You told me you would never ever forget these images.

I've heard of a saying, a very sad saying which goes like this,

"When you have loved unconditionally one man and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad and broken heart, a void forever."

I can never agree more to that. But then again, I have also been told that it is always better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

That, I can never deny. It is always best to know that you have once loved so badly and blindly that you've even forgotten the reason why. But the most foolish and admirable thing is knowing that you've never regretted a moment of it :)

*

点头, 挥手, 微笑.
你和我, 就像陌生人般
擦肩而过.

擦れ違った

那瞬间的我终于可以很肯定的说
我真的放下了.
伤口依然会痛, 心依然会觉得难过
可是
我还是放下了.

そして

你, 只不过是我生命里其中一个过客.
一个让我跌到, 然后成长的过客.
一个我无法忘记的过客.

ありがとう・・・

你曾经给过我的, 那么多却那么少.
多的是伤害与回忆, 少的却是时间.
挣扎了两年, 到最后拥有的
是陌生的微笑.
而我, 也只能和你一样
对你微笑, 让你知道现在的我
更好过.

色々。

或许这是我们之间
最好的问候吧.


And here, I'd wish you all the happiness in the world,
My once upon a time dream.

Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish I you thought I was the reason,
I wish the way I dressed was your favourite kinda style,
I wish that without me your heart would break.

And I wish that without me
You'd be spending the rest of your nights awake,
I wish that I was,
The last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

I wish that my touch makes you smile just like that,
And I wish I had you the way that she had.
Oh I wish I was her,
I wish that was me.

*

Oh bad, bad songs.

下雨天．

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样, 等不到他的谁?
爱上你我总在学会寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞, 一个人擦泪, 一个人好累.

Hopes will only make one more tired,
Who's just like me,
Waiting for that somebody who doesn't care?
Loving you only taught me the taste of loneliness.
Holding the umbrella alone, wiping my own tears,
It's sickening to be alone.

怎样的雨, 怎样的夜,
怎样的我能让你更想念?
雨要多大, 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴?

What type of rain, what type of night,
And how would I need to be,
To make you miss me?
How heavy would the rain need to be,
How dark would the night need to be,
Only you would be willing to care?

其实没有我你分不清那些差别　
结局还能多明显？
别说你会难过，别说你想改变.

Actually, it doesn't matter to you
With or without me.
How more obvious could the ending get?
Don't tell me you'll be sad,
Don't even try telling me you'll change.

Oh how much I'm loving this song right now.

愛しかった君にサヨウナラを。

溺れそうよ。

I'm drowning.

誰かへ叫びたいけど、呼ぶ名前さえ思い出せない。何でだろう？
失望・言い訳・堕落
これは、地獄？

呼吸したい、でも息ができない。
ただ・・・この苦しさから逃げたい。
繰り返すばかり、逃げられない。
誰か、助けてくれる？

本当に悪魔がいるなら、魂の代わりに、幸せがくれるの？
幸せってそうじゃないだから。

君だけいれば何でもできると思ったけど、愚かな考えだった。
結局、私に残るのは孤独しかないだね？

一人で彷徨っているこの星もない夜
冷たくて無慈悲な深夜、私を嘲笑しているように。
そろそろ夜明が来るだよ、まだ寝られないのに・・・
耳を済ませる同時に、闇が囁いた、
「希望は失望になるためだけなんだ」って。

空に見上げた瞬間、
翼があればいいんだと思い込んだ。
消えられるからさぁ。

怖いよ、失いたくないよ。
ずっと失いたくなくて掌に強く握ったせいかも知れない、
だから見えない籠になった、だから鍵のない鎖にもなってしまった。
だから、砕いた。

誰かこの我が儘をわかってくれるのでしょう？

あなたと言う空の中
僕だけを閉じ込めて
もう何処にも行かないで。

The club can't even handle me right now.

My apologies for the lack of updates, or rather - lack of pictures recently. I've been out so often that I don't even have the time to actually sit down and think of what to blog about. Okay, I was just lazy or too tired to blog.

Okay, as most of you already know it was Flo baby's return to KL again, just for the weekend (like, two weeks ago?).

:)

And well, just few days ago, we had one of our most awesome night out together, like finally. Try imagining a simple yam char session which ended up being a partying night. Yes, we only wore our normal tops, shorts for some, flats and as for me, my roxy sandals. Oh, and not forgetting CM's long dress which reached till her ankle. And our very, very minimal makeup which have already been smudged/faded horribly through the day.

