现在我的心又因你而难过.

亲爱的,

现在想起来, 愧欠的感觉依然还在. 或许你也已经对我没有一丝的想念, 也或许我早就把你收在心底. 可是今天的我突然真的好想你.

想念你的好, 想念你的深情, 想念你的一切.

你还是那么的了解我 - 了解我的脾气, 了解我的任性, 了解我的习惯. 才明了感情不是说互相喜欢就可以了. 走到如今的我, 真的累了...今天跟你聊天, 才发现自己在不知不觉中拼命的掩饰着自己的狼狈, 不想让你发现.

要不是我们之间的距离, 那该有多好. 现在的我也不得不承认, 曾经最疼爱我的, 最爱我的 - 也非你莫属. 没有任何人比你更爱我, 更疼爱我 , 更在乎我. 说没有一点后悔是骗人的, 可是我们也只能向前走吧. 现在的我终于能体会到 「去爱一个人是痛苦的, 而被爱是幸福的」这句话吧. 很想对你说的话真的有太多, 只可是每当我们交谈时, 我都忘得一干二净了. 我, 很惨吧?

I guess it's just my loss.

你都努力过了, 爱过了...只怪我, 不懂得珍惜. 你的单纯, 你的稚气, 和你的善良, 我不配.

亲爱的, 请你原谅我当时的残忍与无情.
也请你一定要比我好过, 要幸福.

This love has taken its toll on me.

在一起叫梦, 分开了叫痛
是不是说
没有做完的梦最痛?

还是摆脱不了一直纠缠着我的, 过去.
也应该算得上是嫉妒吧.
或许你告诉我说你忘了,
可是曾经这么爱过, 又怎能说忘记就忘记呢?

因她而做的改变, 我是多么不愿意的接受.
因她而做的一切, 我是多么的想拥有.
想不停的霸占你, 说穿了只不过是害怕.
想成为你心里的第一, 说穿了只不过是不安.

亲爱的, 我想...你也应该不会因为我 - 因为爱我,
而再次改变吧?
毕竟, 给我的爱
哪像她曾拥有的那份
无限制的爱.

同样的拥有你, 为什么却那么讽刺?

想念最傷心, 但卻最動心的記憶
早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何苦一往情深?

It's yesterday once more.

This is wayyyy backdated. Well, just a week actually. Was shopping with my Mom when I spotted this. And I couldn't take my hands off the box already the moment I saw it. In fact, I was holding two boxes straight away - one for me, and one for the Cousin of course. Cuz I figured that could definitely be a birthday present she'd love so so much. (Later on she insisted she still must receive something from me on the exact day itself so it didn't really make any difference eventually haha).

Kitty ちゃん!!

Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Magazine (Technically, it's a box set).

And it came along with a I ♥ Hello Kitty tote bag too!! How can I not buy it! :O

The magazine rocks, seriously. It had the entire record of the very first Hello Kitty (Kitty-chan) goods till the ones that we have right now. Talk about old school :3

The 80's and 90's.

And guess what? The entire horizontal row? The Cousin and I have each of them haha wtf.

The Cousin insisted that I took a picture of this and posted it up cuz apparently it was her favourite page cuz these were handphone straps made accordingly to each of Japan's district.

They even have the latest version of Hello Kitty (or at least, the latest version of Hello Kitty available now) - Kitty Tartan. Beautiful :)

Seriously, the magazine makes you feel as if you want to own everything in there. Bloody expensive stuffs in there tho. Anyhoots, the bag still rocks big time :D

Oh, on an unrelated note, I have a very kiasu friend. I always knew kiasu-ness was in her. But I didn't know that she was that efficient in being kiasu, despite being far far away in Glassgow :P

Yes, it was posted on my Facebook after my bruise post.

Btw, I miss you woman. When are you finally coming home?

I wanna be the one for you cuz you are the one.

What mentally disturbed people would do with cards: Think of really torturing games to play with one another.

It was supposed to be a very innocent dinner with A and the Cousin today till the Cousin (bloody itchy butt) randomly took out playing cards from her bag. And A, being the card addict, suggested we should play. Okay fine, so we played.

Everything was fine till ONE OF THEM (I can't remember which one of them was more mentally disturbed) suggested that we should play the drinking game. You know, the one where each gets a card and puts it on their foreheads, guessing whose cards are bigger than the rest. Well, we didn't have drinks with us, so the more mentally disturbed one among them said we shall make pinching the punishment.

