Wish you were here.

I guess I really have to come to terms with the very fact that we really ended, that there's no more we in this. No more you and I, no more we. Maybe I find it particularly hard to do so because it's been too long. Maybe just a mere 2 years to others, but it felt so much more already.

My blogging pattern have been so screwed up recently that it's basically just conversations I wanted to get through to you. I guess it's time to blog normally all over again.

I admit, it's extremely hard. This year haven't been exactly an easy one. As it is, it didn't even start off well already. Then it just got worst. In a sense that things started to screw up more and more.

I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry. I think I've said the most number of Sorry's this whole week than I ever had in my entire life. Not like it could change anything, but that was all I could do. Or cry day and night. You have no idea how terrible I feel deep inside. If I could, I would've dug this whole rotten heart out and slash out whichever part which fucked up, causing us to be where we are right now.

I'm sorry you had to fight so hard for too long on your own. I'm sorry for all the times I made you feel that way. A million sorry's and endless tears would never make a difference anymore. I'm already paying the price of my actions.

Come to think of it. Was it all really worth it? Through this whole duration, trust was shattered, friendship ties broken, smiles lost and happiness bailed on us. We've all lost more than we gained. You said you're too tired and you've lost all energy. It's just the same for me. I guess I finally know how it feels, to fight till I'm battle-scarred and finally reach the state that I feel so numbed inside out already.

So numbed that I really can't be bothered with anything anymore. Come what may.

Ultimately, I wish for your happiness and I hope you'll meet someone super awesome in the future. Someone as great as yourself. Cuz you deserve much much better. I hope she'll treat you right and love you the way you deserve to be, and lastly, love you for the part which I failed to do.

I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I don't know how else to express how sorry I am anymore.

And maybe, in my next life, if I ever get a chance to, I promise I'll do much better than this. I promise I'll stick to all the promises we've made together and make sure we achieve it. Like Rose. As stupid or childish as it may sound, I promise I'll be good enough to be your girl - in my next life.

I wish you all the best, my once upon a time love.

You smelly skunk.

Angels cry.

Oh the lyrics it kills.

其实没有我你分不清那些差别
结局还能多明显？

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着，要怎么停呢？

你曾是
我吻过我爱过也伤过
拥有过却错过的情人
这样太残忍
你现在总是可以保持陌生

You were once the person whom
I've kissed, loved and hurt.
The lover whom I've had but lost.
This is too cruel
That now you have every right to remain distant.

你吻过伱爱过也恨过
拥抱过却犯错的情人
我不能过问
没权力再问她是否对的人。

I was once the person whom
You've kissed, loved and hated
The lover whom you've hugged but wronged you.
I have not a single right to ask
If she is the right person anymore.

非要等到爱远走，分两头
才知道多不舍你走

Only realised how much I couldn't take you leaving
When love started drifting away, splitting us into two.

一直有句话要说,
你是我今生今世的守候。

I guess Google translate could never translate the last line into something which makes sense, and you probably can't care less anymore than to check this space, let alone be bothered by what it means.

I don't know what to feel already.

Imy.

Broken Strings.

A song that matches us perfectly. So ironic.

Let me hold you for the last time,

It's the last chance to feel again.

But you broke me, now I can't feel anything.

When I love you, it's so untrue,

I can't even convince myself.

When I'm speaking, it's the voice of someone else.

Oh it tears me up.

I tried to hold on but it hurts too much.

I tried to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay.

You can't play on broken strings,

You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel.

I can't tell you something that ain't real.

Oh the truth hurts, lies worst.

How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before?

What are we doing?

We are turning into dust.

Playing house in the ruins of us.

Turning back to the fire when there's nothing left to save.

It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late.

非要等到爱远走，分两头，才发现多不舍你走.

Would it still matter to you?

就像每段爱总会有终点.

Why do they make it sound so easy?

It's so sad that even words, promises and faith wouldn't work anymore.

But baby, I loved you.

Really.

I don't know how else to fight anymore.

Nothing seems to be right already.

Funny how two years down the road, I see my heart in pieces on the floor again.

Thrown by the very same person who once picked everything up and patiently mended them back together again.

I hope you're happy.

Well, I guess you are. I mean, you said you haven't been happy in the longest time ever.

And right now you are - without me.

Well, I know I'm not. How could I be happy without you, when you have been my happiness in the past 2 years?

I guess it's karma, that you broke my heart so badly this time around, and I'm not blaming anyone.

I really hope you're happy.

And it seemed everlasting, that you would always be mine.

My heart shattered when Always Be My Baby was playing.

I'm so tired.

Good night you.

Why must we constantly misunderstand each other?

If only all the problems would go away like the hair they've cut off.

