Sunday, January 31, 2010

I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams.

Attended BAT (British American Tobacco)'s first event in year 2010 - Define last night at KL Life Center. My very first BAT event actually. Luckily we had the VIP invites, therefore it was less crowded and less stuffy, and they had the fan thingy upstairs! Free flow was good, the music was not bad, a pretty decent night. But Angeline came so late, I had to leave by that time already T________T

As usual, I'm too lazy to upload the pictures over here in Blogger, so I'll just share a bit of some here, the rest will all be on Facebook :-)

Cool right!

With Mel

Sun and Peanut :D

Jin from Hitz :)

Angelineeeeee, who never fails to be late :C

Small part of the crowd downstairs.

Our polaroid!
(With Sun, Peanut and Julz)

Yeap, so that was the night. I left early though :)

On a side note, Pei Ling, your song still never fails to emofy me all the time. And I mean all the time. Stupid girl. And speaking of songs, I really like this part of a song I've recently heard. Well, not exactly recently... I've been hearing this song so often I could almost sing the whole song but only paid attention to its lyrics a few days ago. Just as emo hahaha x)

Anyone who could guess which song this is? Teehee :P


Saturday, January 30, 2010

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry.

A very restless Saturday afternoon. I woke up at 1.30 thinking that it was just 10 something in the morning. I successfully slept for 13 hours straight, it felt like a coma. Oh well, no more sleep deprivation!

Anyhoots, check these pictures out :-)

Wondering why I posted all Katy Perry pictures huh. Wrong. It's pictures of Katy Perry and Zoey (Zooey) Deschanel. Gosh, they look like separated twins, don't they? I failed badly to convince Mia to think that they look alike. But on the bright side, I managed to deceive loser D unintentionally, cuz he thought they were the same person teehee.

Zoey (or Zooey) Deschanel is the one who starred in 500 Days of Summer (yes, Secret Lover, I still haven't finished the show yet). The cousin have been telling me about her before this already that she looked eeriely identical to singer, Katy Perry. Throughout the show, I just can't help but to think that it's Katy Perry I'm seeing on the screen. Oh well. Just thought it was fun to blog about this.

On another note,

Happy Birthday, you.
Happy 21st.
Have a happy and enjoyable one :-)


Friday, January 29, 2010

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen.

Came across this somewhere online. It's just soooo cute!

Cute, no?

I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

- Roy Croft

Thursday, January 28, 2010


今天听了首歌, 真的再也没有别的歌能这么清楚的唱出我们之间的关系了. 亲爱的, 如果有天你能听见, 你会这样的想起我吗? (Stupid Pei Ling, I hate you for the song).

「他应该也很想你吧」 这么一句话, 让我停顿了一下.

这是我们的遗憾. 一个我一直释怀不了的遗憾.
原以为属于我的梦, 才发现只是我迷了路

该流的眼泪早已干了, 该埋怨的早已忘了

我们每天见面, 是庆幸吗? 还是彼此折磨...?
可是有时候, 能遗憾也算是一种幸福吧.

一直存在着的那不能说的激情, 只能被逼着遗忘.
紧紧跟随的过去, 也只能随时间的过去, 一分一秒被遗弃.

你就直接回头吧, 她在等着你
不要怕我会哭泣, 早就在心底
想想你说过的话, 其实我们不虚假
那就好了吧, 这些够了呀

我们的爱情是秘密, 不能成立


A very nice pic done by the Cousin :)

连说一句 「不在乎天长地久, 只在乎曾经拥有」 的资格都没有,


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick.

I'm so sleep deprived recently that I fall asleep at times when I don't even realise it. I can fall asleep in class and not know that I did. I never knew it was that hard to keep my eyes open. Don't ask me why I'm so sleep deprived cuz I don't really know why. (I wished I could blame it on assignments though but now that it's over... oh well). I've been sleeping for less than 5 hours a day recently and I don't even know the reason why. Talk about pathetic.

It's sad that I don't get enough sleep everyday. Don't tell me to sleep early, it's not something possible. So the only way is to wake up late. That is another mission impossible. During the weekends when my mom doesn't work (and I am free from the obligations of attending classes), she would wake me up and when I ask her why, she'll tell me cuz she was bored and I seemed like I was sleeping happily. FML.

But then, there are also days when I get to sleep in for a bit cuz classes only start at 12pm on certain days. Just when I thought I could get some sleep happily without any disturbance, the bloody people upstairs just had to renovate the damn house and drill holes early morning. That noise is bloody annoying. Double FML.