It got bloody addictive. Till we moved to the poolside of my house from the restaurant and played till 12am. Stupid game got us playing for 3 hours straight wtf. Well, in the end? Me, being the least mentally disturbed among them all became the greatest victim.

Minor bruises, when everything could still be considered fine.



A's poorly pinched hands.

He looks like he has multiple love bites on both arms haha! It ain't really obvious in the picture, but haha it was really funny.

Well, the Cousin's one wasn't too obvious but heck, she now has a huge bump on her arm. Yes, it got swollen. HAHA.

And mine?

Shut up, I know I have hairy hands :x

Yes, I look as if I got abused. Bloody hell, it seems as if some blood vessels in there have burst or something haha wtf.

Bloody pin tai shit game. Well, guess what? This game is now officially banned (well, the card game is fine but not the pinching) till Flo is back. She'll definitely get pinched. We swear.

Ang Pei Ling, you're the next victim before Flo comes home.

I just wanna keep on loving you.

何かをすればいいのはもう知らない。

好きにしろう。もう喧嘩したくない、何も言いたくなくなる。

君が知ってるはずなのに・・・でも知らないフリをしてたね。

だから・・・だから

もう、ウンザリだ。

ね・・・君、知ってる？何回もあったよ、諦めたいこの気持ち。

幸せ・・・？皮肉だなぁ。

一緒に居るのはそんなに難しいか？

不想说了, 不想吵了, 也累了
你想怎样就怎样吧...也不想理了
想放弃的这个念头也出现了几百遍
幸福...? 真讽刺.

It's unhealthy. Very much unhealthy.

And there's nothing I can do about it,

but to watch it die a slow death

slowly, but eventually.

Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city.

What better way to start the day than this ♥ ♥ ♥



Both my lovessss, all at once :)

谁都知双手可紧扣, 不依不舍的背后
这个信念有多温柔.

Big lights will inspire you.

Girl said to Guy one day, "It's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut."
So in response Guy told her that "If a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock."

That shut her up.

Hahaha damn funny. But well I have to admit, it does kinda make some sense. LOL.

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet.

How can it both be so similar and yet so different? I don't get it.

When it is that easy for you, it really shows how much there is for me.

You caught me off guard, you really surprised me - you did.

And now that it's clear to me,

I think I know where it all stands.


It always makes me want to cry, so badly.

Anyone, mind sparing me a ticket to NYC or Manchester right now? I'd so forget about classes and run off to any of the two places. That's the only places where I need to be.

Wait, or are you still in Milwaukee now, love? T________________T

So much for my happy ending.

I'm sure, two is never better than one.

Words, so easily said. Things, so easily done.
For you at least.
I was wrong I guess, that it would be hard too.
Imbecile much.
I guess, it's just a difference I gotta bear with.

But what if, I have done the same?

Wait, no. I know I wouldn't.
I'll never do that.
I'll never ever do that.
What's forgotten would remain forgotten.

If it was as simple as you put it... then shall we?

*

Once upon a time, I considered staying - for you.

But right now,

I can't wait to leave this place - I wished there was a midnight flight.

Where I could fly to Manchester... or New York, where you're at.

No where else I'd rather be.

*

Why is it that, he never listens to your screams inside?
And why is it that,
he never sees the tears you cry?

But nothing's greater than the rush which comes with your embrace.

So here's the obligatory post-CNY post (wtf lame pun).

No I didn't go anywhere out of KL. Have been staying in KL and bumming around since the first day of CNY. Well, had the Cousin to bum around with since the second day of CNY though haha. Just did the usual visiting around between relatives and all. Seriously, I think normal days would be less boring instead. Cuz everyone would be out of town during the holidays and there will be nobody available when something is up. So much for being a city child.

With the Cousin :)

Oh oh and we made chocolate chip cookies!!

My very first cookies made :3

I know, I know, the chocolate chips are quite ugly and uneven. But they're fine okay! So much for being greedy. The Cousin and I were shopping for the ingredients to bake cookies that morning. We were in a dilemma (yes, our lives are pretty much filled with dilemmas everyday. But that's a different story) on which packet of chocolate chips to buy. Cuz both were chocolate chips but they were packed differently. So we were pretty sure that there had to be a difference.

The Cousin eventually discovered that one had very huge chocolate chips and the other had comparatively smaller ones. So we decided to buy the bigger ones cuz they would taste nicer wtf. We were just greedy. Eventually, the chocolate chips turned out to be too big that it couldn't fit into our cookies. As in, they look like burnt nipples on our cookies (or rather the Cousin described it that way)

T____________________T

So I had to cut those chocolate chips into smaller pieces in the end. Quite sad.

