We would still have us, I'd still have my love.

まタ日本語だね。どうシヨウ？「火と遊ブのは危なイ」っていつマデも言われるケド、人間は危険の方ニハ興味が深マルでしょウ？何でダなぁ・・・

火が自分を焼けてシマッタまで、自分が壊スまで、全部が崩シテしまったマデ、遊ぶが続ける。続けるしかできナイ、誘惑ガ。

でも、全部を賭ケテ、そして、抱っていたモノを全部失っタ時・・・私には何が残りマスか？それダケ知りたイ。最後の勝利はきっト、私の物ジャナイ。最初カラ最後まで私は負け者のロールをしてるダケだ。だから・・・だカら・・・だかラ、そばにイテ、いつマデも。ワガママなけれど、お願い。

こノ罪悪感の中に溺れてシマって、死ニソウな感じ。お願イ、そばにイテね・・・死ぬカモ知れないから。

Exams are just around the corner. And I'm no where near completion. Boo.

So let's just pretend and make wishes out of airplanes.

もう長い間日本語でブログを書かなかったね、何となく。久しぶりな感じだなぁぁ～書くのもちょっと変な感じがする。慣れないかなぁ・・・まあ。やっぱり、日本語の方が好き ♥

読めナイ表情、素直ナ笑顔。

実は、何を考えテルの、私。何が欲シイの？何がシタイの？本当に知らナイなぁ、質問イッパイばかり。全部頭の中に溢レテる。困るなぁ。君の顔が全然頭カラ消セナい、一生懸命消シタイのに、消セナい。好キとは言えナイけど、モチロン恋とも言えナイし。じゃ、私達いっタイ何だろウ？

死にソウな苦シミ、首が絞メられタ様に、呼吸デキない。この罪悪感を持ツままに毎日を過ゴシテいた最低ナ私。これカラどう進メルの？

コノ複雑スギタ関係・・・もう考えたクナイ。
そのままでイイ。

罰が当タル前までに、そのままでイイから。

*

Do you know what's worth fighting for, when it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?

When you're at the end of the road and you lost all sense of control,
And your thoughts have taken their toll,
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul.

Your faith walks on broken glass,
And the hangover doesn't pass.

Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins.

You're a rockstar, everybody wants you.

Sorry again, for the lack of updates recently. I'm just too lazy for the past few days. So recap of what I have been up to for the past few days (not in order)!

This is effing awesome!

Pork noodles in Subang. How did I not discover this back then during my Taylors days?? Very much awesome bowl of noodles, I swear. But we had to wait for 35 minutes before we managed to eat. So do be prepared for the wait if you wanna try :)

Chau tut



Apparently, they haven't been playing foosball for 9 months already haha.



The boys.



Haha I like this picture very much lol.



I have no idea why we both look so dead in this picture. Must be the flash :/

And my fav picture?

Gotta be this :P

Apparently, I was asked to be creative in photo taking. So yeah :/

Ah, how fun life would be if it wasn't for exams. Then I could come out more often without that pang of guilt in me :(

Just wait. Till exams are over. It'll just be party, party and maybe more party. And lotsa fun, that's for sure :D

I can't wait.

If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart, told you from the start.

I'm only gonna break break your,
break break your heart.

Sounds like somebody huh :P

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky

are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now.

Maybe it's true that I can't live without you.

Just don't give up, please don't give in,
I won't let you down.

There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try but I think

You can save my life.

- Whataya Want From me by Adam Lambert

No way you're never gonna shake me.

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me.
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go.

I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go.

I will be, all that you want and get myself together
Cuz you keep me from falling apart.
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay.

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly.
You're the one thing I got right,
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me.

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around
Cuz I would never let you go.

Without you, I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave.
You're all I got, you're all I want
Cuz without you I don't know what I'd do.
I can never ever live a day without you here with me
Do you see you're all I need?

Cuz you'll always be my baby.

And if I ask nice can I take you home with me?

Sorry for the long delay in updates. Have been busy for the past few days. Or rather, I was just out for the past few days and passing out pretty much early during the night haha. So, updates!

Finally partied with the Secret Lover (yes he's home) last night, and it was an insane night. It had been ages ago since I was last this tipsy and it had been too long since I've actually enjoyed myself in a party (considering my past two failed partying experiences). Really had fun big time. And of course, there was the Secret Lover too :D

Took pictures like there was no tomorrow and therefore, all could be found in Facebook. Here's just a small extract (wtf) from the album haha. What to do, vainpots and camwhores :P

Heh. In the car :)



I was bored and I wanted to annoy him :D



Picked Pei Ling up and headed to Bangsar for yam char to wait for time to pass.



