Monday, November 30, 2009

When all that surround you are secrets and lies.

Had a good good day today. So mind the poser pic :P

Am too tired to even blog or Facebook. Gonna go sleep right now.

Nitey nights :-)



On an unrelated note, I really need to catch up on my show already. It's almost finishing (33 episodes) and I'm still stuck at 27. Ugh.

Hopefully... just hopefully, I might blog about today :-)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

If you just realised what I just realised.

I have always wondered to myself, there's got to be something wrong.
Now I know.
Seems like it was a name she gave.
I knew it. It's impossible that you're without a flaw.
Your initials told me so, Mr. J.

跟你抱着未等于爱上
不再抱着未等于不想
抱紧了你我又无心装载.
为什么我们总是如此的貌合神离?

或许因为我的心还留着一直忘不了的
而你的心也在不知不觉中
为了她而痛.

她可怜, 她伤心... 我也只能说, Honestly, I don't give a flying fuck.
才发现原来我的心, 还记得什么是心痛.
也只能对着你苦笑着说我没事.
其实心里, 却在意得快要疯了.

突然觉得你面前的我,
是如此的 - 贱格的贱.

Friday, November 27, 2009

You know what we say, party everyday.




Or so I thought.


Shit. Land Law assignments. Goddamnit.

See, I've been slacking on my posts recently already and I've been so lazy to even think of something to blog about. So how can I come up with something to type into the empty document in front of me? All I see is the continuous blinking of the line thingy, laughing at my futile attempts to compose something out of nothingness. I'd be so amazed at myself if I can ever do it.

Maybe it's just my mind refusing to think. Refusing to comprehend a single shit of the never ending paragraphs. Or maybe it's just my hands refusing to lay themselves, caressing the smooth pages of my textbooks (Ya, I tried to make it sound more interesting). Someone take the Lost Symbol away from my hands and change it to Land textbooks, then maybe I'll consider.

I need an adrenaline rush. You know, the stuffs which might help in me creating some mess called bullshit, and hopefully I'll manage to pull my way through trying to convince my lecturer about my views on land registration. Honestly, I think two words are more than enough as opposed to the word limit allowed, rather than causing us the trouble to try to paraphrase passages/judgments, ripping that Thesaurus in our inner mind and all that beating around the bush crap. No comment. Short and simple, baby.

Screw it. I'm clicking the red x button. And rely on the phrase I've been telling myself: I'll try again tomorrow.

Yeah, wait till tomorrow is the 17th. And I'll watch how I die.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.

Managed to catch Twilight: New Moon today. Thank youuuu for being so nice to line up early morning :D

A went to line up for the tix early morning at around 9 something and we only managed to get front row seats. Like, 4th row from the front? Wtf.



The crazy line when we got there in the afternoon.

Twilight...sure rings a bell somewhere in my head. I still remember watching it last year, happily. It was somewhere during this time of the year too, 29th if I'm not mistaken... I'm not really sure. But yeah. Things pass too quickly sometimes. Too quick for the mind to even remember details.

*

或许我能明白她的感受
毕竟
我也曾经跟她一样
爱着一个不会回头的人.
爱着一个心向着别人的人.

残忍, 无情, 这我都懂. 我比谁都更懂
因为我的心也曾经很残忍的被伤过
因为我的梦也曾经很无情的被碎过
只是我不能允许
你为她心痛而心痛.

也不能再允许你为她遗憾而遗憾.
因为
我真的会放手, 宁愿选择放弃.

我不想再重复那时的心碎.
或许我的回忆清除地不够干净
可是亲爱的,
请你给我一点时间, 把碎片找回来.

好不好?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Baby, there's no other superstar.

Today, I looked back - I realised what a fool I was. And realised how much things have changed in the past 365 days. I was holding onto something which meant so much to me. Yet, it'd mean nothing to another.

Cuz if it did, he wouldn't have been so heartless.






I finally reminded myself of the girl I was a year ago.
I don't think I know her anymore... and I think I miss her.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I will be, all that you want.

you know I would.

*



等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

Monday, November 23, 2009

就那么喜欢吗?

I know that that phrase had been quoted a gazillion times in this blog of mine. So I decided to make it a title of my post today.

This phrase had been bothering me since... it was too long ago that I couldn't really remember when anymore. Perhaps, a good 7 months ago? Approximately. Or rather I should be asking myself this instead, "A good 7 months had passed, so why still ask?" As I've mentioned before, this phrase was never meant for myself. Possibly, it was meant for somebody else. Who knows. Maybe.