Don't laugh, failed things happen to us pretty often okay :(

My very cute penguin ♥ ♥

Oh, and it has a name - A the Round :D:D



The Minnie Mouse of the day. With her Hello Kitty pusseh.



Okay, the final obligatory self picture during CNY.

Haha, that was just another lame excuse for me to post my own vain pic up haha. So yea, to those gambling - especially poker, do enjoy losing your money. Yes, I'm talking to you. Okay I'm just kidding. Hope you people win loads okay? And to the young ones, hope you get lots of ang pau's heheh.

Oh, and to the Year 2 law students? Enjoy struggling for your assignments :D

(Cheh. Speaking as if I'm not one of them haha!)

I wanna be with you cuz you are the one.

君と交わす言葉、君と過ごす時間
全て愛しすぎて、宝物だよ
一緒にはなれないと分かってたはずなのに
君を求めてるよ
だから never ever let you go.

The conversations I had with you,
The times I spent with you,
Are all precious to me and
I love them all too much.
I know very well that we can never be together forever
But you're the one I'm looking for
So I'll never ever let you go.

♥ ♥ ♥

いとしすぎて(Itoshisugite) - KG (duet with Tiara)

Does anyone know how/where to download this song?? Do tell me if you know how/where, cuz I can't seem to find it :(

Very beautiful song :)

I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry.

Today, another mundane day.
And each hour passed slower than it usually does.
Here I am,
Questioning myself what have I done to myself.
To be caught in this state of mess.

A day has passed,
But I can't seem to find the answer still.
Now what do I do?

Hey,
I'm screaming inside.
But why can't my voice seem to reach you?

When all I really need is just that touch which only you can give.

You would never ask me why
my heart is so disguised.

I'm a mess in a dress.

If I told you I love you,
It'll never be the same again.
Let's just say,

A broken glass could never be whole even if it was mended.
The crack stays, ironically visible.

If I told you I love you,
I can never feel the same again.
Like how I did the day before today.

If I told you I love you,
The happy moments which passed us by,
Each painted carefully with our laughter and kisses,
All smeared carelessly with the tears I cried tonight.

If I told you I love you,
Could it exchange for a piece of your heart,
The piece where you'd care so much
That it pains you if it pains me.

If I told you I love you,
I love you so indeed, too much actually.
I can never believe you let it happen.
When one hug could have touched my heart.

If I told you I love you,
You'll never know how much I want to.
But this love is suffocating you,
And I'm losing faith... losing grip,
How could I ever tell you?

That I love you.

Oh, how pathetic I am tonight.

当你遇见一份除了我之外的温暖．

就算我对你的爱，深得像一片海

亲爱的，
我想我真的不会爱．

Even if my love to you
is as deep as the sea

Sweetheart,
I think I really don't know how to love.

No, he can't read my pokerface.

When both of your hands become empty,
Left with nothing but spades and diamonds,
Or perhaps hearts and clubs.
And mine - with nothing but a smile I fake, a pokerface maybe.
I guess, that's how freedom would be like for you.

Gamble our love away,
With a royal flush maybe,
Or would you prefer a full house?

Just gamble it away, love.
I'd like to see that.

I thought you'd want the same for me... :(

My lips like sugar.

Here's the obligatory wish to my very beloved readers, wherever you are.

Happy Chinese New Year,
dear people :)

Hope you collect lots of ang pau's through the holidays (If you're the one giving out ang pau's, then erm... enjoy giving them out! Heh). And definitely hope you have ton loads of fun (I'm sure you will, with all the poker, mahjong, black jack and everything)! Speaking of gambling, it greatly reminds me of my dear friend ChingMun. Hope she isn't gambling happily in Scotland without us :(

Nevertheless, have a great year ahead and the usual - may you and your family be blessed with prosperity and great health. Now where's my angpau? :D

And no, I did not forget.

Happy Valentines' Day all!

Have a very sweet and romantic one. I know, it's hard to be celebrating it this year with it clashing with CNY and all but well, look on the bright side, restaurants will definitely be less crowded this time! :)

May the single ladies, and dudes, enjoy their nights partying together (and hopefully, find the right one). Well, you know, killing one bird with two stones two birds with one stone. And may the coupled ones be happy always. Do argue once in a while HAHAHA. Well, you won't realise how much you love one another without arguing and feeling bad after that right? Teehee.