Nothing can beat the randomness of this night. Oh and the erm, stupidity. Thank god the album could only be accessed by the four of us. Otherwise, I think I should really start digging a hole and bury myself there.

Our group pic!!
Sigh I love these lovelies.

Haha Xin looks cute here!

Lesson learnt: Never ever, as in, NEVER dance next to Chingy. Let's just say... she selectively has very bad balancing skills. If you get what I mean. Else, you might risk having your erm, lower bodily part injured. It's either you get terribly injured that way, or the people next to you would glare at you angrily due to the constant banging into people.

I wonder when's the next time we'll ever ever have a night like this again, with everyone leaving the country already :(

Got home at 3.30am and finally managed to sleep at 5am. A few hours later, all of us met up (again) for lunch with LiHong the Donkey at Rakuzen @Plaza Damas before she flies off again. We were so lucky to have the whole room to ourselves, cuz we were so L-O-U-D. All the laughing and shouting. Sigh, sometimes, I miss those days when we were back in school :)

Chingy, being extremely happy that it was her last day of work, insisted that she had to get back to work cuz she was already 1 hour late. Eventually, this happened on the way back to work:

Smelly: Eh, wind down the windows so that it seems more real. Like we're stranded by the side of the road.

Chingy: *winds down window and dials number*Hello? I don't think I can make it back to work cuz kawan saya ada accident. I was on my way back to work (bullshit) but suddenly ada kereta then BAMMM. Kawan saya sangat takut. I'm sorry...

HAHAHA! She literally spoke that way, with Malay and English all jumbled up together and I swear, she ended it with kawan saya sangat takut and I don't know why she added it. I think it was for dramatic purposes (wtf). So what for?

To play Monopoly Deal in LiHong's house.

-___________________-

It was fun though. Watching how all of LiHong's property got swiped off the table by JX just like that. And all of us trying desperately to convince JX to take another's property instead of our ownselves'.

Only the bunch of us could come up with nonsense like that I guess. Only when we're together, right darlings? :)

Hey, it's me again. I'm so in love with you again.

眠る貴方は哀しそうで
悪い夢でも見てるようだ
ぼくはここだよ
隣にいるよ
どこへももう行かない

You look so sad even when you're asleep,
Did you just had bad dream?
I'm here,
Right here beside you,
I'm not going anywhere.

貴方という空の中
僕だけを閉じこめて
もうどこへも行かないよ
もうどこにも行かないで

Just keep me inside,
The sky that I think you are.
I'm not going anywhere anymore,
So please do not leave anymore.

人はみな空の中
自由という籠の中
貴方だけ居ればいい
この空にもう翼は
いらない.

Everyone under this sky,
Imprisoned within this cage called freedom.
As long as you are here,
This sky no longer needs its wings.

I guess, these lyrics would mean nothing to those who do not understand its meaning, cuz it took me a while to understand it too. After I finally remembered that "sky" is called Ciel in French :)

Now read those lyrics again and please tell me that you get it too? :)

#kuroshitsuji

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe?
When you with em you meet and
neither one of you even know what hit em
Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em.

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems,
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

All I know is I love you too much to walk away though

Next time there won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies,
I'm tired of the games I just want her back.

- Love The Way You Lie

Go easy on my conscience, cuz it's not my fault.

爱已不能动
还有什么值得我心痛
没人心疼的黑夜
脸颊两行咸咸的泪水

你怎么舍得让我的泪流向海?
付出的感情永远找不回来
你怎么舍得让我的爱流向海?
伤心的往事一幕幕
就像潮水将我掩埋

朝なんか来なければいいのに
そうしたらいつまでもこうして二人
すっと一緒にいられるのに。

When everything that felt so right is wrong.

Quote Flo:

"When a guy hasn't got you, everything is unimportant, but you.
But when he has gotten you, everything is more important than you."

The sad truth about the men species.

If I ever start to think straight, this heart will start a riot in me.

So I was happily tweeting away last night. I remember the first time I saw the singer of this song, it felt so familiar. I knew I heard or saw it somewhere before.

Now I remember
T__________________T

*the so called superstar (inside joke) needs his privacy so it's censored off. lol?

A moment later...