With just a snip of the blade.

On another note, I've gotten a new haircut.

You'll probably laugh at me saying I look more alien monkey or something. I wouldn't know.

Took me a rough 3-4 hours to get my hair done, and I realised my head never stopped through those hours.

And you know what's funny?

I can't even figure out what I've been trying to figure out. Like poof. My head just went blank.

Save me.

It's been a week, 7 days.

And guess what's 7 days down the road.

It could have been waiting for us.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.

I wish we could be like them.

I wish we could brave through the differences.

I wish we could smile like we did in the pictures.

I wish we could have lasted through.

I really thought we would.

Silly as, but once upon a time, I really thought we'd pull through and one day I'll be your lady in white and we'll have a happy future together.

Wishful thinking.

Imy, alot.

We almost had it all.

I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long.

Funny how this Christmas, penguin toys seem to be everywhere and every shop suddenly decides to sell penguins.

Gets me wondering whether is it part of a joke played on me.

To constantly remind me effortlessly.

Remember how we were looking for penguin toys everywhere and we couldn't find them?

And now, they're everywhere.

As if they're sneering at how I lost so much, at how penguins would now be past tense.

So messed up, everything is.

My head hurts.

When will it ever stop spinning?

I think I should go to bed before I start crying uncontrollably again.

Yeah... I think I should.

Good night you.

也许在不同的时空，还牵着你的手.

- maybe at a different dimension, i'm still holding your hand.

If only we could have had the time to travel somewhere together,

Smiling together,

Thinking that our time together will never come to an end,

And we'd have every tomorrow.

*

"People say that bad memories causes the most pain, but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane."

- Unknown.

What I'd do to have you here.

I don't want to think anymore.

My head's everywhere. And you probably think I'm stupid, mindless, or anything harsh you can think of.

You don't, and won't want to understand my thoughts for known reasons. And I can't ask for you to understand.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't think the same way you do.

For today, please let my head take a rest. And my heart too.

Imy.

Leave some morphine at my door.

- cuz it'll take a whole lot of medication, to realise what we used to have, we don't have it anymore.


Just like the clouds, my eyes would the same

If you walk away

Everyday it'll rain.

Tonight I wanna cry.

Hey you,

How I wished everything could be just like these two cute figurines in the picture. Simple and lovely.

Sometimes, I really wish I could turn back time, rewind everything and undo what was done. But sadly, in reality it isn't really like that. I hate how everything and anything anywhere reminds me so badly of us and how we used to be. Even the smallest detail would remind me a slight scene of what we once had. Because we knew each other that much.

How are you doing? I really hope you are doing fine. Being healthy and not hurting yourself.

I admit, that I miss everything. What we once had, what we always do, even if it was just plain routine life, our past and mostly, you. I don't know how we ended up this way. I hate the fact that I wake up crying everyday being in the worst form ever.

Great regret, self hate, disgust. It's like a cycle which haunts me alongside the memories we had every single day since.

I really really hope you're doing much better than me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to break my promises and can't fulfill the future we promised each other anymore.

With love, your alien monkey face.

In another life, I would be your girl.

Touché.

The memories, they're killing me. And I'm weak.


You have no idea how weird it feels when you're not here to tuck me in to bed like how you used to do every night.

The one who got away.

Talk about our future like we had a clue,
Never planned that one day I'd be losing you.

In another life, I would be your girl.
We keep all our promises, be us against the world.
In another life, I would make you stay.
So I don't have to say,
You were the one who got away.

All these money can't buy me a time machine,
Can't replace you with a million rings.

In another life, I would be your girl.
We keep all our promises, be us against the world.
In another life, I would make you stay.
So I don't have to say,
You were the one who got away.

The One Who Got Away - Katy Perry.

I wish nothing but the best for you.

The gift that never got to its owner's hands.

I'll always love you, and I'm sorry.

感谢那是伱牵过我的手.

我这句语气原来好像你，不就是我们爱过的证据？

差一点骗了自己骗了你，爱于被爱不一定成正比。
我知道被疼是一种运气，但我无法完全交出自己。

努力为你改变却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天可是昨天已非常遥远

可惜不是你陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是伱牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔。

重来.

想要跟你一起走到最后，但我遗失了地图
谁给谁束缚？谁比谁辛苦？

好的事情最后虽然结束
感动十分就有十分满足。

谢谢你，是你陪我走过那些路

痛，是以后无法再给你幸福。

一百句，一千句「对不起」
也应该无法弥补对你的亏欠
我们剩下的一步，
就只有划下
遗憾的句号。

可惜不是你，陪我到最后.

; Would you settle for the unchanging but unsatisfying,

Or the satisfying but uncertain?

