And big girls don't cry.

I wished I could be like Barney.



You know what?

I think the destination can wait.

The destination's too great a place.

But there's too many obstacles.

Obstacles I could never speak of, obstacles I've long foreseen.

With villains I can never battle over.

Villains who seem like heroes.

Why is the road so bumpy?

So bumpy that sometimes,

I feel like getting off the ride.

Thus giving up the destination which is so beautiful indeed.

This time, I'm resolute.

*

No, they'll never understand - they never will. They think you like it. They think you want it. They think you think it's simple. And all they do is to look at you in such a way that you feel so powerless.

You know what?

Fuck them all.

Wait till I'm in UK. I don't care if I have to work my ass off for it.

I swear I'll get one myself. I fucking hell swear I will.

Watch me.

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry.

I realised, that in this whirlpool of emotions

I've lost myself momentarily.

Just to realise again,
That this shouldn't be the path I'm walking.

My destination is waiting.
So why should I still linger around,
in this illusion you've conjured out of nothingness?

Cuz I know in the end, that nothing would change anything.
And it's the present which matters most to me,
At least now it does.

It's just that,
We tend to stray offtrack once in a while.
So please bear with me while I pick up pace.

Cuz the cookies outside the jar always seem like they taste better.

*

还是回到了原点,
除了沉默我还能说点什么，能让我们好过一点？
别对我抱歉，别总觉得对我亏欠
就算感情还在，
无奈你我什么也做不了．

直到我们都能若无其事聊起了从前
我才发现彼此都了解，
那不曾说过的心动．

那么美丽的遗憾，
有几个能拥有？
却有些甜蜜，让伤心被允许．

但我又为何发现
在脑内剩余纪念，已刚刚足够跟我纠缠．

我们，终究还是无法坦然的面对对方．
害怕坦诚，
不是因为爱说谎．
只是怕
坦诚会再次的把我们拉回一年前
那身不由己的位置．

又何必呢？

*

Sometimes, I'm really afraid
That I'm too busy trying to catch the butterfly,
With both my hands full,
And not realise that

I've lost all I've held in my arms.

And it'll be too late already.

This free fall's got me.

You confuse me.

As much as I want to say,

"Cuz you know I'll always be around for you,"

You confuse me.

If we ever meet again.

With my huge box of Kinder Bueno on a night like this, in front of the laptop on MSN. Can't help but to get reminded of those days.

Oh, what a random night when random thoughts penetrate through my vulnerable mind like this. Too random actually.

I believe that it's just the effect of the chocolates. It's been too long since I've had any.

*

Now that my thoughts have wandered, I can't resist the temptation of penning these fluctuating emotions down.

我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深
叫我怎么能收手.

渐渐模糊的过去,
却如此的清晰.
那么美丽的遗憾,
却让我禁不起想哭泣.

那时你告诉我说,
还会想.
让我措手不及,
感觉像挽回了那么一点什么.

你说, 「有些事情, 时间是改变不了」
对彼此的感觉,不会给时间剥夺掉
我知道, 我当然知道
可是我也很害怕
只要你一声,
我会选择放弃现在好不容易拥有的一切.

只是我的執著依然執著
只怪当时的我无法握紧仅有的一丝拥有
还是
怪你当时选择放手,
坚信那只是你一时的多情?

如果当初在交会时能忍住了激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会在思念里沉沦.

可是到最后,
你还是会回到她身边.
说到底, 我只是你的求救专线.

那, 另一个她呢?
说真的, 我真的很在乎.
可是, 我又有什么资格去介意.

亲爱的你, 蓝色的你,
你知道我在想你吗?
天天见面, 距离却那么遥远.

你知道我会有多难过,
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油.
我知道你还是放不下我
所以才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头.

当对的人等不到对的时间
唯一能做的,
除了放手,毕竟还是放手.

只是很抱歉,

释怀, 我做不到.

Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go.

Finally, I have the time to settle down and blog for a bit. Have been crazily busy through the entire week. The first half of the week, I've been rushing like a mad cow to complete my assignments before Thursday.

Oh, speaking about Thursday... that was a black hole in my life which I wish to censor off very very much. It's pretty much censored in my head but I'd prefer it if it were censored off everyone else's heads too. Put me on an alcohol ban, seriously. (Okay, I kinda broke it the next night already).

Note to Secret Lover, don't ever think of the 7 tequila shots. I'll die.

So things got better on when Friday came. (I thought I was about to die the morning I woke up and almost puked at literally anything). Friday night was Law Ball!