Not like I can ever figure out why. Not like there even is any answer to that. And even if it does, I'll never be able to find out anyway.

It'll be a lie if I say it doesn't matter anymore. But, what can I do... and who am I to be able to do anything. I don't know when it started, but some time ago, it started to feel as if everything I had - for that short duration of time - was so subtle... so close to being imaginary. Or rather, it felt more like a dream. But how can a dream leave so many scars behind... I really don't know.

I'm happy the way I am now, I really am. There's nothing more I could ask for. I block these thoughts out of my mind, I'm trying very hard already and I'm doing just fine right now. But, how real could this be? Or is it merely me being in a frail attempt to convince myself that some people are no longer there, where it matters the most?

Cuz it still hurts even if it heals, like mad.

遗憾, 又能算什么?
只怪我们连错过也错过.

对你我来说, 回忆或许是最恐怖的敌人
只是
我们在彼此的回忆里扮演的角色都不一样.

回忆的枷锁, 又怎能卸下?
心痛, 我也大概忘了怎样去感受.
或许, 连心痛的资格也没了吧?

也或许, 就因为是这样的夜才会让我想起你吧.

不是你的他, 我又能给多少?

因为我很害怕.

Maybe it's time I open this gift which I happened to fumble upon. A gift so rare I can never find another quite the same.

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you.

So it was Alton's birthday on Saturday night. My first time to Rootz, this newly opened club at the highest floor in Lot 10. It was really packed, but fortunately we had the private room all to ourselves. Quite a decent place I guess.

Alton was pissed drunk that night (when is he not), and I doubt he remembers how he got home. Haha, bloody hilarious video of him posted on Facebook. Poor dude.



Haha Ralph's flaming which got him puking hahaha!



Napet. Who sleeps in the club :/



Ralph!



Ah, hot hunks in the girls toilet.



Dave was lining up halfway till they decided to change venue cuz the queue was too long :((



Jeremie :)



Julz cool haircut. Not exactly a haircut but yea...



Julz calls this ecstasy pose haha wtf.



Alcoholic in action!



The girlsssss, just a small bit of them haha.

The rest of the pictures will be uploaded on Facebook, as usual. So yea, that wrapped up the night. Guess I won't be partying anymore for some time (at least not as often as I did), and hopefully, it'll last :)

你的温柔如此靠近, 带走我的心跳.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Take the good, the bad, the happy and the sad.

It was another singing session immediately after class yesterday. I swear, we sang like nobody's business. Like, almost 6 hours I think wtf. Well, it kinda became a chatting session towards the end about the jerks in our lives. Yes, jerks. Oh well.

Anyway, thanks babe, for the sheep! Well, she saw my sheep and said it was too cute and lonely. So she decided to buy another one to keep it company. Sorry babe, they kinda parted again. Only the white one you bought is with me now heheh. The other one is well...somewhere else :)



Haha sorry, couldn't help it.



Lifeless girl who still goes on Facebook and blogs in the KTV :P



The pair of baby sheeps :)



I love my sheeps :3

Let's hope tonight's gonna be a good good night. It's been quite a while :D

Friday, November 20, 2009

Cuz you're sweeter than apple pie.

Finally updated the pics on Facebook! Ugh. I procrastinated far too long. Assignments! They're coming after me soon, real soon. And I'm perpetually hungry nowadays. That's bad.



Haha, what a cute pic. Randomly found this online. Really cute :3

Sigh.

Damn. It's Friday again. I kinda have a love-hate relationship with Fridays now. I really dread Friday mornings now when I'm forced to climb out of my bed and resist the bloody temptation to fall back to sleep and drag my very reluctant self into class. But on another note, it's another weekend! Sigh. I think I'll be one of the happiest soul on Earth if we were to receive an e-mail saying class is cancelled tomorrow.

Class is gonna commence in 8 hours' time. This is annoying. As much as I despise attending 8am classes, it really leaves me with no choice. Looks like it's time for another Spot the Difference session again huh.

Quote Dave: Take Chinese newspapers. They seem to be a lot harder. Then we can kill more time.

Hahahaha he's always so sarcastic! x)

当他手放在你身
才想到我是好友永远没权利去伤感
忘记如何忍耐但期待一夜之间醒过来
我和你便已如恋人热爱

但愿是我想得太多 :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you.

Today is just one of those days, where I'd randomly think of you - it's like a habit I can never get rid of. And then, let the thoughts of you dissolve into the one thing we call reality.




That’s the thing about letting old lovers go. You don’t stop loving some of them. There are a couple you love no less than you ever did. You’re not going to try and make it work again, but if they needed you, you’d drop everything.