; Would you succumb to the guilt corroding your conscience,

Or the happiness which comes at the cost of another's happiness?

You'll always be my baby.

Hey you,

It's just not that easy for me to go back. Have you ever thought that maybe there's no turning back anymore? That no matter how hard we try, things are never gonna be the same anymore. I really want to go back. It's hard trying to get over things everyday when I wake up. In fact, I really dread waking up everyday.

I just want to start afresh. I just want to feel free.

I know it's killing the both of us inside. But maybe, just maybe, time will make everything better. As much as I miss you and us together, maybe it's time to move on. I hate crying everyday. It felt like it's been so long since I've woke up feeling that today is gonna be a great day. I'm so sick of feeling so pathetic everyday.

I just want to be free and happy.

And I just want to stop saying I don't know.

Now you want to be free so I'm letting you fly.

Hey you,

You know... you made me realise how much tears I've cried for the past 10 days. I didn't even realise it myself till you pointed it out. Deep down some part in me, I am dying to go home. I wished everything didn't turn out the way it did right now. I wish I didn't screw up.

Maybe things have became so rotten and broken that I'd choose to start anew already. I know you think this is utter nonsense that makes completely no sense. Or you might probably be so pissed at me to think of anything else already.

It's breaking me inside, whatever that's left of my rotten heart, bit by bit. I'm too lost and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I can't hold your hand blindly, as much as I want to. I know I'm being brainlessly stupid for doing this. I know I might probably regret all these one day. I do miss you badly and it's been too long since we've last hugged. We're both devastated I know. But what are we to do?

Every inch of my heart and body is dying to make all this come to an end. I'm on the edge.

Just shoot me, please.

Seems like it's been forever since you've been gone.

Hey you,

I'm sorry I had to say all those harsh things. You have no idea how badly my heart ached hearing you that way on the phone. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go home, to where it's safe and tranquil. I'm sorry. I'm just messed up that way, or maybe like you - I am too stubborn for my own good.

I really miss those days we had, the days we'd laugh for stupid reasons and do brainless things that nobody would ever know. I'd trade the world to correct what went wrong before it became too late. I would've promised to love you right, to make myself worthy of your love. But I'm not, and nothing could change the fact that I'll never ever be worthy of such great love. I'm sorry I had to break your heart that way. I'm sorry.

Please, take good care of yourself no matter what. Promise me.

Where'd you go, I miss you so.

Hey you,

How are you doing? Have you been studying? Have you been hitting the gym everyday? Have you been doing your chores on time? Have you been smoking less? Have you been smiling more?

Funny how it feels like it was such a blessing that we had, though the life we had was a routine. Sadly, we never knew how to appreciate those days which flew by just like that. We always thought we had tomorrow. I always thought I'd have everyday to do the same things with you over and over again. I'd do anything to turn back time, I'd give my life for that.

If only I had the courage to fight. It sucks, knowing that I can't seem to fight anymore even though you'd forgive everything that's happened. If only I had the courage to face you after all that's happened.

I miss you.

Remember the last time I went Penang, I told you I bought us something? I guess, it's a gift I never managed to pass to you. I thought these pigs were so extremely cute and reminded me of us. And probably Rose too. I wanted to place them on the dashboard of your car. I wanted you to like them too.

I guess it's never happening already. I'm sorry, love.

I'm sorry this had to happen to us.

谢谢你从来没有觉得我不够好，
谢谢你守护我的每一分每一秒，
谢谢当天塌下来 你也会帮我顶着.

Thank you for never thinking that I wasn't good enough.
Thank you for always being there for me
every minute and every second.
Thank you for protecting me
even if the sky were to collapse on us.

也许以後再也没人比你更爱我，
也许以後我也不可能再那样活，
每当想起你的时候快乐都比较多，
也许快乐是时间的幽默.

Maybe nobody would ever love me like you did anymore.
Maybe I can never live that way anymore.
And every time I think of you,
It is always flooded with happiness.
And maybe,
Happiness was a joke time played on us.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

I know sorry means nothing to you. I know you too well to know that... but I really can't come up with anything else to say other than sorry.

I wished we could back in time and stop whatever that was breaking us, bit by bit. I wished we there was pause or rewind button, to rewind everything that went wrong and to pause those happy times a long long time ago. So long ago that we probably have forgotten them ourselves. Those smiles we had, we were so happy. I wished.

I'm sorry I'm such a mess right now. I'm sorry I had to put you through this.

There's nothing left to say.

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try.
You deserve to have so much more,
I can feel your heart and I sympathize.
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life.

I don't want to let you down,
I don't want to lead you on,
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong.

You would never ask me why my heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore.
I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye.

You deserve the chance and the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of.
Losing you is painful to me.