Love, princess.

P/S. I love my penguin ♥♥♥

P/P/S. Secret Lover, do not enjoy too much in Miami okay. I'll hate you for that.

To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

Whoa, it's been so many days already since I last updated! I kept having the impression that it was just one or two days ago. Oh well. I was busy, does that make up for a good excuse? Heheh.

Had a blast of a night last night with the usual convicts - the Cousin, Pei Ling and Mia. Went club hopping in Heritage Row, chilled, and danced our night away before the CNY holidays officially commence when Pei Ling heads back to Banting and Mia heads back to Vietnam. We danced so much till the Cousin and Pei Ling had to take off their heels lol. It was definitely a very super awesome night! (Can't think of any other way to put it anymore).

P/S. We all hate the Cousin now. She just have to look so nice in every picture taken. Damn.

The 4 of us <3



Pei Ling & the Cousin



With Miaaaaa

And I love this picture. Mia looks so cute here, and my hairrrrrr :D



With Pei Ling. That woman was tipsy already when this picture was taken.

"Hi dudeeeeeee." Wtf. Hahaha!



With Pei Ling in Maison.
(And the Cousin berkacau kacau-ing behind (wtf is there such word?)).



Mia, Cousin and Pei Ling :D



Pei Ling again :P

Another failed moment happened to me that night (Not like there isn't enough already in my daily life). We were all dancing the entire night and when we left, my eyes kinda felt weird. Nevertheless, I just ignored it and got into the car. I then realised what was wrong when I had to direct the road. I couldn't read the signboards - unless I cover my right eye. Yes, my lens dropped off god knows when. Very FML-ish. And I have completely no idea when and how it dropped. Epic fail.

So that was my night before CNY :)

We should definitely do this again after our Tort assignment babes! :D

*

The unseen barrier, which I can never cross.
The unspoken understandings, which I can never compromise on.
The unheard screams, which you always choose to shut your heart away from.

All I ever wanted was a little of that little bit;

And to get rid of the envy. I hate envy, very much so.

你主宰，我崇拜
没有更好的办法.

甜蜜常常少说一段，用心太深看不出来
就算我对你的爱
深得像一片海，重得我放不开

亲爱的，我想我真的不会爱.

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me.

So, my holidays officially start as of today. This year is much better off compared to last year when we only had a 3 days break for Chinese New Year. (Holy cow, 3 days!) This time, we have a week and a half! How good is that :D

Oh, guess what? I'm sleep deprived again. Have been sleeping for less than 5 hours for the past 4 days again. It's either me having to wake up for the insane 8am classes, or my mom just have to wake me up on those beautiful weekends just so that I could accompany her to buy CNY decoration stuffs. Omfg. She scolds me when I say I don't wanna go and rather sleep :( And I tried getting on her nerve by singing Jingle Bells out loud when everywhere went dong dong chiang. I'm such an ass sometimes ha-ha-ha.

Seems like I won't be able to have enough sleep anytime soon :(:(

Now what should I be doing throughout the CNY break? Couz! We gotta start planning yo! Or we're just gonna be lifeless bitches through the week. Holidays aren't meant to be wasted like this :(

Suggestions, anyone? Oh, please forget that thing you call assignment :D

For the way you're something that I'd never choose
but at the same time something I don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again.

I must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter.

You're the best thing i never knew i needed
when you appear i had no idea.
Now it's so clear i need you here, always.

Something inside this heart has died, you're in ruins.

Behind this facade, behind this smile,
Lies a thousand unsaid words,
Words devoured by the dark, silent night.
Along with my tears once upon a time.

Oh, won't the past just leave me alone?
Your past, my past - our past.
And here we are, I'm haunted.

It just comes back to the same old phrase,
That I'm
just not good enough... again.

Oh how I envy her sometimes.

有谁会在乎，有谁会想念
有谁能看穿，我的笑脸
愛得洶湧，來不及閃躲
我卻为他墜落.

Now this is the sound of a broken heart.

Was having a chat with Jia Xin, one of my long lost friends since high school. Well, let's just say all of us have dispersed, literally, since high school ended. And that was years ago. All pursuing different courses, which eventually led us to different phases in life. Through the years, all of us kinda drifted apart, only to be brought together by the very rare outings once in a while. Well, it's physically impossible now I guess. One being far away in Melbourne, the other being far away in Scotland, and not forgetting, one leaving for Australia soon.

