Thursday, January 19, 2012


Monday, January 16, 2012

Cuz now I pay the price.

Sunday, January 15, 2012


Due to the high demands during Chinese New Year, applicants are welcome to apply to sponsor yours truly for this festive season the items listed below:

  • New clothes
  • New shoes
  • New bag
  • New accessories
  • New hairstyle
  • Mani/pedicure
  • New car (optional)
  • Plane tickets for a trip (optional)

More might be listed in the days to come. Of course applicants can opt to sponsor more (or other items) based on their own sincerity. Open for application now!!

*Don't worry for the fine prints. Terms and conditions not applicable.

Disclaimer: This is merely a joke in conjunction with CNY nearing. Please do not take it seriously. Well, you can if you want to - I wouldn't mind of course haha. Have fun doing your CNY shopping readers!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Picking up the pieces.

Of myself.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

How sad is it that in the end, both hands are empty holding nothing but bloody scars and bruises.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Tuesday, January 10, 2012




Monday, January 09, 2012

Good luck.

Sunday, January 08, 2012


You once promised you'll never do what he's done to me.

And now, look at you.

You're everything you said you'll never be.

And I think, you've done more damage than he ever did.


You also once told me that you've always wanted,

The love I gave to him to be given to you.

You've had it all. You've had much more than that in fact.

Now look what you've done to it.


Conscience. No longer in you I'm pretty sure. I shall leave the ghost of you and continue living my life like how it was 2 years plus back. Before you came into my life and changed all my routines with you calling me everyday and hanging out with me. It's hard to re-adapt to everything all over again after all these years, but I believe it's possible.

Smile. And the day will be better.

And I'll rise above this.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

All of the memories so close to me just fade away.

I remember. Do you?

That was the past. The past which I should leave behind, sad as it is. I'll never forget those times, when we were happy. Happy times are always worth remembering. But I've always got myself confused. Confused between reminiscing and dwelling. Dwelling is never good, I finally realised and snapped out of it. Constantly revolving in circles of the two years time frame. But it's time to leave these all behind at where they should belong - the past. The us from the past should reside where they are and be happy always, living an eternal life in memory lane.

And as for the present me, there's nowhere else but forward. I have no idea what the future promises, but I think I'm ready for it. Come what may and whatever happens, happens. No point wasting my tears everyday crying as if it'd change anything. Time to be happy and accept whatever life decides to throw at me.

Choose a happy ending.

Choose to be happy.

Friday, January 06, 2012

Sometimes, I really wished you slapped me instead.


Then maybe, I could've meant something to you.

Better in time.

I guess I deserved what I brought upon myself. All of it. You were definitely a real asshole to have done what you have done. But all in all, I guess I really deserved it. I have never been that scared and alone before. Really. Probably the longest, darkest walk in my life. I'm sure you'd know best at how chicken I can be. But I guess you don't really care the slightest bit anymore. That was when I learnt how heartless and cruel a person could be. Even a person who've once loved you with all that he/she is.

Time. Yeah, time would make everything better. I wouldn't know. But I surely hope it will.

It took me some time to digest it. The fact that how someone could treat another as such. Maybe the hatred is just too deep for them to be able to do that. And I understand. I'm quite hopeless, am I not? People tell me you were a real asshole. But all I could do was smile and shrugged it away, not being able to be mad at you.

I'm mad at myself sometimes though, at how useless I could be, the mere fact that I can't even be angry. It's also sad and pathetic, that there wasn't a single bit of self respect left in me. Maybe I thought that it didn't matter. Or maybe, we all just lost it somehow along the way without us even knowing.

But dear my once upon a time love, nothing is impossible. You always say it's impossible and whatnot, defying everything possible. How could you see any possibilities when you've already blinded yourself with the word impossible? You probably think I'm talking nonsense again. But do give it a thought when you're finally willing to.

Sometimes, I wonder how people could induce themselves into forgetting things. The memories, they haunt me everyday and everywhere. There's shadows of us everywhere I go. Even to the smallest corner, I see your face. I wonder if it's the same for you. Just wondering. Cuz it impresses me how you can wipe everything off your memory as if it's never happened. I admit it kills me inside, but what can I do but to mentally erase those images?

730 days of memory gone from your head just like that.

Take care. Till whenever.

I didn't know where to turn to.

See somehow I can't forget you,
After all that we have been through.

If you didn't know this,
Boy you mean everything.
All I know is,
I will be okay.

Was it all that easy?
To just put aside your feelings.

Since there's no more you and me,
It's time I let you go so I can be free.
And live my life how it should be.
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you.

It'll all get better in time.

- Better In Time; Leona Lewis.

Devastated. Disappointed.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Waiting for the end.

Waiting for the end to come,
Wishing I had strength to stand.
This is not what I had planned,
It's out of my control.

So many things were left unsaid,
It's hard to let you go.

All I wanna do is trade this life for something new.

Sitting in an empty room,
Trying to forget the past.
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Like a skyscraper.

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending,
Like we never had a chance.

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken,
But I'm standing on my feet.

You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.


Pain. What exactly is pain?

When even cuts and wounds do not hurt as much as the void left in the heart.

The greatest pain for everyone,

Is probably the pain left unseen deep inside,

Masked by a forceful smile.

Hanya kau yang mampu.

Ku cuba redakan relung hati
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi
Terlukis di dalam kenangan
Bebas bermain di hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu

Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi di dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi

Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku


If this is a joke played on me, please stop it already. It's not funny at all.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?


Would the rain wash away all the pain?

My head, it's going crazy. It's spinning.

Stop it please.

Lobotomy, morphine, metyrapone.

Anything that could help ease the pain.

It's like walking on broken glass barefooted.

Kill me please.

End the pain already. For good.

I'm begging you.

Just because she's pretty..?

When can it ever get through to your head?