Now that's all down the drain.

It all felt like a terrible nightmare which kept playing itself on loop.

October 2009, I could remember that night so clearly. It was a long night, a very long night indeed. And tiring. I gave, and expected nothing in return. What I didn't expected was, what was there for me next. And it lasted, till this very moment right now it did. Thought I would never make the same mistake I did anymore. I told myself that. Never regretted it, but I do remember telling myself that I'll never make the same mistake again.

April 2010 , I did the same mistake again. Yeah, you guessed it.

Different people, different place, same occasion, same shit.

It was as if I was reliving the same incident all over again. The things I did, the decisions I made, the things I said, the pain I went through. They were identical and nothing had changed. The only thing that was different? It was just a different name, a different face. This time, I couldn't take it anymore, the pathetic fact that this same shit is happening to me all over again. It's creepily similar, yet it was a completely different person altogether. What the fuck is wrong?

It just felt like you all over again, Mr. J.

Oh the irony.

I can never forget the way you walked off just like that.

I never will, I swear.

How unfair life can sometimes be. Oh, how pathetic.

Sometimes, I hate myself so much I wished I could give myself one tight slap on each side of my face.

I hate this horrible replay of a nightmare.