do with my dream.
It was such a beautiful dream that it was delusional because it felt so real.

But it was just a dream, which means that I had to wake up eventually. Worst still, a loud ring of a mobile phone from somewhere outside the room ruptured the storyline which seemed so fragile - and it vanished away like smoke in the air.

I thought it would be okay if I ignored it long enough. If I ignored it completely, pretending it doesn't hurt and it doesn't matter, maybe it would slowly dissolve into the pool of forgotten memories. When they eventually became blurry, I thought I was getting good at this. I thought everything would appear as if it's eventually fallen into place even if it's as out of place as it always was. I thought that was the thing which people always told me, the thing which I thought was called moving on. Oh, I'm so sick of those words. As if I've never heard enough.

It was just a trick I've managed to pull, to fool the mind. To fool everyone. To fool myself.

Let's not try anymore. Cuz it's just so dysfunctional no matter how hard I try. Things bring you so high up there, just so that you could fall harder the next moment when you least expect it. Even in your dreams. They make you feel so real; just so that you'd wake up to find that it was just a dream and nothing else, just so that you'd wake up knowing that it was just a dream - and will only be a dream.

Let's not try anymore. Cuz I find myself waking up in tears after a stupid dream I had.

So pathetic.

遗憾 ・遗失

Sometimes, it really baffles me and makes me think.

How deeply in love someone could ever be to be acting like this?

The many types of loves I've felt and seen in a short night, not involving myself of course.

And all caused a rather painful feeling in my heart - maybe cuz I helplessly let them do so.

The first one especially, the ironic love - it never fails to make me feel like shit. Ultimately shitty. The all time question: 就那么喜欢吗?No, the question was never posed to myself. Clear enough who it's directed to, no?

Those why's and if only's which I'll most probably won't bother anymore.

The second one, the perfect love - merely got me envious and happy at the same time.

回憶不再受制於我 我承認

Friday, September 25, 2009

If Only You Listened.

Sometimes, you just never understand.

What has happened to us?

Hey, look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you.
I can't pretend that I'm alright.

I'm sorry, I can't be perfect.

- Perfect by Simple Plan.

I tried.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Where is the moment we needed the most?

There's some things that doesn't need to be mentioned or said in words.

Cuz you'll always know, love.

I realise that I do not put those very very deep emotions I have in my heart into my blog posts. Yes, most of them I do. But not those that I'd like to keep them deep inside, for myself and I. Cuz it's just best to let people think of anything they'd wish to think.

And it's always those which matters the most that I keep deep inside.

Cuz they'll always know when I'm missing them so badly. Cuz they'll always know that I love them still. Cuz they'll always know that they have my heart with them. Cuz they'll always know that I can never be angry at them no matter what.

I'm sure there's always people in your lives who are so close to you that you can tell them everything (including the most ridiculous secrets ever), and there's always those that you can never erase off your mind even if you don't talk to them for ages, no?

Tonight is such a happy night.

And last but not least, (I'll do this 15 minutes ahead okay)

Happy Birthday Ching Mun!

Yes dear, you're one of the very few of course, without doubts. Enjoy your 20th okay? Don't freeze your ass off over there (you still have your long johns!). Missing you loads.

You're a grown up chipmunk now, so behave yourself. Don't go around biting or hitting people already :D

Oh, and Merry Christmas! I made this a yearly thing to wish you Merry Christmas without fail during your birthday. And I'm sure you'd know why haha!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Very Much That I Want To Ask.

I was looking at the many folders of pictures in my laptop. Some made me smile, some made me nostalgic, and some gave a sour feeling to my heart. Many many pictures, different ones with different people, each writing a different chapter in my life.

How funny it is just looking at the pictures. I have this very bad habit. I tend to think of the time when the picture was taken and whatever we (the people in the picture and I) were doing at that point of time, or whatever kind of proximity we were at.