— Tori Amos


可是我有时候, 宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透, 也许你会陪我看细水长流


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.

Had a casual dinner with some family and friends. It was a really enjoyable dinner, (though we were late), but I really had fun that day. We had lots of laughs and talked more than we ever did. Too bad time had to pass so quickly :(



The Cousin was there, of course. Haha bitch, I know you like this pic.



The sepets hahaha x)

Pictures will be uploaded on Facebook soon :-)



Ah, I've officially left the teens behind. Now where's my present? :P

Thanks to all those who texted/called to wish me that night. Hope I didn't miss out on anyone in replying! I'm really glad I received them from all those that mattered, none of them being missing. Okay I admit, I secretly removed the notification thing from Facebook where it'll remind all my friends about my birthday hahaha.

Thanks to you who called from UK, knowing that I miss you so much. Now, let's hope that my birthday present will not become a Valentines' Day present (knowing your speed). I really wished you were here that night :(

Thanks to you who came all the way to send me my pressie, I was really surprised. I'm sorry now that she wants to skin you already hahaha. (P.S. Holly will always love Gerry haha wtf)

Thanks to you who texted. A simple text, but it was more than enough. I really never expected it.

Thanks to you for the crazy surprise which almost gave me a heart attack. You're more than I can ask for.


P.S. Dear Cousin, I'm still waiting for my sheep. No thanks to you yet till I see my sheep :P

P.P.S Thanks for everything, really :3


I'm too lazy to type already. My show is waiting. Tata.

要我怎么学会多了爱的明天

Sunday, November 15, 2009

When 1 turns to 2.



Ah, I like this pic very much.

Let's hope this year, it'll be different :-)

Happy birthday.

还爱, 带一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕, 幻灭重生
祝我生日快乐

This is a battle we've won.

从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美
痛苦寂寞还有一些疲惫
不允许他人随意进入我的零度空间
宁愿孤独, 懒得再去想谁.

两个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰?
挣脱过去, 然后忘记一切
没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
谁会抓住我的无力双臂?

来不及的防备, 没听过的誓言
要我怎么学会多了爱的明天?
放下所有防备, 一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天

不会再哭.

- 零 by 柯有伦

I can't get used to this.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.

- 若那一刻从来我不哭, 让知道我可以很好.

Had a blasting good night last night. Had an early birthday celebration with the Cousin, Mom and her colleagues (who the Couz and I also happen to know) cuz there were quite a few November babies.

On an unrelated note, yes - if you happen to be one of those who have forgotten that it's my birthday month... well, it sucks to be you.

Anyway, yea. It was a really really enjoyable night and I'm pretty sure everyone had a blast, judging from the noise made. And sigh, the Cousin did it again. 3 times this time, or was it twice? God bless her. I think it's became a norm for her already every time we sing.



:3

chau tut pic



Poser!! :P

Let's hope this is right.


I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

— Douglas Adams

Friday, November 13, 2009

My sweet dream.



Maybe I do.

*

I know you'd wait, with that innocent smile you always have.

When I finally walk out from the world where he was everything and absolutely everything.

Where everything was nothing but a game.

I'm sorry I can't tell you that I've left him behind in my past, that he's no longer there.

Cuz I can't tell you something that ain't true.

I've tried finding excuses. I've tried searching for flaws.

But you've failed me.

How can I ever let myself miss out on a person like you?

Then what's stopping me?

Maybe, I'm just too caught up with the fact that you're too good to be true.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Maybe, it was a glimpse of what heaven would look like.

Hmm, another spontaneous after class activity huh? It was one of the great singing session I've had with friends It's been so long since I've managed to sing like this with friends heh :D:D



In the toilet.



Apparently she complains that I text even in the toilet :/

We really should do this more often heheh. No, not the toilet. The singing, I mean.

我看透了他的心, 还有别人逗留的背影
他的回忆清除的不够干净
我看到了他的心, 演的全是他和她的电影
他不爱我, 尽管如此,
他还是赢走了我的心.

再靠近一点点, 就让你牵手
再勇敢一点点, 我就跟你走
你还等什么?
时间已经不多, 再下去只好只做朋友

再向前一点点, 我就会点头
再冲动一点点,, 我就不闪躲
不过三个字, 别犹豫这么久
只要你说出口

你就能拥有我.

Oh gosh, Pei Ling, yellow is ugly. I'll settle with peach :O

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

With or without you.