Too busy to layan us.

That gave us more reasons to camwhore heheh. Then, we headed over to Maison close to 11pm. I swear, the nonsense that I had to put up with in the car :P

Loser shit.



Mata sepet.

The thing bout him is, he can never take the flash. His eyes literally squints (or sometimes it closes) when the shutter is pressed. Noob.

Oscar!



Somehow Pei Ling enjoys it when he annoys me wtf T__________T



Erm, can intoxication be an explanation to this?



Jon kacau gila.



See what I mean? :P



I love his tee. Some funny shit haha.



With the guys :)



:D



In the car, with smudged make up and ugly hair.

You are not alone wtf. MJ after so long (inside joke) And so that was my night. With a bad headache the next day :(

I can't wait for exams to be over. Seriously.

Ah, and they played Nothing On You :D

Hey baby that's me, I'll be on the dancefloor.

And now guess who's home ;-)

♥ ♥ ♥

Now for my souvenirs. Hmmm...

*

Okay I admit. This is a cheating blog post haha. I'm just too hungry to think of what to type right now. (Apparently I'm always hungry). Besides, nothing much have really been happening recently. Class is getting emptier and emptier everyday and the days are getting more and more stressed out. Well, it actually depends on which lecture I guess. There was a lecture when only about 20 out of 120 students attended. Poor thing. But then again, he speaks in such an annoying tone...

Sigh. Shows just how monotonous my life had been for the past few days.

In dire need to party. Just a night will do.

Good company. Good music. Booze.
Ah... sweet sweet temptations.

来不及闪躲, 我却为他坠落.

真心换来的是谎言,
付出换来的是伤害,
难怪我的真心一直被糟蹋,
而我的付出换来的只是更深的伤害.

可是爱,
连慈悲也没多慈悲,
谁爱越深越容易被牺牲.

最初我是你的宝贝, 最后我是你的负累.
最初充满期待, 最后都腐败.

是你把我推开, 管我身后是悬崖
你说的爱是再度伤害
可是孤独比爱真实, 要怎么掩饰?
你说对不起听来太讽刺.

话总说不清楚, 该怎么明了?
久帐总翻不完, 谁无理取闹?
面对爱情, 我是不是该用时间收拾破碎?
可是我又该从哪里开始?

早知道是这样, 如梦一场
我又何必把泪都锁在自己的眼眶?

可是如果是梦一场
醒来时, 伤口都会痊愈
那该有多好.

相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句

傻瓜.

才看见我有多狼狈.

You'll always be a part of me, I'm a part of you indefinitely.

On a Tuesday noon, when I'm alone at home with no plans of going out, I should have been studying my ass off and burying my head into a random law textbook. But well, you know how things often turn out in a completely different way you thought it would be? Yeah, it happens.

And it happens to me all the time. Like this.

Yes, I ended up playing MSN games. Something ChingMun and I used to do very often when we're bored at night. Speaking of CM, I hate playing games with her. She's the one woman who I'll lose to no matter what game we play, since high school. Damn.

So when I was suppose to be studying and when the Secret Lover was suppose to be packing... heheh. Minesweeper is a stupid game to play cuz apparently it involves math. And that's what I suck at. So I decided to play a much simpler game.

Yea, that.

Well, I didn't win :(



So I thought I would win a game of Hexic.

Well, that was what I thought. Till his score zoomed sky high out of nowhere.

Hoho. Then I discovered something he isn't good at.

I love Sudoku. I used to play it everyday a while ago. Talk about lifeless (My lifelessness is a completely different story altogether).

Sigh. The things I resort to just to avoid studying. And now I'm here blogging just to buy myself time from studying. This is sad. My stomach is growling and I'm home alone with no food. Damn. This sucks.

And the worst thing is, post exams plans are playing in my head already. JY the rich bitch (inside joke) wants to go to Japan and Taiwan, the Secret Lover suggested Taiwan too , then the plan with the babes to Vietnam. And my trip to Penang to Flo baby? That's a must.

Sigh. Too many plans, too little cash. If only the sky would rain cash one day. What if I promise I won't be greedy? I'll just make sure I collect enough cash for all these places. HAHA.

And my feet, they're dying to dance.

可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流

Darling cuz you'll always be my baby.