Our theme was Heaven & Hell. Quite obvious where I fall under, but somehow... I ended up sitting over at Heaven. Must be fate :D

Pictures pictures! (Again, the rest of the pictures will be on Facebook).

Pei Ling & I



With the boys :)



Tangkap basah! *inside joke*



With J :)



Us three!
So much for the hard work with those gargoyles (which were later named Ah Boy, for some reason).



The controversial picture (and our secret evil bitchy plan) tsk tsk



Delia looks so cute here!



Clementttt!!!



My beloved partner throughout Year 1 and Year 2.



Us being very vain in the washroom x)



Asshole. I so remember which pose came next.
*throws a whole bunch of profanities*



Joey & Maxine



With J, again :)



Adelin, forever being late.

I'm too lazy to upload pictures to Blogger already, so I think this shall suffice for my blog post :P

Enjoyed myself very, very much all through Friday till Sunday. And those two nights I had, I love em. Let's hope there'll be more of nights like that ♥ ♥ ♥

And Saturday afternoon, it was lunch with the Cousin. She was queen of the day, but just for one day. That one day when we choose not to bully her (haha!)

The Cousin and her very beloved balloons (which were often stolen by us without her knowing).

Haha I remember a kid was dashing towards her trying to get her balloons! Hahaha x)

Yes, she made it a must for me to come with a Hello Kitty and Elmo balloon on her birthday despite the fact that I have long given her her birthday present. And that rule had been made a month before her birthday even came. Hahaha that's my very cute and very lame Cousin.

Hope you enjoyed your birthday babe. Lovesss.

Okay, end of update. Hopefully this compensates for the recent lack of update. And please, do not bother asking what happened on Thursday night. I'd very much choose to have a selective loss of memory. Thank you.

2 to the 0.

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. Have been busy... with erm... emo stuffs, happy stuffs, and... rather embarrassing stuffs. So yea. Promise there will be more updates soon. Real soon. Just dropping by for a bit to do this:

Happy Birthday, Dear Cousin!! ♥ ♥ ♥



Welcome to the club :)
And hope you have a blast tonight heheh.

Love you <3

P/S Sorry we were late for lunch today :(:(

最初充滿期待, 最后都腐败.

匿名的朋友, 蓝色的你 :)

不能握的手, 从此匿名的朋友
其实我的執著依然執著
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的温柔... 最温柔.

如果说为什么我还那么執著, 我也只能笑着说,
「我不懂. 或许, 得不到的是最好的吧. 」

I'm addicted to you, don't you know you're toxic?

What's better than this to make your morning :)



♥ ♥ ♥

When I love you a little less than before.

we're running to the fire when there's nothing left to save.

How come my efforts were never good enough?

I've tried so hard.

It scares me, really.

When I can never be your best.



It hurts.

When I've tried so hard and

everything just seems like I've never tried

and being misunderstood.

I'm too sick of explaining myself already.

So let me put it this way,

I'm never good enough.

No I'm not.

*

互相伤害, 我们之间... 只能剩下这个吗?
我们...到底是几时失去了刚开始时的了解?
然而
我们又怎样
从了解变成厌烦?

I'm sorry it's been this sickening.

*

it's like chasing the very last train when we both know
it's too late.

Watch me, I'm intoxicated.

I liked today. Let's keep it on repeat.

When you walked in just like that, when I least expected it :)

*



Yeah baby. I can't wait for Thursday.

Then we'll all be on a roll.

So much for being deprived due to assignments.

我不要一直到形同陌路变成自找
既然可以拥抱就不要轻易放掉

Someone's officially legal.

Happy Birthday Ang Pei Ling!!



(Ignore the weird head popping on the top left of the picture)

Someone's getting older (when she looks the youngest among us) :P

Can't wait to see your face when you enter the casino flashing your I/C

We'll have a blast this week, I'm sure we will.

After we're done with rushing our assignment that is :D

We'll party before exams come, and immediately after assignments.

Let's take it as compensation for all the stressed days :D

Have a blast :)

xx

But me and you were meant to be together.

Have you ever fell asleep during a movie in a cinema? Cuz I did.

Well, I don't think I would fall under the category of those who'd fall asleep during a movie, but I did actually fall asleep in 4 movies. Just 4 only. Cuz usually, I'd just continue watching regardless how shitty the movie is.

(Note: Shitty here is a very subjective thing.)

• King Kong
• The Chronicles of Narnia
• Lord of The Rings

Seriously, these were the very rare movies where I'd watch halfway and dozed off. They were all produced by the same producer - Jonathan King. (Yea, I don't usually remember producer names but seriously, I'd blacklist him from now on).