谢谢你如此温柔
捧着爱静静等候
我的双手其实同样在颤抖

但我能给你什么?
我只是一个遗忘的我
心被一扫而空

我会把你种在我心中
也许某天会再次终于长出一个梦

不知道不明了为什么我的心
明明是想靠近
却孤单到黎明.

还没决定往哪走
才所以不能答应你陪我
怕你会变成我.

谢谢你如此温柔.

我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过也不会忘
为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多怀都不肯醒来

我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
如果还有遗憾
又怎样?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart.

I just saw today, after my Japanese class, as I descended the escalator.

When I told myself,

It's Christmas again.



It's almost a year already.

How fast time flies.

How can it ever be the same Christmas,

...when everything has changed already?

もうクリスマスだよ。

Oh, I think you should know.

我惯了爱他你怎样做?
在懸崖还是我无退路.

他从来都比你差, 仍然死心愛他
垂头再度听他欺诈
而明知你爱我, 我竟扮不知道 
好人恕我未能做到.


Monday, November 09, 2009

In your eyes I'd like to stay.

Super spontaneous trip to Genting. Yes, Genting. Like immediately right when lecture ended, we were bored and decided to get up there. Went home, changed, grabbed the camera and off we went.

Didn't take us long to reach, and believe it or not, it was my first time taking the cable car up to Genting (the very virgin-type first time was a few years ago when I had to take the cable car down to the bus station from Genting).

The weather was... rather dramatic. It was as if it was going through the time of the month, seriously. On our way up, it was raining and when we reached, it stopped. Then it started drizzling and stopped again. Then it started raining (again) and stopped (bloody hell again) and eventually started raining cats and dogs! It's really confusing. Cuz the rides won't be operating under the rain, so it's pretty annoying when you line up for the ride and when it's finally your turn, it starts to rain and you get turned away. Bloody shit.

But nevertheless, we still managed to catch a few rides that we wanted (fortunately) and had LOADS of fun. Well, some stupid things that you do really gives you lots of fun sometimes. Like, really.

I have a strong feeling, that this is -not- going to be our last visit there heheh :3



Yours truly.



When we were taking pictures, this person here wanted to scare us from behind and obviously I spotted him and ran for dear life while PL took the camera and went -that- close to snap a picture of the snake. Yes, it's a bloody real snake. I hate snakes.



Yea, I fled -that- far away.



In the teacup thingy.



I think this was during the pirate ship ride haha.

Look out for the video on Facebook, and check 1:02 till 1:10. It was bloody hilarious hahaha.



Greedy pig :P



Haha it was really foggy this afternoon that it felt like we were in dreamland wtf.



Under the shelter when it was raining.



Tryna be cool :P



The thing about this place is, it was the main entrance at Genting. You know, when you stand right in front of the automatic doors, the wind blows in right at your face and it feels so good even though it's so cold? Yea, we kinda did that *sheepish face*



Wakaka. We purposely did a pose like this to fit a picture inside hahaha. I feel so anal.



And that was our trip babeh :D

On an unrelated note, was reading PL's updated post today, and saw this. Damn, it did get me emofied for a bit over there indeed.

是谁,
让她跌到, 让她哭泣, 让她一个人疗伤,
让她害怕那曾经跌到的路?

Who was it,
Who watched her fall, let her cry, let her get back up on her own,
And let her be so afraid of that path again?

那路就在面前, 她却不敢往前走
害怕会在跌一次

Another road is waiting up ahead, but she's too afraid
Afraid that she might fall again like she did.

又是谁,
让那么单纯开心的路
变成了一到不敢跨越的障碍?

And who was it,
Who turned such innocence
to a line which she's too afraid to cross?

Whoa, emo shit. You definitely need another of the same to understand such a feeling.

只怕我自己会伤害到你.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.

I miss you.

但我能给你什么?
我只是一个他遗忘的我, 心被一扫而空.
还没决定往哪走,才所以不能答应你陪我
怕你会变成我.

我害怕, 伤害自己, 伤害你.
因为我真的不想错过你. 也不想被束缚.
可是我, 也好害怕有天会伤害到你.
我最不想伤害的人, 也莫过于你.
你太好了.
You're too good to be true.

或许还是宁愿选择孤单
因为到最后还是放不下, 每天都会想起的他.

我该怎么办?

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Just one night couldn't be so wrong.

Tonight was the first time I set foot on Banting (a town located near Klang) for some reasons. It wasn't a long ride, reached there in no time and met up with PL. We spent quite some time at Banting and I swear, that girl has no faith in that place despite being an inhabitant of the place herself. Hahaha wtf.