It's at times like this when I wished I had powers like

Disapparating from Harry Potter or the "Anywhere Door" from Doraemon

Or simply a cab to KLIA with a bundle of cash.

So that I can buy a one way to NYC.

Caught me every time I fall.

You've never failed in doing that, haven't you?

Even when it wasn't intentional.

Seriously, it scares me how well you know me love.

*

But then again, if I were to fly there right now, it'll be very much pointless cuz you'll be boarding the flight home the day after I reach wtf. And you'll most probably tell me I'm too fat to fit into your luggage anyway, knowing you -_______-

But I'm really grateful to have you. I didn't have to say anything and you'd know. Despite the hangover you're having right now haha. And yay to our escape plan! Am liking the way it sounds :D

Thank you love, for always knowing how. Looking forward to your homecoming, in approximately 3 days :)

I'll resort to my pillow for now. Haha stupid joke.

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow.

Sometimes, I really wished I could disappear.

Like, literally be gone for a bit - anywhere.

Cuz I've been taught that

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Maybe complete disappearance might make me happier.

*

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter,
As long as I'm laughing with you.

Well, I've also been told that,

It takes two hands to clap.

You know I would die here without you.

Haha this is damn cute ♥

Am suddenly loving this song :)

Okay, I know the video caption here is a bit... off. But yeah, nice song :)

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter,
As long as I'm laughing with you.

I'm thinking that all that still matters
is love ever after.

Without you God knows what I'm gonna do,
Cuz I know that there's no life after you.

And now I know, that life doesn't always go my way.

Would silence be a better path to take?

And just let it eat me up slowly.

It'll just be as hard on me anyway.

I could be chasing but my time would be wasted.

Exams are just around the corner and I have no effing idea about Company law. Ugh. Well, except for some shareholders nonsense. Not like it will help much. Bah. And the Evidence textbook seemed slightly easier to study (cuz the words stuffed into one page are slightly lesser compared to those in other textbooks), that was the only reason why I actually decided to start studying.

Sigh. I'm so screwed. Was down with a terrible sore throat, flu and cough a week plus ago. And now, my left eye is bloody down with an allergy. Guess I'm stuck with glasses for quite a bit everyday now. Feels as if it's swollen, but it seems perfectly fine from the outside. Damn. And my mom scared the shit outta me saying its maggots. Or some weird eggs inside my eye. Very nice of her. And my dad just told me to keep sleeping.

T___________________T

FML.

Sigh. I think it's time to seek some attention again. Haha.

Oh, and my phone is officially dead. I loved it so much. And all my stuffs inside. Oh the sadness. *drama betul*

And I don't know how I can do without.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,

For me it happens all the time.



Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

Sometimes, I'm just so sick of this.

*

Am loving this song. I've been looping it since forever. And I have no idea why the Secret Lover doesn't like it at all T_______________T

I should know better but that's just not the case.

There are just times when you'd want to disappear to a place where nobody could possibly find you. And just chill, with music blasting through my earphones and a bottle of beer in hand. A free flow of whiskey would be more preferable though. Or maybe bacardi. But right now, I would settle for even beer. And possibly, by the beach with a few eye candy walking past with those six packs.

Just, plain disappear to a place where nobody knows of my existence.

And sometimes I find myself wondering just how did I get myself into this mess. When I thought I've learnt not to fall anymore. Guess I lost control with something we call a heart. Sometimes, I'm such a big mess and I have no idea how to solve it.

And that's when it starts to hurt.

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay.

I guess, there's nothing left for me to say.

Or rather, there's no point in me saying anything else.

Or feeling anything, if it matters.

你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀．

After all, it's just till September.

Till I'm gone, for good.

Good riddance.

无奈是两手相拥
也是觉得冰冻.

There's a she wolf in disguise.

Does this happen to you?

Cuz it happens to me all the time, especially when we have 8am classes. Seriously, 8am classes should be made a sin. Why can't they ever consider that?

I stay up all night doing completely nothing at all. And I'll always regret it the next day, without fail. Yet, I still continue this screwed up sleeping pattern regardless. Don't ask me why. It just... happens.

Why oh why must time pass so quickly? It's like exams are coming nearer and nearer to me. I'm feeling the stress already and doing completely nothing about it. Save me.

And last but not least,

Happy Mothers' Day

to all mothers in the world. Have a great day today, with lots of love :)

I wanna dance, I wanna dance in the light.

12 more days till you're home ♥

Love, let's not give up - not now at least.
We've held onto this belief for far too long.
Now when we're almost there,
Let's not turn back.