So last night, I ended up watching his latest production - Under the Mountain. To cut things short, this movie was composed of a very lame storyline (twinness wtf), very dramatic background music and an overdose of New Zealand scenery (Actually just Auckland). Yes, the movie was filmed in New Zealand. Not that I mind but, it was just... bad.

Yeap, you guessed it. I fell asleep. I fell asleep after the first 15 minutes and woke up just in time to watch the last 5 minutes, waking up occasionally to find out what happened. Okay I lied, it was cuz the noise was too loud and it just woke me up.

It's bad I tell you, it's bad. Blame my bad taste or whatever, it's just bad. But seriously, this director, he's really got something. His movies never fail to make me fall asleep. I'm sorry if some people might feel offended if they were great fans of King Kong or if I have offended the producers in any way, but heck, it's my blog. Sue me.

Ooh, Law Ball is this week! I can't wait. But shit, I haven't found my dress yet :(

And just so there are those who are wondering or waiting for pictures, NO I DID NOT GO FOR HENNESSY ARTISTRY. Due to my own personal reasons, I gave up the invite instead :)

I'm sure I'll have a blast (hopefully) next week too :3

No, you don't know what it's like to be like me.

Welcome to my life.

Fuck the strong part, I'm on the verge of breaking into tears right now.

I wish I had a car. I fucking wish I had a car.


I fucking wish I have a fucking car.


Cuz if I did,

I would not be this fucked.

I don't know where to start but to show you the shape of my heart.

How sweet of Patrick :)

Too bad, there's not many Spongebobs and Patricks in this world - or at least, I haven't met any.

*

Today was such a tiring, but rather productive day. Helped out with the decorations and props needed for Law Ball coming up next Friday. It was all about paper marche, Art Attack, gossips and Delia's very cold room. It felt like a trip, where you'd spend a long long time with your classmates without worrying that you'll be late for class - and for once, doing something we enjoy :)

Ah, now for legal debate....

Hold me now, don't bother if every minute makes me weaker.

Yes, definitely.

Why so? It is Tuesday night and I have 8 articles waiting for me to rape read them. Got to be done preparing for my legal debate this coming Saturday morning by Thursday night. And now, I'm even having second thoughts on Hennessy Artistry. (Oh yeah, the first Hennessy event will be this Friday night @Opera).

But, if I do try my best to complete my preparations, I will be able to make it. But the thing is, the debate is on the next morning itself. FML. Imagine walking into the debate still intoxicated. I don't think there's even a need for a script by that time haha!

But, but... it's Hennessy Artistry :(

Sigh. My life is constantly filled with dilemmas. Oh, and then there's Law Ball. FML x2

On a brighter note, here's something pretty funny which I found. Let's hope no kids read my blog, or rather - this post teehee :)

Hahaha fucking funny! Oops.

It is a very versatile word indeed, suitable to be used at any situations hahaha wtf. And you must really watch this! It's funny, really. Especially from 1:20 haha. There was another one which I've seen before on Facebook where it was an Indian teacher teaching his students about the word haha x)

I'm a very good girl, really. Trust me ;p

Oh, oh! And I have tumblr! Okay, I admit, I've had it for quite some time already. Just that I was confused on how to use it in the beginning. And now that I've (kinda) figured out the way it works, I'm proud to announce that - I can has tumblr! :D

www.princesskamen.tumblr.com

Sigh. Better start on reading. But my eyes are drooping alreadyyyyyy. Help, anyone? :((

I wished.

; Too bad wishes never come true,
for me at least.

You would never ask me why my heart is so disguised.

I don't know how to put all these into words. Or rather, I'm too lazy to even try to voice them out anymore.

I wished I couldn't be bothered. But on the bright side, it isn't bothering me that much anymore.

This is so pathetic. That I have to suit myself to this. Just so that I would feel better. This is insane.

But if I don't, I think I'll eventually drive myself crazy.

I want, I need and I wish. But they're never heard nor understood. So what's the point? I guess, that's the reason why my days are screwed.

If I turn left, I'll be in the wrong. And if I turn right, I'll be the one at fault. The judgment has already been made before the trial anyway. So what am I to do?

Master the skill, a friend said. It's not that I can't... I just don't want to. Cuz I'm still holding on. To what, I don't know. To you I guess.

Reverting back to my old ways? I can't wait. Don't blame me when it gets bad, cuz I've really tried. I've tried so hard in fact, to stay, to keep and to believe. But you didn't give me the faith I needed to.

I'm fading slowly, losing the bit of faith I thought I've finally found. Cuz you haven't been there to catch me when I was falling. And left me dwelling in the darkness in solitude. The solitude is eerie, when I was supposed to have a Someone. You took the light away.