I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry.
There's nothing left to try,
Though it's gonna hurt us both,
There's no other way than to say goodbye.

- Goodbye by Air Supply.

如果抱歉有用的话...

对不起。
很不负责任的把选择权交给了你。

对不起。
很自私的放弃了我们的一切。

对不起。
还未能好好的把所有的爱都给你。

对不起。
忘记了牵着你的手，让自己不小心的走错路。

对不起。
很任性的遗弃了说好的永远。

对不起。
很愚蠢的把我们的幸福留在转角。

对不起。
已经无法跟你完成曾对彼此承诺过的梦。

对不起。
总是学不会珍惜拥有的一切。

对不起。
要等到最后才发现原来时间不是必然的。

对不起。
因为我的粗心让你伤透了心。

对不起
成为你的错爱，浪费了你的温柔。

或许
是我不配吧。

也或许
我没那种福分做那个
你会抱在胸怀小心翼翼疼的那个女孩吧。

愿你早日找到那个会好好珍惜和爱你的那个女孩。
她...
一定会是全世界
最幸福的女人。

这我很肯定，
因为
我也曾经以为我会是那个女人。

亲爱的，
对不起。

但愿人长久.

人有悲欢离合, 月有阴晴圆缺
此事古难全

但愿人长久, 千里共婵娟.

*

七夕节快乐!

今日は七夕だよん！

恋人達が皆ずっと幸せでいるように願いましょう！

*

Today is the Chinese Valentines' Day (July 7th) and coincidentally is also the Japanese Valentines' Day which is more commonly known as Tanabata. Each Chinese kid would probably already have heard about the story already, which was quite a romantic one back then actually.

For those bananas who haven't heard of the story yet, please click here.

Do enjoy. And may all the lovers in the world have a happy and joyous path ahead with each other :)

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd, you're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud.

Omg a very very overdue post! I completely forgot about it until well, till I was looking around my albums and remembered that I haven't posted anything about this on my blog.

Two weeks ago, I got the chance to work along the people who organized the Japan Super GT race in Malaysia, which was obviously held in the F1 Circuit in Sepang. Worked as the Japanese translator/interpreter for the entire event which lasted for 3 days.

Day 1: Race Practice

My uniform!



The awesome view of the track from the HQ office.

Needless to say, it was easy to acquire a good view of the entire race without the need to join the hassle in the crowd at the Grandstand with food and chilled drinks :)

The Media Center, where all the media people are stationed at.



Practicing.

Day 2: Qualifying Race

Started the morning by helping abit here and there since I was rather free.

Meet Galvin, who was kind enough to walk around the entire place with me to paste these soft boards.

I swear, the place is huge. I'm pretty sure those who have actually been to the Sepang race track would know how far of a walk the entire place is - and this includes the Paddock area. Crazy walk.

A rather cmi picture of us but yeah.

Galvin and I sabo-ed a buggy and went around driving it, which saved so much of walking for us! As jackoon as it might sound, it was my first time driving a buggy. It felt like driving a bumper car, really. And since then, we've been driving that buggy for 2 consecutive days till we got so sick of it we'd rather walk (wtf).

For some reasons, this reminds me of Fast & Furious haha.

One of the cars in the car show. There were so many cars ranging from your usual Ferrari, Porsche, Lambo, Vespa, Harley's, to even Rolls Royce (I felt like a low life, really).

Met Yvonne who was also working there. It's been so long since I've last seen her!

(Excuse my cmi face please. It's the FHM GND last year, you can't blame me for looking ugly next to her)



This, is a small part of the ultimate long queue waiting to enter for the pitwalk.

Here's a little anal thing I'd like to share. Galvin and I were so bored we decided to piss people off by just walking in while everyone else was still waiting. Just because we had the all access pass which enabled us to enter wherever and whenever we want. What asses we were seriously (lol).

Day 3: The Actual Race

Clearly, this is the real deal but by this time, our ears were half deaf already for obvious reasons. My left eardrum was literally hurting on the third/last day already.

This, is something I found really cool.

Before the race started, there was a gathering of super cars for the Malaysian Book of Records and it reached a total number of 405 super cars on the track. I have never ever seen so many super cars all gathered in one place in the past 20 over years of my life - and man, it was bloody awesome even for a non-car person like me.

One of the snapshots taken from the track during the gathering (all thanks to the access pass nonetheless).



The deafening race.



Meet Ayami, the Japanese GT Queen who I was suppose to be doing translating for also.

She is super super cute omg! Haha now I sound like one of those fangirls. And please excuse my cmi face yet again.



The Smelly came to visit too! :D

Fortunately, I managed to catch the very beautiful sunset in Sepang right when the entire event ended. I felt so lucky at that moment.

