Sunday, March 14, 2010

You would never ask me why my heart is so disguised.

I don't know how to put all these into words. Or rather, I'm too lazy to even try to voice them out anymore.

I wished I couldn't be bothered. But on the bright side, it isn't bothering me that much anymore.

This is so pathetic. That I have to suit myself to this. Just so that I would feel better. This is insane.

But if I don't, I think I'll eventually drive myself crazy.

I want, I need and I wish. But they're never heard nor understood. So what's the point? I guess, that's the reason why my days are screwed.

If I turn left, I'll be in the wrong. And if I turn right, I'll be the one at fault. The judgment has already been made before the trial anyway. So what am I to do?

Master the skill, a friend said. It's not that I can't... I just don't want to. Cuz I'm still holding on. To what, I don't know. To you I guess.

Reverting back to my old ways? I can't wait. Don't blame me when it gets bad, cuz I've really tried. I've tried so hard in fact, to stay, to keep and to believe. But you didn't give me the faith I needed to.

I'm fading slowly, losing the bit of faith I thought I've finally found. Cuz you haven't been there to catch me when I was falling. And left me dwelling in the darkness in solitude. The solitude is eerie, when I was supposed to have a Someone. You took the light away.

Like a fish in the water. The water never bothers about the fish anyway. It was always the fish who needed water. Cuz it'll die without water. But the water... it would do just fine.

Cuz it never needed the fish after all.

Hey, take a look at me now. Had you ever wondered at all, what I really wanted or what I really needed? Take a minute and think about this - think about me, for once. I'm sorry I can't be the way that you liked me to be. And I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I never was.

Sigh. Why am I talking about this? It will never be understood anyway. Oh, stupid me.

I wished I had a car right now. Then I could drive to the beach alone. And maybe I could find some peace there, just maybe.

And disappear for a bit.

This feeling is so horrible that it's eating me inside.

常缠在一起 会换来危机
他找你, 不找你, 你竟幼稚到讲道理
原来拥吻如不放, 错在你

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