I need sleep. I love sleeping. They really should cancel the week's classes and let us poor students sleep in. Or maybe, cancel off the 8am classes. That would do just fine. You know, I used to think that sleeping was a total waste of time when I was young. I even used to tell my mom that I don't wanna sleep cuz I could make use of that time to do something else more productive (trust me, back then I even considered studying). How imbecile. Don't know what went wrong in the growing up process. HOW CAN SLEEPING BE A WASTE OF TIME? IT'S A VERY GOOD USE OF TIME.

Everybody loves sleeping. I need to stop being sleep deprived.

Yes, this is a very cheating post cuz I currently have no idea what to blog about. Actually I do. Just that I'm not in a mood to construct a decent post right now. So this would do for now, till I finally get the mojo back. And half of the time, I don't know what I'm talking about in this post.

At the same time, I feel so restless. I'm too lazy to even sleep (I don't know wtf it means but yeah). My mind constantly thinks of things which I don't really have to think about instead of focusing on the more important stuffs. It just... drifts away sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

I can't take it any longer. Good night.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Oh baby let me burn the night away.

Today, it suddenly broke the minute I got home. The entire metal part hanging onto it broke. It broke in a way which I couldn't fix. It had been there for a year plus, always making sure I never lose it. But today it broke.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel sad about it. I really thought I'd be sad if it were to break one day. Well, it broke today - and I was so fine that I surprised myself. So I picked it up, took off the remaining strap and kept it into the box, where everything else was. And that was it.

Hey, guess what? I can finally come clean. And walk off - from this endless melody, from this shadow you left behind.



一起上课,一起吃饭,一起聊天... 原来,太靠近彼此反而更靠近结束


Sunday, January 24, 2010

as we drift along with time, he said.

Posted by the Secret Lover

Love; Toxicity.

This love,
Our love,
It's so wrong,
And yet its so right,
Let's not try not to lose sight,
As our love is so intoxicating,
Almost as if we are slowly,
Being poisoned,
Into hearts of our own.

Yet, we still seek for the thrill,
The pleasure, the euphoric sensation,
That stimulates us in every way possible.

We knew it would take a toll on us,
As time floats pass,
But, as long as I have you;

Love, even if you were poison to me,
I would go through the intoxication,
To be with you, for eternity.

*this is for you* <3

Original post here.

There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life.

So it was Manshan's 21st birthday celebration last night at Helo Bali. Don't ask why it was there cuz none of us knew. Supposed to be at Changkat but some last minute changes were made, so yea... we somehow ended up there.

Weird music, weird crowd, weird lighting. Thank god we were one bunch of fun people (hahaha!)

It was the first time I got so wasted I think I was on the verge of being drunk. Head was spinning, the feeling of almost puking was baadddddd. Surprisingly, despite my head spinning already, the first thing I did when I got home was to Facebook. Talk about lifeless. Sub consciously posted something on the Secret Lover's wall (which I did not remember till the next morning and went "oh fuck" the next day when I saw it), showered and passed out on the bed already.

The birthday boy with the girls :)

Jamie was somehow missing in the picture haha.

Amanda and Kellie :D

Andy! Oh, it was Phuture's 1 year Anniversary last night, I didn't know :x

Pictures on Facebook :)


Thanks you for last night. If it weren't for you, I think I would have woken up by the side of some road in Sunway already this morning.
Thank you lots


Speaking of which, guess what? I got my very first compliment from the Secret Lover last night. (It had always been insults, and only insults).

You caught me by surprise :P

And we had this (quite) stupid conversation which I found pretty funny (and pointless) at that time.

ĴØŇ says (3:56 PM):
*ur the only child rite

.....heart, kamen says (3:57 PM):

ĴØŇ says (3:57 PM):
*in some ways spoiled

.....heart, kamen says (3:58 PM):

ĴØŇ says (3:58 PM):
*ur parents nvr emphasize the letter J to u then now
*u want J
*u find J unconsciously

.....heart, kamen says (3:59 PM):
*no la
*i dont know whats wrong with me n J's
*must be smtg i did in my past life or smtg

ĴØŇ says (4:00 PM):
*like what
*hunt down all the guy's named J?

.....heart, kamen says (4:00 PM):
*maybe i was some ninja
*and killed everyone with the name J
*so now karma

Yes, that's how futile our conversations can be sometimes heheh -_______-

Saturday, January 23, 2010

No, I don't think she has a clue.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past and
A healed memory is not a deleted memory.

突然想起你, 还有过去的我们.
你, 真的完全放下了吗?

昨天, 你不小心脱口叫了我一声,
当时的我措手不及, 只能当听错.