Like a fish in the water. The water never bothers about the fish anyway. It was always the fish who needed water. Cuz it'll die without water. But the water... it would do just fine.

Cuz it never needed the fish after all.

Hey, take a look at me now. Had you ever wondered at all, what I really wanted or what I really needed? Take a minute and think about this - think about me, for once. I'm sorry I can't be the way that you liked me to be. And I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I never was.

Sigh. Why am I talking about this? It will never be understood anyway. Oh, stupid me.

I wished I had a car right now. Then I could drive to the beach alone. And maybe I could find some peace there, just maybe.


And disappear for a bit.


This feeling is so horrible that it's eating me inside.

常缠在一起 会换来危机
他找你, 不找你, 你竟幼稚到讲道理
男人总轻视你寸步难离
原来拥吻如不放, 错在你

I've become so numb I can't feel you there.

- How I Met Your Mother

Then what am I? Sigh, this is depressing :(

Every step that I take is another mistake to you.

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.

Sometimes, you can't really blame us. Blame the 8am classes. Thank god they're bringing it to some other day, some other time. I'm so glad they did.

We all look pretty lifeless in class. Mind you, it was 8am.

Look, Pei Ling (along with Dave) took this when I was... let's just put it this way, giving my eyes some rest. Therefore, the both o them weren't being attentive. Then there's Jamie who's busy texting. And that's Jo-Shua behind most probably dozing off with his face down. There's Maxine in front of me, being busy with her face. And lastly, there's J who just woke up from giving his eyes some rest and is trying very hard to be attentive.

(If you're wondering where Mia is, she's still at home hahaha)

Conclusion: Nobody is actually successful in being attentive during a Company law class.

And sometimes, it really leads to very stoned conversations. For some reasons, J was constantly talking about cherries for almost 2 weeks already. Somehow, during class, it came to a point where this conversation took place. He randomly brought up this question,

Why must it be cherries? If it's popping cherries for girls then what is it for guys? Peeling bananas?

I was completely wtf-ed. Pawned (lol). But figured it kinda made a bit of sense. Yes, this is what Company class does to us.

Oh, but it's a completely different story after class.

Lunch at Garden @Curve :)

Very much awake.



Haha so cute!



The woman playing with my huge shades.



Hahaha!

Apparently her hair grew slightly longer. Please do not cut it anymore.

I'm so hungry. Does anyone have food? :(

虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过,
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油.

Now the party don't start till I walk in.

So, when's the next party babes? I think I need one.

In the picture: Pei Ling & the Cousin.
Credit: the Cousin (whose head got unfortunately cut off in this picture)

Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light.

Something is wrong with me recently. I've been sleeping at 12am recently on a daily basis (or as the Cousin puts it - pass out wtf) and still feel very tired.

And this, is how I've been feeling everyday when I wake up recently.

I need to stay home more often. Hmmmmm.

I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist.

I was looking at my old folders last year and saw this ♥ ♥



There, for those wondering who the Secret Lover or J is.

No, the blue striped sleeves weren't intentional -__________-

Very random, I know. Eh you look chubby here! Hahahahaha shit. I think you're so gonna make noise about this haha. Hey love, we definitely need more of these - where we both don't look so dead :D

I know your type,
boy you're dangerous
Yeah you're that guy I'd be stupid to trust.

I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist.

Come home, and I'd love to see you tryna make the good girls go bad.

But we always know who's no.1, don't we? ♥

Take me to New York, I'd like to see L.A.

- you'll be my American boy, American boy.

I think the title of this post rocks haha. Garden City, New York ♥ ♥

I think I need to settle down. I don't know.

You know, when it comes to a point in life when everything is plain screwed up and it just hits you so suddenly that you need to settle down, in every aspect possible. If you ask me what in my life is screwed up, I think I'll most probably reply you "everything" and have no idea what is. The feeling itself is screwed up - the feeling when you know that everything is screwed and yet you don't know what is.

The final assignment is coming, and I have no idea where to start from. Exams are coming in 11 weeks' time and I have barely touched the books. To make it worse, I wake up every morning feeling like P.Diddy (HAHA I find this so lame) thinking hard. No, it's noting productive. I think hard about what to do for the entire day and get home at night. Movies, singing, whatever - you name it.

It just feels... unsettled. And I feel the sudden urge to settle everything down. And of course, I do not know where to start from. Sigh. If only uni life was just about going to classes and no exams were needed. I mean, heck, you can't determine how smart or successful a person is by just those damned exam papers and grades right? This is absurd.

And relationships? Don't even go there. Meh.