ĴØŇ says (1:02 AM):
*r u there?

kamen says (1:02 AM):
*yes darling

(He started off nicely so I innocently thought he would be nice and actually send me the song)

ĴØŇ says (1:02 AM):
*noob that song also noisy la
*same as what i listen
*u damn bias
*jus cuz its the song from the anime u watching

kamen says (1:03 AM):
*hahahahah how u knowwwwwwww
*that song damn nice ok. different from ur bising songs

ĴØŇ says (1:04 AM):
*zzzzz
*biased shit malas talk to u
*that song is also bising la
*what not bising
*i can giv u tons of songs that sounds like that

kamen says (1:04 AM):
*hahahah sorry la. eh think on the bright side
*at least im appreciating ur type of songs di

ĴØŇ says (1:04 AM):
*err that's not appreciating
*that's lame

kamen says (1:04 AM):
*where got
*wait la slowlyyy

ĴØŇ says (1:05 AM):
*haih jus agree with me
*u cannot win one

Yeap, that was another failed argument with the (not so) Favourite J. He pm-ed me just to emo me about that. Well, it all started when I constantly complained that he listens to what I call "bising songs". Okay, it's actually Jrock heheh. His songs are like... constantly loud in the car and whenever I attempt to lower the volume, he'll eventually turn it on louder.

So when I randomly tweeted that I'm actually listening to a "bising song", he snapped. Hahaha can't blame him actually. But his songs are quite bising :(

And speaking of which, I was having a conversation with the other favourite simultaneously and somehow, this popped up. I have no idea how we ended up there but yeah, we did.

kamen says (1:36 AM):
*u know whats annoying? i think my period coming. feels like it
*ugh

Yr Highness Flo: says (1:36 AM):
*cheh so -_-
*it comes every month wert

kamen says (1:37 AM):
*but but
*ur coming down kl!!!
*its lk
*buzzkiller

Yr Highness Flo: says (1:38 AM):
*darling i 'm not going to fuck you
*so IT'S OKAY

kamen says (1:38 AM):
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*wtf

Wtf indeed. See, when you have lame people like this in your life, it won't be boring :)

But that "APL IS A LOSER SHIT" had been missing in action for quite some time already... it's about time to extort some loser moments from her already. Heheh >:-D

My first kiss went a little like this.

I'm sorry, I have neglected this blog for way too long. I'm seriously too busy lazy to post updates... cuz they're really random ones. Like when I play mahjong, when I party or when I just hang around and do nothing with my bunch of lamo's.

Well, the ass (literally) - okay, Li Hong got home from Melbourne and we finally managed to smuggle her out of home to have lunch with us! She forgot to take out her camera when we were having lunch (before CM had to go back to work) and we played Pictionary with the Smelly's iPad. It was retarded... especially when everyone claimed they have drawing like Picasso's. For example, Jia Xin drew a square (like literally) and Smelly managed to guess it was a fridge. Like wtf?

So after sending CM back to work (and after so many rounds of Pictionary), Li Hong's darling suggested we have desserts. So Food Foundry it was! And they had awesome possum crepe cakes! *drools*

With Jia Xin, also the long time mahjong kaki.

Speaking of that, CM just had a very screwed up theory. She was labeling Jee King as her "mahjong kaki friend". So being the bitch that I am, I told him that it's just a mahjong kaki friend, and not real friend.

So her theory (or rather, hierarchy) went like this:

"First, it's those hi-bye friends. Then it's normal friends. Then only mahjong kaki friends."

So I assume that it's the second highest in the hierarchy immediately below close friends? This is screwed up. I have the weirdest friends ever.

With LipekHong in the middle :D

Oh, and guess which ahjuma is coming down from Penang again tomorrow? At least this time we didn't have to drive all the way up for her heheh :P

Shake me till you wake me from this bad dream.

The story of how I almost died a couple of nights ago:

It all started with the BBQ night on Saturday. Sorry, as you all have already known, my camera screen cracked so this was one of the better shots I managed to find. Mind the two of them behind covering their faces. Oh, and this reminded me of an inside joke that me and CM thought of at the same time.

"It's like when those clubs got raid. Then they catch those people and they appear on tv covering their faces."

HAHAHA joker.

My darlings, all together :)

Awesome awesome night ♥ ♥

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe.

Haha I just find this video funny so I decided to share it here in my blog and have a cheating post.

This song never fails to get me sky high and one I'll never get bored of. Well, the original version of course.

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe?

I guess, there's just some scars and wounds that will never fade through time. Like a shattered glass or a puzzle with a missing piece.

As much as we think that we've gotten better, and as far as we thought we've left the past behind, we're just running away.