Some people remain exactly the same. We're still standing at the same point, doing the same things, talking about the same jokes we once made. Some have became closer as we've developed a greater bond as friends. And sadly, there's always some who's drifted away. It upsets me when I see pictures of myself and the people whom I used to be so close to, and now we're just a line above strangers. Or in a state where I can't find a word to define such relationship. And inevitably there's always those very favourite pictures I used to like so much and could never bring myself to delete them, if you know what I mean.

Those smiles, they were all so genuine.

What happened to them now?

Or maybe it's just the dysfunctional illusion which pictures always tend to give. The fact that we were all happy. Oh, how upsetting would it be if it were to be true.

I'm so thankful that I still have those who could still smile the same smile and take those pictures with me, never changing a bit.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

you know you love me, xoxo.

wtf. hahaha never mind if you don't get the joke of the title.

Okay, I know the previous post was one of those cheating updates which I sometimes post. Well, this will somehow become another one I guess. *shifty eyes*

Yes, I've been staying at home and finished two series of dramas already. And now I'm resuming on my Gossip Girl, finally (which I have stopped earlier due to exams) :D

And every time this hunk appears, he never fails to mesmerize me: Chace Crawford.

Sleeves! Omfg, it's sleeves!


No wonder he looked so awfully familiar. He was the one who appeared in the video of Leona Lewis' song - I Will Be. I really should blog about something else more interesting than this. I've been cheating for two days already haha.

Okay, back to my show :D

Monday, September 21, 2009

Tell Me Something I'd Want To Hear.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Holy shit. Hahaha!

Sunday, September 20, 2009


怎样的雨, 怎样的夜, 怎样的我













Saturday, September 19, 2009


Listening to this song on a rainy day like this really makes my emotions as grey as the sky. No, pun not intended.

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
为什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替 陪我听雨滴

It's raining, what should I do?
I miss you very much.
I can't find myself a reason to call you
Why is insomnia such a familiar thing now?
The silence substituted you, accompanying me listen to the raindrops.

谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

Anticipation makes people more and more tired.
Who's like me, waiting for someone who'll never come back?
I've learnt something from loving you, the taste of loneliness
Holding the umbrella alone, wiping my tears alone,
It's so tiring.

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
雨要多大 天要多黑

What type of rain, what type of night,
And how should I be to ever make you miss me?
How heavy should the rain be and how dark should the night be
To ever get your love?

其实 没有我你分不清那些

Actually it doesn't really make a difference for you, with or without me
Don't say that you'd be upset
The one being loved will never have to apologize.

下雨天 (Rainy Day) by Lara.

Very nice melody. Try listening to it on a rainy day :-)


Today, I had dinner with my aunt and the Cousin somewhere near their house at Taman Desa. It was a pretty decent place with a variety of food to choose from. A place you'd like, I'm sure you will.

When I entered, I was telling my mom, "I must remember the way here, so that the next time I can bring - " I stopped. I realised you're not around anymore and I'm too used to you being around, calling me everyday when we'd plan on things/activities - or at the very least, have some drinks at our favourite places. There's no point for me to remember the way to guide you there anymore.

It was like a habit, a norm that we'd see each other's faces everyday and never get sick of it. We would text even each other and say it's damn weird that we didn't meet that day. I can't get used to it. I miss you very much.

Now I feel like a girl who's got her heart broken by a guy who's left her. Stupid, now you make me feel like buying a ticket to Manchester straight away and be there with you. You said you don't like it there and you miss it here. How I wish I could be with you over there till you get used to the place :(

Take care love. I'm so dreadful missing you now. Things just feel out of place and it always feels as if something is missing. I won't even mind giving you 50 missed calls just to wake you up like I always did.

It's like an affair.

Friday, September 18, 2009

When Goodbye Seems To Be The Hardest Thing To Say.

Had a mini farewell and surprise birthday for Chingy last Wednesday over at Finnegan's @ Bangsar. The birthday thing was really last minute when I texted Sharon.

"Her birthday is exactly next week. She'll be lonely in Scotland. Let's celebrate it for her too."

Hahaha! And so we did. Ended up being treated a Blowjob by the manager :D

@ Finnegan's

Melted cake.

