Friday, January 06, 2012

Better in time.

I guess I deserved what I brought upon myself. All of it. You were definitely a real asshole to have done what you have done. But all in all, I guess I really deserved it. I have never been that scared and alone before. Really. Probably the longest, darkest walk in my life. I'm sure you'd know best at how chicken I can be. But I guess you don't really care the slightest bit anymore. That was when I learnt how heartless and cruel a person could be. Even a person who've once loved you with all that he/she is.

Time. Yeah, time would make everything better. I wouldn't know. But I surely hope it will.

It took me some time to digest it. The fact that how someone could treat another as such. Maybe the hatred is just too deep for them to be able to do that. And I understand. I'm quite hopeless, am I not? People tell me you were a real asshole. But all I could do was smile and shrugged it away, not being able to be mad at you.

I'm mad at myself sometimes though, at how useless I could be, the mere fact that I can't even be angry. It's also sad and pathetic, that there wasn't a single bit of self respect left in me. Maybe I thought that it didn't matter. Or maybe, we all just lost it somehow along the way without us even knowing.

But dear my once upon a time love, nothing is impossible. You always say it's impossible and whatnot, defying everything possible. How could you see any possibilities when you've already blinded yourself with the word impossible? You probably think I'm talking nonsense again. But do give it a thought when you're finally willing to.

Sometimes, I wonder how people could induce themselves into forgetting things. The memories, they haunt me everyday and everywhere. There's shadows of us everywhere I go. Even to the smallest corner, I see your face. I wonder if it's the same for you. Just wondering. Cuz it impresses me how you can wipe everything off your memory as if it's never happened. I admit it kills me inside, but what can I do but to mentally erase those images?

730 days of memory gone from your head just like that.

Take care. Till whenever.

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