Yeap, that concluded my entire weekend back then. The whole routine of waking up at 5am (on a bloody weekend!) and only sleeping around 12am for three consecutive days. Not complaining though. It was a great experience anyone could have at this age and I'm happy that I managed to be exposed to events as such. It's really different from attending the race for the fun of it.

And lastly, a vain self pic to conclude the post :)

Hee!

记得.

虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后我们都不知道会有以后.

I'm also afraid,
That we might not have tomorrow after the dark ends.

我们都累了, 却没办法往回走
两个心都迷惑
怎么说, 怎么说都没有救

We're both sick and tired but we can't look back anymore,
Both hearts lost,
And no words could save anything already.

亲爱的, 为什么?
也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人等着对方先说想分开的理由.

Love, tell me why.
But maybe you might not know why either.
The reason why two lovers are waiting for each other to say goodbye.

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候?
我和你的眼中看见了不同的天空
走得太远终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我要有两个相反的梦?

Who'd still remember when did love started to change?
We started to see a different sky in our eyes.
We moved too far and now we're at the intersection
Is it that both of us have to have opposite dreams?

我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后...

We promised that we'd hold hands and walk till the very end.

So many things were left unsaid, it's hard to let you go.

忠诚.

简简单单的两个字, 含义却那么重.
至少对我是.

感情就像纯白的一张纸.
一开始时干干净净.
时间久了, 伤痕多了, 也多了眼泪的痕迹.
互相相爱到互相伤害
到最后谁又会记得当初的美好?

感情, 就是这样.
既美丽又凄美.

人说失去了才懂得珍惜.
可是我更加认同人不是不懂得珍惜,
只是拥有时觉得不可能有一天会失去
所以选择不珍惜.

人说如果跟某人有缘分的话
就算现在不能在一起
以后总有一天是会在一起的.
这句话, 足够让我相信吗?

如果能让我们在读Taylor's时就认识,
或许结果会不一样.
如果能让我们在几年后才认识,
或许结果也会不一样.
可是为什么偏偏让我们在这时相识?
也许只能说一句天意弄人吧.

放手, 我做到吗?
潇洒两个字离我很远, 该怎么办?

你曾是我吻过, 我爱过也伤过
拥有过却错过的情人
你吻过, 你爱过也恨过
拥抱过却犯错的情人.

非要等到爱远走分两头
才知道多不舍你走
才知道谁都怕寂寞.

For all we know, we might not have tomorrow...

咖啡.

一场失败的爱情像个笑话
热的时候心乱如麻
冷了以后看见自己够傻
人怎么会如此容易无法自拔?

一场无味的爱情像个谎话
甜的时候只相信它
苦了以后每一句都可怕
人怎么如此难以了无牵挂?

安静.

Speechless. Have been looping this song the whole day.

安静 by Jay Chou

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼我自己离开.

I don't believe when you said you'll be upset too
Holding you and having you by my side has now become the past.
I really hope that he will love you much more than I do
Then only I'll force myself out of this.

你要我说多难堪, 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过?
我没有这种天份, 包容你也接受他
不用担心地太多, 我会一直好好过.

How do you want me to be? I don't even want to part.
Why must you still want me to leave with a smile?
I am not talented enough,
To accept that you have him too.
Don't worry too much about me, I'll be fine.

你已经远远离开, 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你?
我真的没有天份, 安静得没这么快
我会学着放弃你
是因为我太爱你.

You're walking further away and I'll slowly walk away too.
Why is it that I still listen to you when we part?
I am really not talented enough.
I will learn to slowly let you go,
That's because I love you too much.

Kill me.

至少不再让你离我而去.

"试着抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气.

试着让故事继续
分散时间的注意
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
想回到过去."

Day 20: A Song You Listen To When You're Angry

Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan

Day 19: A Song From Your Favourite Album.

发如雪 by Jay Chou

All time favourite song. All fucking time.

Keep on dancing till the world ends.

After a long long hiatus from my partying days, finally popped to Zouk for Jee King's big day with a few more friends, and his missus of course.

We had dinner at Delicious, Bangsar before heading over to Zouk with the Smelly too.

The birthday boy with the lala pose wtf.

The durian cake was so awesome! But we couldn't have too much in case we smell horrible in the club later ahaha.

The King of the day and his missus.

The Smelly :)

At Zouk with the rest of the group!

Without the birthday boy. Reason being he was constantly missing from the place.

With the buddy! :3

Not many pictures were taken and all were taken using my phone, which explains the bad quality. And as for the last picture, vain self pic of yours truly :)

Sorry for the lack of words. I'm too lazy to type anything :x

Day 18: A Song You Wish You Heard On The Radio

Always Be My Baby by David Cook

Day 17: A Song That You Hear Often On The Radio

Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money ft. Skylar Grey

Day 16: A Song You Used To Love But Now You Hate

Bloody sick of this song hahaha.