Went in (we were sitting outside) after blowing the candles and cutting the cake for the Blowjob. She took too long (she's pretty bad at it) and hence explained the melted cake.

The Blowjob I was talking about :D

What did you think it was? You dirty minded person. There's even a video on it uploaded on Facebook :D

The girls :)

Ivy, Jin, Sharon and Chingy

Then we adjourned to Telawi Street Bistro opposite for the stupid vodka shots. It was the worst alcohol I've ever had, like seriously. Apparently, Chingy first gave us a choice: Snake, Wasabi or Chili Padi (mixed with the vodka shots) and she then withdrew the Snake choice. Bitch.

The chili padi shot was horrible. Made me tear immediately after taking it. My throat and lips were practically burning. Worst thing ever. That woman cheekily took Lychee for herself, which we later found out. She ended up downing the chili padi shot :D

The girls again :3

With Sharon baby

Ronn!! Poor boy.

"Talk too much. DRINK."

"Ask stupid question. DRINK."

"Make stupid move. Penalty. DRINK."


*inside joke*

Yes, the horrible shots.

Very, very forceful smiles hahaha.

And finally, group pic! :D

Then, Aaron and I went to send Flo off in KLIA the next night. A series of rather unfortunate events happened but yea, it ended up alright :)

In the KLIA Transit

I miss youuu!!! :(

The Lovers :)


Finally, today. The very anticipated outing with the Cousin today. We've been planning this way before her exam already and man, it had been really long since I've been this full. We first had lunch at Zanmai, Pyramid and she ordered like a monster. Apparently, she thought she had a huge appetite cuz we were both starving already.

Then later, we drove to the opposite side and settled for buffet steamboat as dinner. Woa, they really meant buffet when they said buffet. They had almost everything, from scallops to crabs to clams (cockles, mussels, all those kinda related stuffs) to ice cream!

Plus, it was pouring heavily. What's better than to have steamboat during a heavy rain? :D

The Cousin grabbing food like nobody's business.

It's almost bigger than her face wtf.


Very, very tiring but satisfying day :)

Will miss you guys much. Days will definitely be so different without you two. Do take good care of yourselves. Chingy, FFS please learn to cook your Maggi! :P

Love you guys much.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

You took my loveeee.

yea, apparently UK did.

Have a safe flight you.

Hope you have a blast at Manchester darling.

Sigh. And 24 hours later, I'll be sending another darling off :((

There goes the two loves of my life.


刚听了很久以前的歌...或许有6年了吧... 突然觉得特别好听. 也突然感触了起来. 原来在不同的时间听一样的歌, 也会有不一样的心情. 还记得那时候的我一点都不明白歌词的意思. 只懂得跟着拼音唱. 那时的我应该连汉字都不会读吧.

歌的旋律真的让人很伤心. 原来人真的需要经历某些事情才会学习成长. 嗯...这一年真的让我学习了很多东西. 有时候真的会想, 如果那时我们没有遇上, 没有相识, 碰面只会打个招呼, 就像那些在班里再也普通不过的朋友, 现在的我又会怎样? 还会在乎曾经平水相逢的吗?

6年后的现在才明白唱者的心痛, 会迟了一点吗?

Cuz I thought it'd be over if I ignored it hard enough.

我们忘了那承诺, 要一起开心
雨过天晴后 有灿烂的彩虹
看着你的背影发抖 难道是我給的太过沉重
我是真的要的不多 怎麼连牵个手都变成是奢求
For you 我还能爱多久 你说, 你说 再过5秒后
你的眼透露着和他做的梦 不管我紧紧 把幸福捧在手

- 背影 by K One.

还是那样: 就这么喜欢吗? 就这么好吗?

开心, 我最熟悉的陌生人.


, 我也不懂了. 说真的, 现在的我还不太习惯你叫我名字. 不懂你也会不会这样? 就算一分钟也好, 你是否有这样想过? 真的再怎样也习惯不来.