And that leaves the two of us, who'll also be leaving for different parts in UK soon this year. We've been chatting for hours, till 5am, talking about everything which crossed our minds. Be it random shit or updates about our current lives.

Then we came to this topic. The topic which I'm pretty sure, was rather devastating to a lot of people. Or at least to those that I know of.

This bitch called Long Distance Relationship (LDR).

It kills. It's like some silent killer of relationships. I'm pretty amazed how LiHong could pull through all that shit with her sweetheart when she left, and is still away - with him still being in Malaysia. I've seen many couples breaking up, getting back together and then breaking up again due to distance. (And I think I kinda pricked some wounds over there by saying this).

I really don't know how people go through this horrible thing. Separation. I know, I know, there's always separation and they'll eventually come back and all. But it's just so different, isn't it? Like how you once see each other so often. Now that you're both in different time zones, it's hard to even talk to each other. And both being busy with their own stuffs. With this, more arguments would arise and it'll lead to more tangled knots, no?

Well, frankly I completely have no faith in this thing called LDR. I never thought it works anyway. And I can never imagine myself doing it. Sometimes I even think, would I rather end things if I were to leave one day, without going through the hassle of parting? I don't know. I can't seem to come up with an answer. Cuz I hate arguments. It annoys me a lot.

And I really despise the feeling of missing someone dearly and not being able to see them, physically. And I might even get all insecure and all. It gets me all emo. And I really can't put my mind to it.

Unless one day, I manage to get through all the pain of separation and be cool with it. Then maybe - maybe I could try LDR. Till then, my stand doesn't really change - it's disastrous, devastating and tiring.

Sometimes, love hurts. And when it hurts, it hurts like hell.

And there's nothing you can do about it but to let it continue hurting.

Well, that's just a piece of my mind about LDR. What do you think? :)

I don't want to run out of time,
but it's catching up with me.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

- do you know you're unlike any other?

I don't wanna ever love another,
you'll always be my thunder.

*

Haha. This is very much similar to a conversation that you and I would most probably have.

*

Sometimes, I'm too afraid to think.
To think that the future is nearing me, nearing us.
Too soon actually.
It gets me sad all over again whenever I think about it.
And it bugs me everyday.


It's like I'm running out of time.

爱太美，尽管再危险
也愿陪上了一切超支千年的泪

This innocence, it's brilliant.

Just watched the video (click on link to watch) of Fish Leong's wedding a while ago when the Cousin shared it with me. Oh my, it was so sweet. A really heartfelt wedding it was. Her husband must really love her a lot :)

For those who are wondering who she is,

No, shut up, I know what you want to say already. Just a slight one. A very slight one. We don't look alike. If you want a (rather) detailed comparison, you can see it here.

So stop saying this to me the first time you see me. "Hey, let's try guessing which singer you look like?" Cuz I'll tell you straight I know who you're referring to. I've been hearing that too many times already that it isn't funny anymore. Trust me, some guy tried striking on a conversation with me with that line before and you should've seen his face when I said yes I know. It was ridiculously hilarious.

*

虽然每天见面，感觉却没有因此被拉近．我的心却无法事过境迁，这样的结束，要我怎么接受？说接受，说释怀，那你就怪我言不由衷吧．难道你就甘心了吗？

终於能笑着跟你互相问候
终於还是做你所谓的朋友
你把我放在最后 说不出为什么
但就是拒绝不了你的请求

别说还想我, 别说还爱我
那会摧毁了我保持着距离的理由

我没有你以为那么的洒脱
不是爱或不爱都能随口说

现在我的心又因你而难过
因为你的心不只为我温柔.

最近为什么总是想起你？

Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong with me.

[ 她因她的不完美而完美. ]

甜言蜜语．．．这些我都曾看过．

如果是真的那么完美，就不会有秘密了．
如果不是真的那么完美，当初你就不会选择揭开秘密了．


只怪我们，

相见恨晚．

*

我们的爱情是秘密, 不能成立
我们的事情说好不提起
让我们都能够清晰

你和她是不变的定律

I can't keep my hands out the cookie jar.

You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute.

Promiscuous boy,
You already know that I’m all yours
What you waiting for?

Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead,
But you're still kinda cute.

Promiscuous boy,
Let's get to the point, cuz we're on a roll
Are you ready?

The song I've been mentioning to you about. Not exactly a new song, but yeah. I'm sorry, love if I've neglected you for those HK dramas I've been watching lately hehe.

3 more months. Can't wait. Will try to miss you in the meantime ♥ ♥

...my not so Secret Lover :)