童话 by 光良

不能握的手从此匿名的朋友.

This is hard, really.

遗憾或后悔, 两者之间该怎么选择?
这...算是背叛吗?

只可是我又有什么资格说「遗憾」?
遗憾的是没有早点遇见你吗?
还是遗憾我们就次划下句点?
那晚仅剩那么一点的理智,
我们又能把持多久?

后悔, 是后悔没有把你捉紧
还是害怕失去了他的后悔?
选择遗憾就不会有后悔.
可是, 说真的... 我不知道该怎么办.

算了.
就写到这吧.

Day 15: A Song That Describes You

Reflection by Christina Aguilera

Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love

Numb by Linkin Park

Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure

All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u

Day 12: A Song From The Band You Hate

Hmmm... good question. Which band do I actually hate? Ah, I know. I just generally dislike them.

Love Bug by Jonas Brothers

Day 11: A Song From Your Favourite Band

Oh shit. I don't have a favourite band. So can I just post a song I like from any band? Heh.

That's What You Get by Paramore

Someday You Will Be Loved

I once knew a girl in the years of my youth

With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved.

- Someday You Will Be Loved by Death Cab For Cutie.

Accidentally came across this song on the net. Ah, nostalgic. I can't deny that there was this weird feeling inside of me which I can't put into words when I first saw the lyrics to this song. Time flies. It's been that long.

To all those who's once have their heart brokened. :)

Day 10: A Song That Makes You Sleep

Cuppycake Song

This song is too cute!! Like a lullaby.

Day 9: A Song You Can Dance To

Like A G6 by Far East Movement

Day 8: A Song That You Know All The Words To

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith

A classic.

Day 7: A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event

Hatin' On The Club by Rihanna ft. The Dream

Zouk @11/4/2009.

Day 6: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere

Pokerface by Lady Gaga

Singapore with the Cousin! A very memorable song till now, due to unforeseen circumstances one fine night in Sg hahaha. Can never forget that.

Day 5: A Song That Reminds You Of Someone

Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

You, definitely :)

Day 4: A Song That Makes You Sad

Let Go by m-flo loves yoshika

Never fails to bring a stinging pain to my heart.

Day 3: A Song That Makes You Happy

If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland ft. Katy Perry

One of the happiest times I've had in some time. Back when partying was a daily routine with my loves. It wasn't the partying that was enjoyable. It was the great company and laughter which accompanied the fun.

This song never fails to remind me of them. My partners in crime, regardless whether in class, or outside.

Day 2: Your Least Favourite Song

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

It's personal. I just hate her voice generally.

30 Day Song Challenge

So yeah, seen this around Facebook and thought it would be fun to do it - but I didn't wanna spam my Facebook profile with nonsense like this haha. Here goes...

Day 1: Your favourite song.

Way too many. So I guess I'll just name the first one that comes to my head.

Soba Ni Iru Ne by Thelma Aoyama ft. Soulja

My love for you was strong enough you should've known.

if you ignore a problem long enough,

will it be as good as being gone?

but i can't get over it.

a simple thing, refused over and over again.

what else is left for me to say?

it's never my turn anyway.



let's go on a trip, anyone? :)

你也不必牵强再说爱我
反正我的灵魂已片片掉落

Feel the adrenaline moving under my skin.

Well, it's that time when I resort to doing meme's again. Yeah, I'm that bored. Anything to get myself off studying wtf. So yeah, here goes.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage -> Vitagen (Grape)
2. Last phone call -> the Smelly
3. Last text message -> the Smelly
4. Last song you listened to -> More Than Words by Sungha Jung
5. Last time you cried -> hmmm, give me some time.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice -> Nope.
7. Been cheated on -> Nope.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it -> Yes.
9. Lost someone special -> Yes.
10. Been depressed -> Yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up -> Yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Red
13. Pink
14. Black

LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend -> Yes.
16. Fallen out of love -> Nope.
17. Laughed until you cried -> Hell yeah.
18. Met someone who changed you -> Nope.
19. Found out who your true friends were -> Yes.
20. Found out someone was talking about you -> Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list -> Yes.