虽然知道我们之间也只能这样莫名其妙的划上了句号, 有时候还是会想起你. 也不算是莫名吧...根本就是不应该开始的一页. 有时候真的搞不懂你在想着什么. 或许, 真的不能想太多.

那时的我们去到哪里都在一起. 还记得, 是我们4个人. , 炜绮, 得伊夫还有我. 那时应该是大学一年级里最开心的时候吧... 真的很想念那时候.

这样就好. 那时的我们在什么都还没有改变之前逃走了. 虽然很愚蠢, 可是那就是最华丽的句点吧. 你很爱她, 我明白. 你也很了解他在我心里占了多少位置. 所以, 也只能这样.



今晚, 不懂为什么突然想起很多事情. 也 5点了... 应该去睡. 明天还要早起. 嗯, 就这样. 突然想起, 大学里的人可能现在也应该猜到蓝色是谁了吧... 尤其是和特丽雅佩铃. Shhh, let's remain it as our lil' secret :-)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Never Knew It Would Feel Like A Heartbreak.

I think I should start this post with a warning, cuz this will most probably be one of my longest post ever, with tons of pictures.

This is sad. I'm being dumped by both the loves of my life two days in a row. And since you're leaving, Ive spent my entire noon searching for pictures. Most prolly you'll scold me for this or something hahaha. I realised I've lost a great deal of our old pictures together, mainly those we took during our days at Taylors. Cuz everything was in the phone which got stolen :(

Wondering what I'm talking about huh?

I'm talking bout things like this :P

Our purikura days! Goodness, that was like the "in" thing during that time! Whenever we went out (those were the days when we only go out to watch movies, have lunch, drink Coke or some funny juices, bitch bout stupid things guys do and call it a day).

And we shouted purikura to Ben in class and he thought it was a foul word and said it to Pn. Jamaliah! Hahahahaha that was classic! (Oh, this reminds me. The stupid penis game we played in class with everyone where each person have to say the word louder than the previous person and eventually end up screaming "Penis" across the corridor. Wtf.)

Then there was the incident where we got so bored we rushed out of class and pretended staring/pointing at the sky. The entire class rushed out too wondering what happened and all of them gazed at the sky like idiots when we sneaked back into class HAHAHAHA. (Come to think of it, we were pretty lifeless).

That was like, when we were in Form 3 or 4 right? My goodness. Honestly, we look like idiots here hahaha.

The days when we camwhore and do lala poses in between our papers during SPM. How many years ago was that already? I'll never forget days like this baby. It's been so many years. Back in Form 3 when we would sneak into Li Hong's class to irritate her during breaks. Oh oh and the very famous "FFFF incident" during Physics that we never fail to remind Li Hong of haha. And of course, the smelly cupboard in the Chemistry lab which you loved so much.

Come to think of it, you come up with the weirdest shit ever. Since last time. And we'll do the most annoying things to Li Hong and she'll most prolly end up getting so irritated that she won't talk us for an hour haha.

In the infamous toilet in school.

The days when we'd have a conspiracy to smuggle our phones to school and freak out during sudden spot checks. Ooh, I remember smuggling food into classsss!! *cough* Choki Choki *cough*

And how we'd both look at our own reflections whenever we walked past the school office HAHAHA! Man, I remember your shoe was bloody irritating cuz you always drag it when you walk. Hoho, and our kiasu times during the stupid running test we had to go through. (That's an inside joke that only both of us would know actually wtf)

Ah, do you remember Dandan and Lanlan?

I couldn't find the yearbook pics when we were in Primary (when we hated each other for some stupid reason hahaha) :(

Try spotting yourself love. I purposely made sure I included your favourite Mrs Lee in the picture too. you love Add Math don't you :P


Our orphanage visit 5 years back!

Seriously, the rest of the orphanage pictures were beyond chau tut. Only this was erm, decent.

Sigh. And we thought that SPM was tough. We haven't been through stupid things like PP and Consti at that time yet I guess :(

Our High School prom baby! I still like this picture very much, after so long.