我想, 这只是让我们自己好过一点的自我催眠吧?

你...始终还是回到她身边. 而我也有我该回到的地方.

当你决定你要离开我时, 我没有说什么
有好几次我都想挽留, 苦求也没有用

其实你很爱她, 她很温柔吗?
其实你很想她, 就说出口吧
我已不想多说, 鸣住耳朵不想再次听到你说

For history is meant to be forgotten.


我们, 会有那么一天吗?

P/S. Delia, don't say I don't translate the Japanese for you anymore :P

I'm happy right where I am now.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Please don't give in, I won't let you down.

I'm a free soul, as of now. Well, till exactly a month later when the next assignment is due (heehee). Have officially completed my Company assignment (not counting the fact that my printer chose to die on me and stubbornly refused to print the remaining two pages of my essay).

So yes baby, let's waste Friday nights together - shall we?


Just let me walk in my own pace,
Cuz I tend to slip once in a while.
I know you'd be able to follow up.
Follow up to my weird paces,
Cuz you always knew.

Just don't give up, I'm working it out.
Cuz I will be all that you want.
It messed me up, need a second to breathe.
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you meant to me.

Once upon a time, I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are.
So what do you want from me?

It's me, I'm a freak.
But thanks for loving me,
Cuz you're doing it perfectly.

You and I could write a bad romance.

Thursday, January 21, 2010





就知道今晚蓝色的你会出现. 明明知道不应该这样, 却无法不在乎你.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fly me to the moon.

This is what assignments do to you. You end up doing stupid things online.

Stupid. He said Johnny Depp ain't hot.

How dare you. You're a Jon/Jonny/Johnny yourself too! Then you ain't hot, hmph (like I didn't know that already). I think I shall stick to Jon instead haha. I'd very much prefer that instead. Just doesn't sound right x)

P/S. Johnny Depp is still sexy.

Hahaha! The unintentional act cute face which I intentionally took! :P

Okay, a normal picture :)

An hour (or so) later, I decided to continue attempting my assignments when he, went for breakfast at 4 am his time. Crazy. If you're wondering, yeap, this is the secret lover <3

Hmmmm... this is so true.

Okay, back to assignments!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Little black butterflies, deep inside me.

It's not my fault, really.

Dear lecturer, I have tried.


Edit: Crap. I've been facing the document of my halfway done Company assignment for hours. And I mean, hours - literally. But I have done nothing at all. Thanks a lot Jon (I just had to blame someone). Now that you've went out, I have no more excuses to procrastinate. Stupid. <3

Try ffk me on The date and see what happens to you :P

Take me on a trip I'd like to go someday.

Yeap, oh shit. I'm right there now.

Monday, January 18, 2010

To my secret lover.

Happy birthday to you, who's turning a year older today.

Damn. Wrong picture. That's for me. My Chuck Bass :P:P

Now here's a better one :)

May all your wishes come true and as much as I hate saying this, stay good looking as you grow older! :P
As you said, Sunway Lagoon! Hahaha you ass. :P
Wished I was there to celebrate with you though :((

Happy Birthday, Jon ♥♥


xoxo, more of the o's - as you said :)

Love, hime.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

You don't know what it's like to be like me.

Perhaps, it's time I let myself go and be who I was,

When I didn't give a damn about absolutely everything.

Before I start driving myself crazy.

Cuz you'll never understand anyway.
Cuz I care too much when you care too little.

Sometimes, I wished I could run under the rain like this :(

P/S. New link added, dear secret lover ♥ ♥
That's my favourite picture of you.
Skilled photographer you have :P

Saturday, January 16, 2010

And I hate that I love you so.

It's been a while. And I think it's about time.

My feet's been telling me,

that it's time to dance.


Damn assignments. They're such a turn off, really.

yes, very much.

Friday, January 15, 2010

I'll be your hope, be your love, be everything that you need.

Maybe you're somewhere thinking about me too,
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.
And I can't imagine two worlds spinning apart come together eventually.

I'll be at the end of my restless road,
But this journey it was worth the fight,
To be with you.

And I remember stepping on your feet exactly this way :)

Polar bears. Lefties. Penguins <3
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness - and call it love.

I can never agree more to that

Thursday, January 14, 2010

再说你也不会懂, 心再痛你能做什么?

我们突然的结束, 说真的, 还是很不甘.

一直没有说清楚的感觉, 我们谁都不曾说出口.
你我都收得很干净, 太干净了, 仿佛就像没有发生过的过去.
我们什么都没说, 就这样结束了.
还记得当时你对我说, 忘记不容易, 却必须做选择.
无奈的我也只能告诉你说「没关系, 我并没有怪你」.