Buried those hauntingly sweet memories deep within our heads, unwilling to relive them ever again. Cuz we're afraid.

Afraid of the tears cried, the heart which broke and the pain so enduring you wished you died.

We let go, we move on and we smile. We may even say we've completely forgotten. But really, everyone knows it's a lie we tell to ourselves.

With just the mention of the person's name or the coincidental meeting with that someone.

That's when you realise those feelings still live within you. The hatred, the longing, the regret or the could have been's.

I'm sure everyone would have met a special someone like that, in some phase in their life. Someone who broke our hearts so badly we thought we could never love again.

At least I know a great handful of people who had.

*

No, I'm not getting emotional all over again don't worry (haha). Was facing this blank draft, trying to figure out what to blog about till I thought about a conversation I had with a close friend of mine last night.

That conversation we had made me think for quite a bit. I realised that it wasn't just her. I thought back about myself and the many people around me. The first names which came to my head, most of them went through about the same shit.

Some were betrayed for another, some could not take the distance, and some were... too naive. You name it.

But hey, there wouldn't be another next time. We'll try, at least :)

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's alright because I like the way you lie.

I love the way you lie.

I know a place where the grass is really greener.

This morning (let's consider it morning cuz I was still asleep) I was awoken by my phone. It was a text. Well, I was still in a state of blur and my mind couldn't really register what I was reading cuz I was still half asleep. It was from the Favourite J. (I decided to change the name cuz the Secret Lover isn't exactly secret anymore wtf).

J: You would want to see me for lunch or something cuz I'm too hot in formal. People are looking man.

Me: Bitch. Of all days. I'm not free today. You just woke me up and now I can't sleep back and I don't get to see sleeves. FML. Maybe there's something on your ass that's why people are looking.

J: You're just jealous you don't get to see it. I'm like a walking eye candy man.


I think it takes a lot to be able to take these kinda nonsense on a daily basis, like seriously hahaha. And not forgetting those insults I get daily from him :(

He knows my weird obsession and loves taking advantage of it. I feel so exploited and speaking of which, I have friends who once fooled me saying it was International Sleeves Day and I believed.

T____________________T

So that was how my day started.

Well that's alright because I love the way you lie.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cuz after all the partying,
The smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness

There comes a time when you fade to the blackness.

黑暗,
往往都隐藏在光明与灿烂之中.

There's so many ways to love you.

Yes, Zouk night. I think I walked more than I danced. Walked around the whole of Zouk, literally. From one room to the other. My legs were on the verge of breaking towards the end of the night that it felt like heaven once my heels were off.

The precious picture of the night.

All three of us. CM said we look too Cina already so she changed the colour contrast before letting me post it wtf. I didn't get the logic behind whatever she said but yeah, anything goes haha. It's like DoReMi. I'm the Re and CM's the Do, as usual. Try guessing the Mi HAHAHA.

Honestly speaking, it was our first time clubbing together. All 3 of us. Despite the many many years of knowing each other. Funny much?

I like this picture of CM.

She looks so... happy haha. I remember she was the loser partner of mine. The one who was coughing like an idiot in the club right next to me hahaha.

Then there was my other favourite. No doubt on who ;-)

Finally he wore sleeves!

And knowing me... and my weird fetish... this was what happened:

Me: You look nice tonight my dear.

Jon: Duh, I look nice every day man. Since when I don't.

He left me speechless. I know nobody else vainer than that.

I love love love this pic!

CM: Eh I'm bored. What are you doing?

Me: Looking at pic.

CM: You damn obssessed wtf.

Me: Ya, at myself. I look so nice. Not fat. Good angle. Oh my god la.

CM: CHIU. I thought Jon.

Me: No man. Myself.

And she was left speechless haha.

Supposedly there were more pictures, of everyone else. But Adrienne said she didn't look nice in any so she only gave me this two pics of us. Boooo :(((

Also met Marc partying there in Zouk and he coloured his hair ash green! :O

Not exactly very visible in the pic but yeah, it was ash green heheh.

Met Joh there, very funny guy haha.

Yes, I stole these pics from Marc and Adrienne. Kindly refer to previous post about my camera mishap :(

T'was a fun night indeed. Love loveeee ♥ ♥

That's what you get when you let your heart win.

Have always been loving this quote by Marilyn Monroe. I believe I have posted this quote on my blog before once. But right now, let's just re-post it.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

君ならできると思ってたけど・・・

Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad.