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life -> Erm, all of them obviously?
24. Do you have any pets -> They died :(
25. Do you want to change your name -> Nope.
26. What did you do for your last birthday -> Dinner with the Smelly and some bunch of close friends.
27. What time did you wake up today-> 9.30 am.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night -> Watching drama episodes on tv.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for -> Getting my pay.
30. Last time you saw your Mother -> Today?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life -> I'll choose to keep that private.
32. What are you listening to right now -> The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars (yes, very mainstream. so what?)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? -> Yeap.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now -> Copycats and ugly people who think they are drop dead hot. Sorry, but that's true.
35. Most visited webpage -> Facebook
37. Nickname -> Does being called piggy by the Smelly count?
38. Relationship Status -> In a relationship.
39. Zodiac sign -> Scorpio
40. He or She -> She
41. Elementary -> Sri Cempaka, Bukit Damansara
43. College -> Taylors' University College
44. Hair color -> Reddish brown (my original colour was black of course).
45. Long or short -> Longggggg.
46. Height -> 160cm.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? -> Smelly? Lol wtf.
48. What do you like about yourself? -> Haha what kinda question is this dude?
49. Piercings -> Two on each ear.
50. Tattoos -> None
51. Righty or lefty-> Proud to be a lefty!

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery-> None
53. First piercing -> When I was 15?
54. First best friend-> Haha I'm not gonna name any names here.
55. First sport you joined -> Badminton.
56. First vacation -> Wow, who would remember?
58. First pair of trainers -> Years ago.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating -> No.
60. Drinking -> No.
61. I'm about to -> Finish this meme.
62. Listening to-> Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing.
63. Waiting for -> Time to pass.


YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? -> Yes
65. Get Married? -> Yes
66. Career? -> Definitely not a lawyer.


WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes -> Lips
68. Hugs or kisses -> Hugs
69. Shorter or taller -> Taller
70. Older or Younger -> Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous -> Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms -> Arms
73. Sensitive or loud -> Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship -> Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant -> Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger -> No
77. Drank hard liquor-> Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts -> Yes
79. Sex on first date -> No
80. Broke someone's heart -> Yes
81. Had your own heart broken -> Yes
82. Been arrested -> No
83. Turned someone down -> Yes
84. Cried when someone died -> No
85. Fallen for a friend -> Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself -> Yes
87. Miracles -> Yes
88. Love at first sight -> No.
89. Heaven -> Yes
90. Santa Claus -> No
91. Kiss on the first date -> Yes.
92. Angels -> Yes

There. I'm done. Halfway through this, I kinda regretted I started it. But I was desperate to have something to do so whatever.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?

she's going out to forget they were together
all the time he was taking her for granted
she wants to see if there's more than he gave she's looking for.

he calls her up, he's trippin on the phone now
he doesn't want her out there and alone now.

everybody put up your hands,
say i don't wanna be in love.

- Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte.

P.S. So, to "you know very well who you are", quickly come back in July and we'll party till dawn breaks.

Or am I just a roadblock in your way?

do you know how it feels,

to be the last in the priority and it doesn't even feel like one anymore?

do you know how it feels,

to be so sick of excuses you've given up hope?

do you know how it feels,

to be constantly waiting day and night for nothingness?

do you know how it feels,

to be so lonely even though you're with people?

do you know how it feels,

to be giving chances just to be let down again?

do you know how it feels,

to be making an effort and not knowing whether it's worth it or not?

do you know how it feels,

to be having doubts and nobody is there to even hear you out?

so,

could you teach me how to do what you have done?

or be cold like you are?

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由

那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口

那我宁愿对你从没认真过.

i'm starting to have doubts.

is this really worth the fight?

然而呼喊痛苦拉扯可是对?

Over the past weekend, I started rewatching this show all over again. If you're above 17 and watches Hong Kong dramas, you'll probably know of this show because it was quite a popular show back then in 2004.

Theme Song for TVB drama, War and Beauty.

I've watched this show 3 times already and well, it's my 4th time watching it this time. (Note that I never rewatch my shows) I remember I used to love this show so much I never missed a single episode and spent sleepless nights watching it. And if you've watched this show, I'm quite sure you'd love this theme song :)

But it had such a sad ending at episode 30 because almost everyone ends up dying! I hated Gigi Lai in this show. She was so annoying! But then again, I guess she's acted her part well enough to make people hate her and eventually winning the awards that year itself for Best Actress. Needless to say, I supported Charmaine all the way. She is so cute laaaa.

As for those who are completely clueless as to what I'm talking about, this show revolves among 4 women, who are the Emperor's concubines each scheming their way for various reasons - some to gain power and control, and some to plot revenge. At the same time being involved with scandals with 2 men in the Imperial City which led to their plot to escape the castle. In the end, all died but for two who managed to escape. Really, it's a show worth watching regardless of whether you're a couch potato or not.

So if you're one of those with nothing to do at home rotting everyday, do try to give this show a try :)

为何烧到猛火里，我都不介意伴随?

话我知

这生醒了又再醉

问苍天，有几多快活儿女?