Yam cha-ed at Banting, still and left back for KL at around 11 something. A very, very spontaneous trip to catch a movie at MV (which later on failed cuz every show had already started when we got there). After leaving MV, we decided to get back into MV again for karaoke wtf. Try beating that kinda spontaneous.



With PL


The blurry picture that PL liked a lot x)



Scary how MV looks like at 1 am plus huh?

Wait till you see how it is at 3 am. Completely creepy. Yes, we left that late.


You're most probably one of the sweetest thing I've met.
But I can't accept a gift like that.
A gift like you.


All the pain held in your
hands are shaking cold,
Your hands are mine to hold.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Shhh, let's not spoil this moment.

It's like taking a ride to an unknown destination, to a place I'm so strange to.

Part of me refused to get off the ride, from my territory where I'd feel safe in.

Where I could get off and hop on back anytime I wished.

Where I could run away from the past I've been dwelling in.

But should I forget everything and take off on another ride

Where I could possibly find my way?

So while I'm still contemplating,

Let me, just let me continue my ride.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Hey, isn't this easy?

Could you, drive me somewhere far away,

And let me lean on your shoulder without saying a word

So that I could cry my heart out?

For all those that's been bothering me so much.

So much that it's so bloody sickening.

I can't take it, really. I need to flee from this.

And finally be who I really am, doing what I really want.

And not be tied up, like a bird with no wings.

I'd kill myself.

No place to go, no place to go.
To dry her eyes, broken inside.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

It doesn't matter where we take this road.

Sometimes, I wished things would be easier.

People say it's best to enjoy this part right here.

I just can't.



I'm too afraid.

I can't put myself into this.


Then, why is it bothering me so much?




Would you bring me away from this town one day?
And escape reality for a bit.
From my reality. From your reality.
When we could walk on and on,
talking about all the different things we see.

And laugh about absolutely nothing.

I'm sorry I can't show you my dream, dear.
Cuz I can't remember where I lost it.
But maybe, just maybe.
I could show you
the demons of my past which I've never mentioned of.

Of what has become of me.


Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Break the curse.

No, it ain't happening anymore. Really.
I'm so sick of this, so damn sick of this.

It's always never good enough.


Not for the third time already.

And I definitely don't want history to repeat itself again.
When I once loved so much.

I don't know, but don't blame me if one day you turn around,
And I'm not there anymore.

Monday, November 02, 2009

It's a state of bliss to think you're dreaming.

Could you tell me,

If I set foot into that deep abyss,

Would I fall hard and go back to what I have become,

Or would I find light in the darkness encapsulating me?

Could you give me an answer to that?

Sometimes, I feel like letting myself go, and just fall - a free fall.

But it hurts too much and I'm too afraid already.

*

Once again, I shall rid myself of this feeling. Cuz it won't work out.

I just know it won't.


I know this, I know this alphabet.
A little bit too well actually.
So before the borderlines are crossed
And before too little becomes too much
Let's just say goodbye.


Cuz I won't let it happen to me for the third time anymore.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Your hands are mine to hold.

Went for All American Rejects' concert at Bukit Jalil last night. A very spontaneous one actually. Didn't intend to go initially, but ended up going with the Cousin. Honestly, the only song which I can sing entirely was just Move Along hahaha! Thus explaining the desperate efforts that Adelin and I made to sing to the songs, which we knew nothing but the Chorus parts. Oh well, effort is good :3

Couldn't see much (due to the crazy crowd). So much for being short. Meh. And that top was the closest thing to Halloween that I have. Double meh. Oh well.

Also met Jia Xin there with her sweetheart. But I doubt she'd let me post that pic up so yea. I'll just mention her HAHAHA. It's been quite a while since we've met, despite the fact that we're in the same uni. I think the last time we met was during the picnic trip we had before Chingy left.



With the Cousin.



The Cousin and her friends - Bryce and Nick :-)



Adelin, Jo-Shua and Jamie.

It was supposedly a couple shot when Adelin insisted she wanted to be in the picture. Funny girl haha.



Dave and I were bored while waiting. Heh.

No, we weren't kicking any stranger x)



Adelin, my also-as-short partner :P



Cheater. Carried by Jin.



The Cousin again :3



The group of us!

(From left):

Amanda, Jamie, Jo-Shua, Dave and J.

T'was an enjoyable night when my legs felt so tired even though I was wearing flats heh. It was a good experience when the group of us uni mates come out for a concert and enjoy ourselves. We should do this more often, if we could :-)

And even when your hope is gone,
Move along, move along

Just to make it through.