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I have always wondered to myself, there's got to be something wrong.
Now I know.
Seems like it was a name she gave.
I knew it. It's impossible that you're without a flaw.
Your initials told me so, Mr. J.
Managed to catch Twilight: New Moon today. Thank youuuu for being so nice to line up early morning :D
A went to line up for the tix early morning at around 9 something and we only managed to get front row seats. Like, 4th row from the front? Wtf.
Today, I looked back - I realised what a fool I was. And realised how much things have changed in the past 365 days. I was holding onto something which meant so much to me. Yet, it'd mean nothing to another.
Cuz if it did, he wouldn't have been so heartless.
I finally reminded myself of the girl I was a year ago.
I don't think I know her anymore... and I think I miss her.
I know that that phrase had been quoted a gazillion times in this blog of mine. So I decided to make it a title of my post today.
This phrase had been bothering me since... it was too long ago that I couldn't really remember when anymore. Perhaps, a good 7 months ago? Approximately. Or rather I should be asking myself this instead, "A good 7 months had passed, so why still ask?" As I've mentioned before, this phrase was never meant for myself. Possibly, it was meant for somebody else. Who knows. Maybe.
Not like I can ever figure out why. Not like there even is any answer to that. And even if it does, I'll never be able to find out anyway.
It'll be a lie if I say it doesn't matter anymore. But, what can I do... and who am I to be able to do anything. I don't know when it started, but some time ago, it started to feel as if everything I had - for that short duration of time - was so subtle... so close to being imaginary. Or rather, it felt more like a dream. But how can a dream leave so many scars behind... I really don't know.
I'm happy the way I am now, I really am. There's nothing more I could ask for. I block these thoughts out of my mind, I'm trying very hard already and I'm doing just fine right now. But, how real could this be? Or is it merely me being in a frail attempt to convince myself that some people are no longer there, where it matters the most?
Cuz it still hurts even if it heals, like mad.
So it was Alton's birthday on Saturday night. My first time to Rootz, this newly opened club at the highest floor in Lot 10. It was really packed, but fortunately we had the private room all to ourselves. Quite a decent place I guess.
Alton was pissed drunk that night (when is he not), and I doubt he remembers how he got home. Haha, bloody hilarious video of him posted on Facebook. Poor dude.
It was another singing session immediately after class yesterday. I swear, we sang like nobody's business. Like, almost 6 hours I think wtf. Well, it kinda became a chatting session towards the end about the jerks in our lives. Yes, jerks. Oh well.
Anyway, thanks babe, for the sheep! Well, she saw my sheep and said it was too cute and lonely. So she decided to buy another one to keep it company. Sorry babe, they kinda parted again. Only the white one you bought is with me now heheh. The other one is well...somewhere else :)
Finally updated the pics on Facebook! Ugh. I procrastinated far too long. Assignments! They're coming after me soon, real soon. And I'm perpetually hungry nowadays. That's bad.
That’s the thing about letting old lovers go. You don’t stop loving some of them. There are a couple you love no less than you ever did. You’re not going to try and make it work again, but if they needed you, you’d drop everything.— Tori Amos
Had a casual dinner with some family and friends. It was a really enjoyable dinner, (though we were late), but I really had fun that day. We had lots of laughs and talked more than we ever did. Too bad time had to pass so quickly :(
从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美
痛苦寂寞还有一些疲惫
不允许他人随意进入我的零度空间
宁愿孤独, 懒得再去想谁.
两个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰?
挣脱过去, 然后忘记一切
没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
谁会抓住我的无力双臂?
来不及的防备, 没听过的誓言
要我怎么学会多了爱的明天?
放下所有防备, 一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天
不会再哭.
- 若那一刻从来我不哭, 让他知道我可以很好.
Had a blasting good night last night. Had an early birthday celebration with the Cousin, Mom and her colleagues (who the Couz and I also happen to know) cuz there were quite a few November babies.