Finally, pictures! Now where should I start from? Okay, let's start from our road trip up to Penang and Flo's stay here in KL for the few days.

She's always holding food -___-



Awesome posum fruit ice kacang!

Words can't describe how awesome this was. If only they had this back in KL :(

Rojak! With slimy slimy sauce.

Mi amor.



I had to tiptoe T_____________T

Then it was Eric's 21st in Quattro on Friday night! It's been a long while since I've last been to Quattro. And well, let's just say my last visit there didn't end up quite well.

The birthday boy :)

And I met my long lost friend in the party! We were classmates during Form 1 (yes, that was eons ago) back in high school and have never met each other since. Funny what a coincidence it was :)

Marsh, tall as always :(

Then there was Saturday night. The crazy night which I had to walk all around Zouk and discovered how small the world really is. Will blog about it more when I get the pictures :))

On an unrelated note, my camera screen cracked!! Freaked me out when I saw a complete blank screen flickering when I turned my camera on. It could still snap pictures and the files are still fine, but... I can't view the pictures I took anymore unless I connect it to the laptop. FML.

T_________________T

Soon you will see that you were meant for me, and I was meant for you.

I'm down with a flu and cough again. I have no idea why I'm so pariah (yea, that's the word) recently. So, applying to the past precedents of me being sick, I tend to engage into attention seeking activities from potential victims. But, sometimes it backfires.

Situation 1 (text):

Me: Eh, I'm coughing so much it's annoying me. And my tummy is painful.
A: Period cramp.
Me: Nooooo. I don't know why it's painful. Fuck the cough.
A: Get some rest. Ttyl.

T____________________T

Fail. First it was period cramp, then came a ttyl. Epic fail.

Situation 2:

kamen says (4:01 PM):
*eh if feel hot and cold means fever rite

ĴØŇ says (4:01 PM):
*yeah

kamen says (4:01 PM):
*shit

ĴØŇ says (4:01 PM):
*u got h1n1 issit
*LOL

kamen says (4:01 PM):
*no man
*fuck
*omg. im gonna die alone here man

ĴØŇ says (4:02 PM):
*i'll put a ps3 in ur grave

kamen says (4:07 PM):
*then what if i suddenly stopped replying you and i pengsan-ed
*would u come save meee

ĴØŇ says (4:08 PM):
*i wouldn't even notice
*HAHAHA

Fucker. I hate him, seriously haha. He never lets go of any possible chance to annoy the shit outta me.

Situation 3:

kamen says (4:06 PM):
*eh
*what if i pengsan like u did
*will u come save me?

*`//¤»Chingy«¤- says (4:06 PM):
*huh what kind of question is that

kamen says (4:06 PM):
*attention seeking question

*`//¤»Chingy«¤- says (4:07 PM):
*ahahha
*wtf
*ya ya
*of course
*anything for u

Another sarcastic ass. Apparently she was so sick she literally passed out yesterday hahaha! Stupid. Sick also wanna choose the same time. What's wrong with us? Lol.

Now where is Pei Ling... hmmmmm...

(I remember she was the nice loving caring one who brought me to eat porridge when I was so sick. I wonder if she'd do it again huhu. *manja*)

This ain't a song for the broken hearted.

Short update:

Flo baby was in KL from Monday till today (Thursday). Dropped her off at the bus station today afternoon at 2.15pm sharp. Yes you guessed it, her bus leaves exactly at that time too. Yet, she said "Don't worry, it'll wait for me." Yea I'm sure.

As I've mentioned earlier, the bunch of us drove all the way up to Penang to fetch her down to KL. Somehow, our journey to Penang seemed a tad bit longer (I guess it was due to the rests we took thinking that we have so much time to spare). She brought us here and there, mostly for food and we drove back to KL around 5pm.

Spent all three half days with her 24/7, literally. But it still isn't enough. Funny that both of us missed the same things we used to do together back then when we saw each other everyday - how we could spend hours sitting down and talking continuously. So yeah, we shot off to Gardens the first thing we woke up the next day.

Having all our late night talks till I eventually fall asleep, having those stupid lame jokes which only we would understand (apparently we're the guru level), exchanging those glances at each other when someone says something and having a telepathic inside joke (seriously!) and realising that we haven't stopped talking since the moment we saw one another. Yes, we only stopped when we were sleeping, like... literally.

Pictures will be up real soon, hopefully tomorrow. Can't wait till you're back in KL again 2 weeks later baby ♥ ♥