This bad romance, this cold heart,
A perfection so creepy that caught me off guard.
It's a habit I won't want to stop.
I'd relapse if I do.
Cuz you're my drug, and my only possible cure.

My love,
Close your eyes and we'll try working on impulse.
An impulse called spontaneity,
When we're free from all constraints.
Just you and I.

This beautiful mess,
Called our deliberate mistake,
Where nobody understands the brutal beauty in it.

Love, we just ain't gonna lose this.
Cuz a love like this,
We don't come across it all the time.

A breathtakingly beautiful scene of New York :)

谁都知双手可紧扣
不依不舍的背后

这个信念有多温柔

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

You know how Queen B (Blair Waldorf) never loses her throne?



Yeah, that. Me too.

And no replacements, like seriously.

Give me some time, I'll think of something.

P/s. I'll never settle for the faulty alarm clock :P

话总说不清楚, 该怎么明了?

- 旧帐总翻不完, 谁无理取闹?

Fell in love with this song already the first time I heard it on the radio. There are English subtitles in this video, but mind the English translations. Let's just say, they're not exactly the best translations you have around :)

背对背包拥抱 (Back to Back Hug) - JJ 林俊杰 (JJ Lin)

One of the good emo songs they still have around nowadays. It has a very sad and lonely rhythm to it, somehow. Try sparing 4 minutes and listen to it :) ♥ ♥

既然可以拥抱
就不要轻易放掉

While we can still hug
Let's not give it up so easily.

Cuz I don't wanna wait till time catches up with me,
Cuz it'll be too late by the time I turn back.

I don't wanna lose this race.
Cuz I've been told that
Nobody wins a race against Time.

So I'd steal any minute or second that I could have with you.
Cuz I'm running out of time,
And I need you with me.

因为我不想
我们的爱情来不及变老
就被葬送在风火的玩笑.

And so I surrendered just to hear your voice.

As mentioned earlier, I have been terribly sick for the past 4 days already. As in, terribly sick. It's been such a long while since I've last been sick like this. Really. It feels as if all energy has been drained out of me and my life has been sucked outta my soul. Drama much but yeah. I've been coughing my lungs out, my nose has been running a marathon and my throat is enjoying being a bitch. To add to that, I've been constantly sweating and feeling horrendously cold at the same time. Talk about annoying.

I'm so sick I can't even drag my ass out of the house. So what have I been doing? No, not Facebook. But I've finally made time to catch up on my HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother) series. Have always been out of time to watch it and finally, I've finished the whole of Season 3 approximately 2 minutes ago.

A really nice picture of them and man I love Barney :)

Now for Season 4.

Sigh there's 8am class tomorrow. Can I not go? Pretty please? :(

Thanks for loving me, cuz you're doing it perfectly.

I am now officially sick. Well technically, I've been sick for the past 3 days already. Am down with a very bad sore throat, horrible cough and a very annoying flu. Have been spam eating all sorts of medicines and bugging people if I would die after eating everything one shot haha wtf.

Somehow, I engaged myself into a few rather attention seeking activities the minute I'm sick. And well, the only people who layan-ed me were Pei Ling and the Secret Lover. Well, I did try to seek attention from two other people but it was a major fail haha. My dad hung up before I could start seeking attention and A replied that he's in the gym along with a ttyl. Big time fail.

Pei Ling was the nice one who brought me to eat porridge when I was craving for it (besides the fact that she was waiting for my voice to change so that she can laugh at it) and the Secret Lover actually bothered telling me what and what not to do.

ĴØŇ says:
*wahh someone's finally sick huhu
*poor u
*too bad im not here if nt MAYBE can take care of u
*hahaha

kamen says:
*what finally. u sound so happy T_________T
*i damn kelian ok

ĴØŇ says:
*haiyo i not there ma
*so i cant do much

kamen says:
*do you think i'll die
*if i take panadol and pain killer and cough meds and the chinese thing?

ĴØŇ says:
*i edi told u dun take panadol
*pain killer n cough meds can la
*dun take western mix wid chinese

kamen says:
*pain killer is worse than panadol
*but i edi took chinese n the cough meds
*just haven take painkiller n panadol

ĴØŇ says:
*lol then i will pray for u
*T>T
*hahahaha

HAHAHA. Damn funny, he didn't know how else to layan anymore and he resorted to that. Sigh. I hate being sick. I've missed out on two parties on two consecutive nights already due to the horrible state that I am in. One on Thursday and another on Friday. Damn.

I really hate being sick :(