Wednesday, January 13, 2010

If the whole world told me I should disappear, could i fall right next to you?

See that? That's to you, assignments.

I almost got into my denial mode (like how I did when holidays ended) when I was told that the due date of our Company Law assignment is next Friday. I even tried convincing my friends saying no no, it can't be.

If I slept with my book, or do what Dexter did (omelette du fromage), could I possibly come up with another 3000 words of bullshit? Maybe I could crap my way through. Sigh. I'm seriously dreading this. Never mind that if you don't understand the Dexter part.

Oh well. Assignments, assignments... Screw them.

Even if the sky is falling down, down, down.

I've been watching but the stars refused to shine,
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs.
I know that it's out there,
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere.

All I gotta do is find my way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain.

I'll never be second to the previous one anymore, not this time.

Cuz it gets me feeling like shit.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Cuz we've lost it all, nothing lasts forever.

Sometimes, I wished I was on my own.

Sometimes, I wished I had full control of my own life.

Sometimes, I wished there were sometimes.

Fuck this shit. It annoys me every time.

And I mean all the time.

We're drifting apart, and I can't help it.

and I'm sorry you, I really am :(

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Your faith walks on broken glass.

I knew this feeling. It happens to me most of the time, or rather almost every time I should say. Let's just put it this way, things were never meant to be perfect, even if I think they were.

I don't know why it bothers me. Perhaps it's me being too into this that I'm losing self control. Perhaps it's just too important to me that it matters so much. I should've known, I should've known better never to let myself fall the same way I did. It made me realise once again that things will not be okay just because I think it is.

I'm walking so carefully, as if I were to step onto crushed glass the very next step I take forward. But I never wanna go back to my old ways again. Cuz I definitely do not want this to be another repetitive page in the chapter.

This feeling is seeping into me again. The same feeling which I knew too well, the feeling that usually deceives my mind into doing stupid things which never goes well with what we call happy endings.

This is not happening.

有时候, 也许一个人会更快乐.
有时候, 也许一个人才不会有束缚.
有时候, 也许习惯了像刺蝟般的自我保护


Oh, and a very random one. A song which the Cousin have recently sent to me. I think PL might like it :-P

其实你很爱她, 对我的惩罚
说你没有想她, 是可怜我吧?
我已没有借口, 只能放手, 不能奢求你说爱我,

其实你很爱她, 她很温柔吗?
其实你很想她, 就说出口吧
我已不想多说, 嗚住耳朵 
不想再次听到你说, 你很爱她.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

And I don't care what they do, I'm gonna be with you.

Sometimes (actually most of the time), I'm pretty much lazy. Lazy to attend classes, lazy to do chores, lazy to even wake up. As most would already know, the word healthy was never in my dictionary. I sleep during the wee hours of the morning, wake up in the afternoon and would most spend my days out till night time. And it's far from being productive.

I wanna go somewhere, somewhere outside this country. Wherever it may be. So please, may there be lots of cash and holidays. Oh, and minus the assignments please.

I wanna go out, now. Plans, anyone?

It was a good 6 days :)

Thanks for being there, always making sure I'm doing fine.
Even though sometimes we may hate each other :P

Friday, January 08, 2010

And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight.

今天, 一上网看到你突如其来的留言. 说真的, 真的吓了我一下. 因为真的没有想到你会留言. 就那么简单的一句, 「最近你怎么了? 怎么一个礼拜了都不见你?」 就让我慌了那么一下下. 可是也开心了一下下, 因为至少你有发现到我的不在场.

是我想太多吗? 还是到头来, 我们在彼此心里都有个解不清的位置? 至少我是那样. 无论我怎么去逃避, 也删除不了你在我心里的位置. 是那么重要吗? 还是得不到的东西永远是最好的?

或许, 到最后只是我自己... 想太多而已.
或许, 我们也只能这样.

Moving back to reality, it feels more real being in the reality which I am in right now. And definitely happier.

If everyday were to be like this. But there are also times when it slips through my head that, there's this point where you float on happiness so high up there that when you fall, you hit so hard and you can't feel yourself breaking into pieces. That's why I never allowed myself to be high up there, till I lost all control.

Oh, speaking bout this, holidays ended (and this includes all the self declared ones too). Damn, I'm so not in the zone. Someone motivate me :(

Thursday, January 07, 2010

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender.

It was my first time staring up at stars from that angle.
29 of them, I counted.

Those sweet nothings you whispered.