I'm always busy, but with what? I don't know. This is such an annoying feeling I'd like to get rid of.

On an unrelated note, yay I'm finally watching Disney on Ice this Friday! I know, I know it's for kids but I've been wanting to go since I was a kid! So I think, it's about time for my dream as a kid to come true - just that it's 10 years later.

Oh, and that's Pei Ling and I :D

Sorry, thought the post was boring and plain with just words so I decided to post a picture of us. Okay, I admit. It was just an excuse to post my own face up the blog :(

Playing house in the ruins of us.

- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother.

But that person, he/she never exists.

Oh the harsh reality.

We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight.

Hah. Whatever.

Have I told you that it's like wishing for the moon? Oh yes indeed.

谁谋杀了我的浪漫?
Who killed the hopeless romantic in me?

幸福没有那么容易
才会特别让人着迷.

可是幸福,
我不曾认识过.

So baby don't worry, you are my only.

Saw this on tumblr :)

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.

Yours truly.

Oceans apart day after day, and we'll slowly go insane.

So it was Mia's belated birthday celebration in Maison last night! Had another girls' night out, this time with Shryne and YinYin also :D

Huhu someone is finally 21 teehee. We're all turning old soon, sigh.

All of us :D

Yeap, all the ladies in black!



I have no idea why we were doing this. Blame the alcohol.



Mia, Pei Ling & the Cousin.



With Shryne!

♥ ♥ ♥

Cheater face, act innocent :P



Once again, I choose to blame the shots :P



Evacuate the dancefloor~♪



With Pei Ling, Cousin and Mia :3

The rest of the pictures (and trust me, there are a hell lot of them) will be uploaded on Facebook soon :)

Oh, and I've finally caught Alice In Wonderland in 3D. The anticipation is over. Off with their headsssss!! Hahaha this is so annoying. I think the people around me gotta put up with this line for some time. Cuz I think I'm kinda stuck to using that line now wtf.

Now that it's time to sleep. Good night world :)

I want nobody, nobody but you.

A very sad day where we had to pay our last respects to our beloved lecturer. Honestly speaking, I still can't accept the fact that he left us :(

So, I woke up early morning wondering what to wear to make sure that my attire was appropriate to attend the funeral. Trust me, I have been thinking about this matter since the day before already. Cuz I was worried that it would be disrespectful or inappropriate.

So I resorted to this: Forcing (kinda) the Secret Lover to convince me that I look fine before going out.

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Poor boy.

I pity him sometimes. Cuz it definitely ain't the first time I've resorted to that. And trust me, I ask lots of weird questions which are usually very contradictory.

Well, too bad he's the Secret Lover :3

あいたいよ ♥

Tap on my window, knock on my door, I wanna make you feel beautiful.

I think I'm starting to take a liking to Wings Cafe.
It's pretty much a nice place to chill with friends over some drinks, with the singer singing any song you want.
Just makes me feel very comfortable there that I think I can sit there whole night with my bestest friends (and this includes the infamous Cousin of course) :D
Occasionally thinking very hard which song I wanna hear.

Bliss :)

P/S. Dear Secret Lover, sadly though, it ain't a place for you and I - just you and I alone. Cuz we belong to a place, with very loud music as we cucuk langit after being intoxicated with alcohol in the system and maybe some poison - our poison, you always liked to call it. When it's just the both of us. Our very public affair ♥ ♥

You'll be dearly missed, forever.

You were the most awesome lecturer us Year 2 students could ever have.
You were the bestest friend we could ever find in a lecturer.

Now that you left, who would be there to be the chairman of our CFC (Completely Effed Club)?
Now that you left, it feels so weird not attending classes... when it is such a norm for people like us.
Now that you left, who would be walking into our lecture hall with a cup of coffee, with the backpack you've always said you wanted to change?
Now that you left, who would be there to make us very anxious for the "hallelujah" you always said - which signifies the dismissal of classes?
Now that you left, who else would make us bribe just to pass our exams?

How can this be true, when I just saw you joking around with us earlier this morning? Till now, I still can't believe that it would be the last I would have seen of you, Sir.

I'm so sorry that I was never a good student. But Sir, I'm sure you'll be proud of this and will be very surprised. I completed my assignments two weeks ago, without a single bit of hesitation. I'm not the black sheep after all :)

I promise, if this was all a joke, I'd attend every class of yours without missing a single one - ever.

May you Rest in Peace sir, our very beloved Tort & Land Law lecturer - Mr. Anandth. We will definitely miss you, and all the jokes you made in class, and how great of a lecturer you were to all of us students.


Love, Year 2 2010.