On an unrelated note, yes - if you happen to be one of those who have forgotten that it's my birthday month... well, it sucks to be you.
Anyway, yea. It was a really really enjoyable night and I'm pretty sure everyone had a blast, judging from the noise made. And sigh, the Cousin did it again. 3 times this time, or was it twice? God bless her. I think it's became a norm for her already every time we sing.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
— Douglas Adams
Hmm, another spontaneous after class activity huh? It was one of the great singing session I've had with friends It's been so long since I've managed to sing like this with friends heh :D:D
Super spontaneous trip to Genting. Yes, Genting. Like immediately right when lecture ended, we were bored and decided to get up there. Went home, changed, grabbed the camera and off we went.
Didn't take us long to reach, and believe it or not, it was my first time taking the cable car up to Genting (the very virgin-type first time was a few years ago when I had to take the cable car down to the bus station from Genting).
The weather was... rather dramatic. It was as if it was going through the time of the month, seriously. On our way up, it was raining and when we reached, it stopped. Then it started drizzling and stopped again. Then it started raining (again) and stopped (bloody hell again) and eventually started raining cats and dogs! It's really confusing. Cuz the rides won't be operating under the rain, so it's pretty annoying when you line up for the ride and when it's finally your turn, it starts to rain and you get turned away. Bloody shit.
But nevertheless, we still managed to catch a few rides that we wanted (fortunately) and had LOADS of fun. Well, some stupid things that you do really gives you lots of fun sometimes. Like, really.
I have a strong feeling, that this is -not- going to be our last visit there heheh :3
When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.
I miss you.
Tonight was the first time I set foot on Banting (a town located near Klang) for some reasons. It wasn't a long ride, reached there in no time and met up with PL. We spent quite some time at Banting and I swear, that girl has no faith in that place despite being an inhabitant of the place herself. Hahaha wtf.
Yam cha-ed at Banting, still and left back for KL at around 11 something. A very, very spontaneous trip to catch a movie at MV (which later on failed cuz every show had already started when we got there). After leaving MV, we decided to get back into MV again for karaoke wtf. Try beating that kinda spontaneous.
It's like taking a ride to an unknown destination, to a place I'm so strange to.
Part of me refused to get off the ride, from my territory where I'd feel safe in.
Where I could get off and hop on back anytime I wished.
Where I could run away from the past I've been dwelling in.
But should I forget everything and take off on another ride
Where I could possibly find my way?
So while I'm still contemplating,
Let me, just let me continue my ride.
Could you, drive me somewhere far away,
And let me lean on your shoulder without saying a word
So that I could cry my heart out?
For all those that's been bothering me so much.
So much that it's so bloody sickening.
I can't take it, really. I need to flee from this.
And finally be who I really am, doing what I really want.
And not be tied up, like a bird with no wings.
I'd kill myself.
No, it ain't happening anymore. Really.
I'm so sick of this, so damn sick of this.
It's always never good enough.
Could you tell me,
If I set foot into that deep abyss,
Would I fall hard and go back to what I have become,
Or would I find light in the darkness encapsulating me?
Could you give me an answer to that?
Sometimes, I feel like letting myself go, and just fall - a free fall.
But it hurts too much and I'm too afraid already.
Went for All American Rejects' concert at Bukit Jalil last night. A very spontaneous one actually. Didn't intend to go initially, but ended up going with the Cousin. Honestly, the only song which I can sing entirely was just Move Along hahaha! Thus explaining the desperate efforts that Adelin and I made to sing to the songs, which we knew nothing but the Chorus parts. Oh well, effort is good :3
Couldn't see much (due to the crazy crowd). So much for being short. Meh. And that top was the closest thing to Halloween that I have. Double meh. Oh well.
Also met Jia Xin there with her sweetheart. But I doubt she'd let me post that pic up so yea. I'll just mention her HAHAHA. It's been quite a while since we've met, despite the fact that we're in the same uni. I think the last time we met was during the picnic trip we had before Chingy left.