Our trip to Genting! I couldn't find the picture that we purposely took and MMS-ed to Li Hong just to show her that we were having fun (yes, we were as annoying as that to LH) :(

Remember how the three of us would stupidly stand in front of the hotel's automatic door seeing who would last longer?? Whenever the door opens, the strong wind would blow in and we'll all be freezing already. Hahaha that was some funny shit.


This would already be during Taylors huh. It was before we went for Lihong's birthday dinner and after paintball if I'm not mistaken. (Haha how freaked out we were and shot aimlessly!)

Yes, shut up. I had very god forsaken blonde hair. -_________-

Loser. She even had her own fan club during those Friendster days (before lala chai's and mui's took over).

Our first job together! (It's definitely the best job ever, I swear).

I love this picture in the dai meng seng room (hahaha! We were superstars for a day.\) :3

You were so worried that you were on the verge of smuggling their coffee pot hahaha. Loser. (Cuz all we did was to make coffee, make sure there was enough snacks, eat, sit and camwhore! Who would pay you RM 110 a day for that kinda job?)

Your salty biscuits :P

(Yes, we were working).

Remember this? You screamed "Join Lee Dong Wook fan club" in the cinema before the movie started. So I'm sure you'd remember. but apparently he was on the death bed in your heart already when he (scroll to next picture) came to your life huh? :P

Your Yul-gun. You were so crazy about him when I made you watch Goong (Princess Hours) and you talked about him 24-7.

But you know what? He can never beat my love:

Shin-gun is still the best :D

(Besides the fact that he got arrested few months ago for drug abuse or something, he's still pretty much my Korean love okay) :(((

And speaking bout Koreans... there's another story to tell, but that should be kept until later. Cuz Miri comes first :P

You left Taylors half a year earlier cuz SAM ended earlier than A-Levels. Later on, we were all separated already, each pursuing a different field in our studies (Yes, that's when PP and Consti comes in).

Man, I miss those Taylors days when I'd visit your class every hour and how we'd talk about tangshinun and oh, remember the 8th wonder of the world? Hahahahaha! We were so evil.

Yes, I'm talking bout days like this when I mentioned Miri. (She'll kill me, I think she will).

When we were both still pretty happy with life and love (Before the god damned jinx thingy happened between her and I). Too bad those days didn't last.

I remember this day when she camwhored was December 11th last year hahaha! Don't ask why. It's quite irrelevant.

Li Hong's farewell before she flew off to Melb

Miri was still on I think. You know, it's pretty disturbing now when I think about Miri.. Cuz my mind will somewhat relate it to fungus. *inside joke*


Haha this picture is damn funny!! xD

That was the time when you'd keep singing fong sauuuuuuuuu and intending to bomb places like Miri.

Oh oh, then you moved onto the international line. So, Korea it was, halmangu. But that was rotten kimchi story and I think, that was when chau tut faces started to be the in thing and we started to have pathetic conversations online. (Haha don't ask. Inside joke again).

The picnic day when we got so tanned!

Loser 2

Well, after so many years, we were still pretty kiasu - even in the boat ride :x

I'll miss you loads after you leave, love. After all the stupid things we've done. Now I gotta wait till you come home again to do stupid things with you again. Wait, perhaps I'd be there already before you come home. We didn't get to spend as much time as we did together last time anymore cuz we were always busy with either exams or classes. But we never fail to talk crap online almost every night haha. The list of lame things we ever did together will never be exhausted. It's too much to be put into words already haha. (We kinda have a talent for drawing comics and inventing things like Mojojo Hong huh?) :P

All the best in Scotland aye! I'm sure you'll manage to pull through if you don't procrastinate and work hard. Oh, and remember to hug your Long Johns to sleep, they're ugly HAHAHA.

P.S. Hope you find a hot hunk and break the chain in the jinx okay. :P

This is for you, love. I'm sure you know what song it is :-)

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember all the times we had together
And as our lives change from whatever
We will still be, Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule.

I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly.

Will be think about tomorrow like how we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Love you lots Chingy. xx