Oh, then there was


On an unrelated note,

It was the 3 of us. We just lacked you, baby Flo. Then it'll be the 4 of us. Cuz I see that we have all your favourite stuffs on the table ;-P

I can't wait :-)

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend.

You make me wanna do all the stupid things with you.
You make me say all the stupid things I thought I'd never say.

Stupid boy.

When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down.

— The Fray

Monday, January 04, 2010

You spin my head right round, right round.

To my not so secret lover,

See, this is another post for you, so that you can't be complaining anymore. I'm sorry I haven't been online for the past few days and we didn't manage to catch up on each other. We're in different time zones and you'll only be online when I'm asleep. But I want you to know, it ain't easy maintaining this long distance thing while you're miles away, and despite the horrible fact that you are only returning somewhere in May. Feels like you've been gone forever :(

Stupid boy, enjoying life over there... travelling around California and Los Angeles - without me. I hate you. Oh, and yes, I hate you for saying all those mean things too. But as you said, it's pretty much a love hate thing :P

A very belated Happy New Years to you, love

Only you would understand this picture - J will always stick with K

P/S. Come online! There's something I need to tell you about!


Love, hime.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better.

- but I want you to move on, so I'm already gone.

今天突然间收到你的简讯. 看完简讯的我有种莫名的难过, 心也莫名的痛. 眼睛也无意间红了. 很简单的简讯, 却让我觉得自己如此的坏, 连自己也开始讨厌这样的自己了. 那是一封再也简单不过的简讯. 只是告诉我说东西收到了, 还有叫我晚上出去小心, 喝水之类的. 分手后的你, 还会记得我讨厌的东西, 我喜欢的东西, 我的习惯等等.

明明知道现在的你一定不好受, 也不好过, 我却什么都做不了. 因为一切都是因为我的任性...我的自私. 再说多几句对不起也应该没有意思吧? 这种心情我又怎会不了解... 这样的你让我看见一年前的自己. 我真的不想,不想你变成那时的我.

我自己却无意间扮演着的角色. 同样的无情, 同样的残忍. 狠狠的, 不顾一切的把一颗心碎了. 却比任何人更不好过...什么也说不了, 能说的只有那句亏欠的「对不起」.

我们, 还能坦然的面对对方吗? 我, 还能给你我们当初认识时的那个微笑吗? 而你,还能让我看见我们当初认识时的单纯吗?我也不懂了.对不起,只能陪你走那一小段的路.路,总是要分,总是要到做选择的时候.不适合一起走下去的路,只好各自往下走.

谢谢你的温柔,谢谢你的包容,谢谢你的体谅,谢谢你的疼爱.为我做的一切,我都会记得.最近,喜欢上你最喜欢的萧敬腾的「新不了情」, 真的很好听.以前都觉得没有什么特别.你应该很开心吧?我终于会欣赏他的歌了哈哈...

或许,一句 「不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有」 应该最适合现在的我们吧.


Saturday, January 02, 2010

You and I could write a bad romance.

Almost a year ago, I was sitting in Starbucks @Gardens till a very old grandmother came up to me. She was so frail and spoke in a very faint voice, asking if I could spare her some money cuz she haven't ate for ages. So I fished out a RM 5 note and gave it to her. She told me it wouldn't be enough to get food. I figured she kinda made sense and gave her a RM 10 note instead.

The moment I passed her the money, she fled off, literally. I think if she wanted, she could even run faster than me.

Through the entire year, I've seen her walking around tables (usually around places like Delicious or Starbucks) AND coming over to my table where I was sitting, asking for money with the same excuse. Flo herself almost got conned. I think this happened for about....three times?

Last week, I was waiting for the bus with the Cousin behind Orchard Road. I thought I saw a very familiar face staring at us. When I was about to tell the Cousin that I saw a familiar face, that familiar face came over to the both of us and said in Chinese, "Could you spare popo some money to take the bus? Popo is very hungry, no money to take bus..."

I swear it was her.

From Malaysia to Singapore? She must be rich from all those con jobs, and definitely not hungry.

Friday, January 01, 2010

When love comes it knocks you down.

First post of the year! Was hanging around with some friends near Sunway for New Year's. Didn't get to see the fireworks this year cuz we were indoors. Oh well. Dramatic night. Fights and road blocks everywhere.

Julzzzz :D

Clement :)

Daniel, Brandy, Nick

Sun, Brandy, Julz

Na pet. Haha I somehow like this candid picture.

My Ahmad!

It just got better when my phone rang and just to see that it was you calling. That was my New Year's Eve. How was yours? Definitely hope that it was equally as great as mine :-)