So picking up the pieces now where to begin?

do people only learn to appreciate things once they're gone?

isn't that a little too late by then?

but then again, sometimes they might prefer it to be gone.

who knows.

perhaps, we've gone too far that we can never go back to how it was in the past anymore...

I thought it felt right but that right was wrong.

你用唇语说你要离开

心不在.

You hinted that you want to leave,

The heart is not there anymore.

转身离开，分手说不出来

海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外

我们的爱差异一直存在，回不来

等待竟累积成伤害

热情不再，

你的笑容勉强不来.

Turning my back to walk away, can't bear to say goodbye,

It was just a mistake when the seagull and fish fell in love,

There was always a gap in our love and we can't go back anymore,

The wait will only amount to more hurt.

The passion is not there anymore and

I can't force a smile on you anymore.

毁坏的沙雕如何重来？

有裂痕的爱怎么重盖？

只是一切结束太快，你说你无法释怀。

How to mend a broken statue?

How to mend a broken love?

Just that everything ended too quickly that it's hard to accept.

贝壳里隐藏什么期待?

我们也已经无心再猜.

面向海风, 咸咸的爱

尝不出还有未来.

What hope is hidden in the shell?

I don't think we're even bothered anymore.

Facing the salty sea breeze,

I couldn't feel any future anymore if this goes on.

Song: 珊瑚海 by Jay Chou ft. Lara.

*

大切されたいよ。誰でも同じでしょう？

大切のその人に大切されるって・・・

多分いない方がいいかも？

もしある日、

私があなたの世界から消えたら、

あなたはどうするでしょう？

後悔するか？恋しく感じる？

もしくは、自由に感じる？

もしある日、

私はもう続けないと言ったら、

あなたはどうするでしょう？

何でもう昔の様に戻れないの？

二人も嬉しくて、幸せだったその日々。

曖昧だなぁ・・・

今残ったのは何でしょうか・・・

私も知らなくなった・・・

Sitting in an empty room, trying to forget the past.

Down with flu, sore throat and cough - again.

So yeap, this shall be a cheating post with a vain snapshot of myself.

Times flies. In a blink of an eye, it's mid April already.

And just about time for my lovelies to be home soon. I've missed them enough.

Waiting for the end.

Waiting for the end to come,

Wishing I had strength to stand,

This is not what I had planned,

It's out of my control.

Sitting in an empty room,

Trying to forget the past,

This was never meant to last,

I wish it wasn't so.

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong,

All caught up in the eye of the storm

And trying to figure out what it's like moving on.

And I don't even know what kind of things I've said,

My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead.

So picking up the pieces, now where to begin?

- Waiting For The End by Linkin Park

You're so hypnotizing.

I know this is super mainstream but yeah, a song I have been looping for some days.

Ignore the lyrics. Ignore the mainstream factor. Ignore the video itself (pretty sick and disturbing actually... it's just weird).

But do try listening to the song :)

E.T. - Katy Perry ft. Kanye West

Kenangan Terindah.

aku yang lemah tanpamu.
aku yang rentan kerana
cinta yang telah hilang darimu yang mampu menyanjungku.

bila yang tertulis untukku adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan ku jadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
namun takkan mudah bagiku meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
yang telah terukir abadi sebagai kenangan yang terindah.

- Kenangan Terindah by Samsons.

The one Indonesian song that I will never ever get sick of listening to.

wait for me. don't go too fast.

i can't catch up.

so wait for me, will you?

See somehow I can't forget you after all that we have been through.

Lost.

I guess I should just leave it alone.

And see where it goes.

After all, it's only bothering me. Nobody else.

And not like that matters anyway.

I'll get used to it. Yeah, I will.

I just wanna sleep.

Then I won't have to face this overwhelming darkness.

The darkness of being fully awake.

我, 真的能无所谓吗?

如果有一天我突然离你而去,
你会为我伤心吗?

我想...你也应该没差吧.

亲爱的, 为什么?
也许你也不懂.
两个相爱的人等着对方先说想分开的理由.

Would it be different if I gave you time?

Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed.

This is what happens to me, like all the time!

Every. Single. Day.



So annoying T______________T

我们爱的没有错,

- 只是美丽的独秀太折磨.

Welcome to my work space :)

Yes, there's a Facebook tab constantly opened. Don't lie saying that you don't do the same. Meh.

*

Something is bugging me recently, and I can't figure out what. No, not work but something inside me feels weird. Or maybe it's just me being me. I really don't know.

I don't even know what I want out of it. It's probably just a phase.

Yeah, let's hope so...

Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.

why must times change?

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

finally.

the rain has stopped.

and the sun is shining back again.

let's hope this continues.

:)