Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Give our love a chance for one more day.

Stupid excuses.

Honestly, I find them so unreasonable and absurd. So unacceptable.
Can't you understand... and can't I understand?
Everything happening recently, the things I've been told - they're making me start to have doubts.
Thinking twice. Or maybe thrice. Or perhaps more.
Sleeping my days off, only waking up when people get off work. And meeting different people everyday, the momentary distractions. I occupy myself with random shows I find daily just so my mind would be blank.
I thought it would lift my mind off things. I thought it would make me busy.
I question myself, I doubt myself. This has gotta be the worst state I could ever get myself into.
I guess I just care too much sometimes.

Lies I don't even bother clarifying anymore.
Excuses I don't even bother arguing over anymore.
Stories I don't even bother telling anymore.
What's the point or making things so obvious when it's already shown so clearly through actions?
Cuz actions speak louder than words.
Ah, so heartbreaking.

So much happening, so many upsetting news. Too much I had to figure out slowly.
I wished I could tell you how my day went. I wished I could tell you the things troubling me.
I wished we could even have a proper conversation instead of rushed, emotionless ones.
I wished there was really a wish.

It's so pointless to say those words anymore. It's so imbecile to make those efforts anymore.
Cuz too much effort would only kill us gradually - cuz it takes two hands to clap and two to tango.
I think I should give up. Cuz holding on hurts too much.
Giving up would get me what I want, or so I thought. At least it'll relief me from the torment, the questions, the doubts, the depression.
If a cold shoulder is more preferable than a warm heart, then so be it.

I wish, time would gradually make it seem right.

And I wish it could've hurt less.

You have no idea how bad these sleepless nights are, miserably forcing myself to sleep slightly before the sun rises.

No comments: