Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.

In dire need of alcohol right now. Maybe, if I'm drunk enough, I might be able to get some eye shut tonight. Damn. I'm losing control, of myself - of everything. Let's just not talk about this, I'm pathetic enough already.

I've tried. I really did, very hard actually.

Someone I knew once told me,

That words can't hurt you unless you let them to.

I guess, I'm making myself very much vulnerable this time.

Oh this feeling is horrible,

When I can cry no tear when it is bleeding inside.

But why did you have to break me that way?

My words, my love, and all I had to give,
They are not worthless,
let alone thrash.

At least lie to me and tell me they're not.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now.

Maybe, I should drink to my liver's demise tonight. Then again being drunk wasn't exactly such a great experience I had.

But I guess I'd rather go through that than be in this pain sober.

My mind, it's too fucking sober.

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control.

and I wonder if I ever cross your mind,

for me it happens all the time.

así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera

- so I love you because I know no other way.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.

Yesterday, we decided to all go on a roadtrip to the beach in Port Dickson! So each of us pulled our asses off our beds way too early in the morning and met up near my place around 8 or 9 something for breakfast. Then, we left at 11am and about almost one hour later, we finally reached our destination.

In the car

The weather was great, too great in fact. The sun was so crazily hot during the afternoon. The day was awesome. With some booze, ice cream, some snacks and great company, anything would be extremely fun. And not forgetting the camwhoring of course!

While waiting for them to be done with their business in the car.

Seannyboy!!



The woman's favourite picture of the day.



The beach!

You'll be surprised how high the tide could be later during the evening.



I like this shot :)



What are you boys checking out? :P

The Drama Queen.



Miki the oddball HAHA.



When everyone was sucking up to Aaron, for some reasons haha.

Us playing around the beach before ahem, getting intoxicated.

Ah, and then came the intoxication part. I swear, we were all gone for a (rather long) moment. Pei Ling was the first to pass out and the last to wake up HAHA! And Anthony, it was just epic. And I will NOT forget how Miki laughs when she's high HAHA.

Oh, and I remember making a stupid call all the way to NYC just to hear "Ok, I'm jealous" from the Secret Lover. That was the only part of the conversation which I vaguely remembered haha T________________T

PL passed out.



Ant... HAHAHA!

Sean and Imran, don't be deceived by their expressions.
They were far from sober :P

And we got bloody conned by the burger stall nearby. But damn, it tasted good for some reasons. We stayed there till sunset and it was about to rain already. Finally reached KL at about 11pm and we were all half dead already. It was a day well spent indeed. Definitely a day which will be stuck in my head for quite some time ;-)

Twilight, literally.

More pictures in Facebook. Way too much for me to upload on Blogger already.

Am currently very much sunburnt and tanned. If you look carefully, I now have a red patch right in the middle my nose. Sunblock didn't help. And I accidentally slept on my favourite pair of shades, and obviously they broke *goes into dramatic wailing mode* T___________T

Let's have more of this. Next week perhaps? :D

Wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy.

♥ ♥ ♥



Yea you smelly buntut kentut!

Haha damnnn. I can never stop laughing at that name. I have no idea how I came up with it already. Perhaps cuz they rhyme :P

Actually, the title of this post is pretty much ironic, really. Some pig I know don't exactly wake up in the morning. They sleep back like nobody's business (you know what pigs do...). Pulling off what you call a Florence*.

*To those who have no idea what "pulling a Florence" is, it means that the performer of the act is sleeping like a log and is immune to all sorts of electronic devices (no, it is not on silent mode) and even if woken up, will continue their pursuit in slumber till kingdom comes.


Now I think there would be a synonym to it already. Pulling a Jon ;-)

I've loved you forever in lifetimes before.

"What is she doing?"

"Facebook. Heehee."

"Who's your love?"

"Her. Heehee"

戦う。最後まで戦う。
ね、恋
一緒に戦いましょう？

And I can't imagine two worlds spinning apart come together eventually,
And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right.
I'll be at the end of my restless road,
But this journey, it was worth the fight.
To be with you.

To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

But you broke me, now I can't feel anything.

Loving this song.

我受够了等待, 你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及, 才知道我可爱
我想依赖而你却都不在

I've had enough of waiting,
your so called plannings
When will the future that we've been talking about come?
It's always too late for you to appreciate things,
You were never there
every time I needed to lean on you.

应该开心的地带, 你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆找不到人陪我看海
你累积给的伤害 我是真的很难释怀

We were suppose to be all sweet and happy,
but all you gave was just an empty void.
Staring into space alone during a holiday,
When I couldn't find anyone to spend time with me.
I really can't seem to get over
The hurt and wounds you gave.

你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪却一直掉下来
被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖

You always wanted me to be good
And wait for you as you plan slowly.
But my tears just can't stop falling.
It's like you're gradually pushing me off the cliff.

而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块 要怎么拼凑跟重来

And my hopes on you,
you've broke them over and over again.
How do I put them back together
Once they've been broken into far too many pieces?

What's left there for me to say, when this song has said everything?

I can't even convince myself.

I do not want to fall to that stage where I won't care anymore.

Cuz I'm drifting off.

Please, don't let me.

断了的弦 再怎么练
我的感觉,你已听不见
再怎么接 音都不对

But I can't help but want you more.

It's funny how shit happens and life is treating me slightly better at the same time. Just that, there are times when I have to choose. It's like I have a dosage of fun, and face the music later on. Ironic, isn't it?

And not forgetting, my constant denial about exams coming nearer and nearer.

Oh and tonight, it was such a fun night. Didn't expect it to turn out this way, but it was one hella night actually. I am greatly tempted to post Pei Ling's pic here in this post, but nah, revenge is sweet when you're seeking it. But when it comes to a woman's revenge? I'll never wanna have a dose of that, ever :P

*

T'was great having you wake me up in the morning,
when I'm beyond reluctant in waking up.

:)

I said shush girl, shut your lips.

谢谢你造成的伤害
也谢谢你那不轻易的坦诚
让我看穿你的花心.

可是你眼光也太差了吧.

就算你发现也好,
我想你应该会选择假装不知道,
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好.

只等着好戏上映.

就努力的对自己好吧,
你不值得.
谢谢你, 帮我在遗憾里划下了句点.
好让我能释怀.

不是我输, 而是宁愿选择弃权
毕竟
跟她比, 只会让我想吐.
她? 来世吧.

或许我会考虑一下.

耍心计, 不是我不会
只是厌倦了这幼稚的游戏.
她想玩, 我会奉陪到底.
只可是,
我宁愿看两个女人的好戏,
为了抢烂苹果而斗得你死我活的好戏.

到头来得到的, 还是那么一颗烂苹果.
又何苦呢?

女人, 你就这么爱跟我脚步吗?
那, 我的秘密恋人, 你也想要玩吗?

只可是
如果他连看也不愿意看你一眼,
又怎能陪你玩?

蓝色的你, 你再也不配在这里有属于自己的颜色了吧.

Cuz you don't deserve a colour here anymore.

I'm in love with this song, so just hush.

So they (Pei Ling and the Secret Lover) have finally met one another, virtually. And of course, snapshots have to be taken in accordance to this :)

Okay we were just bored and the camwhore in us just suddenly awoken. Ignore the Secret Lover's face. Bloody stoned expression haha! Tsk tsk, boys.

Left to right: Speak no evil. See no evil. Evil himself.



Sorry, really had to post this. That smileeee ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm sorry for spam posting and deliberately cheating on my blog posts, but I'm really out of things to post recently. Like, the things happening around, I find them a tad bit too personal to be posted on the blog. Or maybe, I already did actually post them up, in a rather ambiguous way where nobody could possibly decipher :-)

Good night.

Let me show you what you're missing.

In exactly a month and 2 days' time,

There won't be a need for Skype anymore.

There won't be a need for those video calls anymore.

There won't be a need for those virtual dates already.

It would be day for you and me, and it would be night for us too.

Not day for one and night the other.

Cuz you'll be home, love.

They might say hi, and I might say hey.

Once upon a time, some time ago,

I wished you all the happiness in the world.

With her. Cuz you two were meant to be.

But this time around with her,

Don't expect the same.

Cuz three is never better than one.

祝福, 我绝对给不到.
我甚至希望
你们的秘密被揭开.

现在的我,
只等着看好戏.

最毒夫人心, 笑里藏刀,
没听过吗?

Now that's all down the drain.

It all felt like a terrible nightmare which kept playing itself on loop.

October 2009, I could remember that night so clearly. It was a long night, a very long night indeed. And tiring. I gave, and expected nothing in return. What I didn't expected was, what was there for me next. And it lasted, till this very moment right now it did. Thought I would never make the same mistake I did anymore. I told myself that. Never regretted it, but I do remember telling myself that I'll never make the same mistake again.

April 2010 , I did the same mistake again. Yeah, you guessed it.

Different people, different place, same occasion, same shit.

It was as if I was reliving the same incident all over again. The things I did, the decisions I made, the things I said, the pain I went through. They were identical and nothing had changed. The only thing that was different? It was just a different name, a different face. This time, I couldn't take it anymore, the pathetic fact that this same shit is happening to me all over again. It's creepily similar, yet it was a completely different person altogether. What the fuck is wrong?

It just felt like you all over again, Mr. J.

Oh the irony.

I can never forget the way you walked off just like that.

I never will, I swear.

How unfair life can sometimes be. Oh, how pathetic.

Sometimes, I hate myself so much I wished I could give myself one tight slap on each side of my face.

I hate this horrible replay of a nightmare.

Beautiful girls, all over the world.

Went to Rootz for Amardeep's belated birthday celebration. This was the most "belated" birthday I've ever attended in my life. 2 months hah! I guess, it was just an excuse for us to party before the fear for exams sets in.

Our picture of the night :)

Sometimes, shit happens. Haha I really like this picture. Like seriously.

Thanks to you who were there for me, despite your massive nose bleeding (Haha honestly, that's quite a funny one actually).

Thanks to you who drove all the way here, despite being asleep already (You know how much I love you).

Thanks to you who listened, bitched and made my day. You always have your very own ways to make me happy. (You know I love you loads too). That one month's wait definitely makes me anxious, like mad.

♥ ♥ ♥

Catch a bad chick by her toe.

Mysterious loser D sent this to me few days ago and claimed that he's the Mid-Center type, which I of course, argued against. As for me, I told him I was "too cool for school." Which he later said that I was more to the "Uncommitted" one. But this time, I didn't argue back. HAHA!

It's pretty sad when you're the one against the wall haha!

So which one are you? The teacher's pet wannabe maybe? :P

So during our Tort lecture today, I brought my laptop. Well, apparently it was to download the lecturer's notes online and refer during the lecture. Okay, I lied. I just brought it so I could Facebook :(

And this.

As much as he doesn't like it, I love that smile ♥ ♥

Forgot what nonsense we were talking about till we were laughing like that, but yeah. I remember laughing weirdly to my laptop in the middle of lectures -________-

And later, this happened.

Continued the session after I got home from class and well, I randomly saw Pringles around the table, so I randomly tried doing this. The Donald Duck thingy which I've always wanted to try. Well, it kinda failed. And if you noticed that at the end of the convo, I actually said "I feel so cute" wtf. Major fail. HAHAHA!

And he caught me doing it T______________T

No more boring lectures I guess :D

You make me wanna surrender my soul.

It's always during these ungodly times when things strike me most vulnerably. Tonight, many thoughts ran through my head. Very random things. Things I thought I've forgotten. Memories I never wanted to be resurrected. Thoughts I thought I have long left behind me in my pursuit of moving forward.

It felt so long ago, when we last spoke.
Yet it felt like we've just met a day before yesterday.
Little did I know, that almost two years has passed us by.

I used to be so in love, in love with you.
Funny how I managed to pull through, after a year.
I'm grateful I was in love with you once upon a time.
To have learnt what it was to hurt, what it was to give.
To grow up.

I'm glad that you have finally found the one
Who you love and who'd love you just the same.

いつまでも心の中にいると言いましたね、その時。
思いでに一番底の所かも知れない。
色々教えてありがとう。

*

Then there was you, my almost lover.
All the could have been's and what if's,
The saddest words of tongue and pen,
I could never finish counting them.

Honestly, I have no idea why I let you walk in and out so easily,
And how you tend to always have a way to get to me.

Questions unasked,
And many answers left unspoken.
This bad romance,
I think we'll both compromise
If it were to remain a forgotten secret, between you and I.

I guess, there are just things that time can't seem to change.
I'm sure you'd agree to that.

*

Love,
You caught me at my darkest time, tangled in my own mess.
You were patient, and you were kind.
And I think that was how,
I deliriously lost myself in you.

I'm not a saint, nor the girl you wished for.
In fact, I'm very much imperfect.
But I'm pretty sure
You can never quite find another like me.

If you'd tell me that two is better than one,
Then would you meet me halfway,
As I pick up pace running this race?

We'll have quite a lot of tomorrows to paint.

*

Poison,
I'd like to think of you that way.
Cuz that's just how you are - addictive but dangerous.
But I know that you know,
That we can't possibly have enough of one another.

Those late night wishes to the stars,
Where I'd wish for nothing but to be
Walking the streets of New York city with you
Under the sun, or maybe the summer rain.
At that very moment.

This dysfunctional compromise,
Does it make us sinners to be caught in such ecstasy,
As we indulge ourselves in this thing we know we shouldn't?
My secret lover.

Those days when fun is an understatement,
I can't wait.

After typing everything and reading back the things I wrote, I realised that it's pretty funny that 3/4 of this post seem to be associated with J's. Hmmmm... Why so sudden?

I have completely no idea why :)

I've been waiting all my life and now I found you.

This sweet surrender,
And with that,
I'll give you my heart, my passion, my soul.

Wilt this rose shall and cascade these petals will,
In some time we call soon.
But never shall this love go frail.

Colour of a burning red that even challenged the sun,
Yet it was just a stalk amongst many.
But the words it yielded within,
No none other could compare.

No words could compose these thoughts
And no action could illustrate such emotions,
This paradoxical oxymoron.
But now here I am writing this bad mess I'd dare call poetry,
Cuz right now, I'm all yours.

You made me believe, once again.

Stop talk talk talking bout blah blah blah.

It'll just end up the same no matter how hard I work.

Reaching hard for that bit of euphoria,
Nowhere close.
On the verge of snapping,
Holding on to that bit of hope you gave.
False hopes.

Am I going crazy?
The fact that I am so upset and angry at the same time that
I think I wanna cry.

Seriously, I need to get my ass out of the house before my mind fucks itself up so badly that I'll go insane.

But who?

I wished I could see myself in you.

I'm not trying to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind.

Today, my player was on shuffle mode. Many unplayed songs were heard. Those that I've downloaded ages ago but completely forgot about the next moment. There were also those which I used to put on loop everyday but later on forgotten about their existence.

Then, there was this song. A very old song, almost 7 years old if I'm not mistaken.

I remember, this song was looped everyday and night in my mp3 player sometime last year. A song which once made me cry the moment I heard it once upon a time last year.

She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should've known
She must have altered my senses
'Cuz I offered to walk her home.

The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand.

It can happen to anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail, say you will believe me
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break,
'Cuz I made a stupid mistake.

She means nothing to me
I swear every word is true, don't wanna lose you.


Too bad I was "she" and she was "you".

And it still hurts
every time I hear that I mean nothing to you.

It did make me think of things which happened through the past one year and how fast time has passed us all by. How things have changed in their own twisted way, whether we like it or not.

Well, I guess I'm happy to say that I'm glad I've landed where I am right now - where this song can't affect me anymore, most of the time at least.

I have to admit that I do lie once in a while. So, go figure :)

I tried to hold on but it hurts too much.

Does anyone here knows any place where I can possibly rent a car?

On a monthly basis maybe?

Till September, till I'm gone for good.

I'm sick of this. So fucking sick of this.

I thought you'd be different.

I thought.

I really want to come kick it with you, you'll be my American boy.

Just how did he get so lucky :P

When all three girls randomly put on shades and posed for him.



Jonnyboyyyy ♥ ♥

HOHO that's gonna be my new name for you which Imma tease you bout (doubt you'll like it though haha)! I'm sorry love, but Jonboy just doesn't sound nice :(

He'll be luckier when he's home. With all of us hanging out with him. Oh, and Flo when she's home exactly a month later after him!

Lousy boy. Refused to show his face cuz apparently he looked dead (cuz it was 3am his time). Distance was never a problem, when you have a secret lover who sleeps at the weirdest hours everyday. Cuz basically, I'd talk to him from morning till late evening (Malaysian time) and resume talking later during midnight (Malaysian time). He's weird. Teehee :D

Once upon a time, I didn't give a damn.

I had a dream last night.

We finally decided to come clean.

Hauntingly sweet.

After so long.

But when I woke up,

It was nothing but a dream.

I should've known.

我们终于能坦然的面对对彼此的感觉
不再隐藏, 不再逃避
你也没有了对「她」的顾虑
就你和我
只可是
那终究还是一场
梦.

Cuz when the roof caved in and the truth came out.

:)

You know, I'm in such a dilemma - whether to sleep or to watch How I Met Your Mother.

I mean, I've been yawning and wanting to doze off since 7pm. But it's too tempting to click "Play".

Well, I guess 20 minutes won't really do any harm, no? :D

So many reasons why.

This love, our love,
It's going amiss, and I'm straying.
Attracted by that tinge of thrill,
And the knowledge that we shouldn't be committing this sin,
Pursuing this little bit of sanctuary.

I'm your angel, you said.
But if it's the apple that we shouldn't be eating,
Then let us leave this Garden of Eden.
To a place where this profligacy is permitted.

When you're home, and when you're home
That's when apocalypse begins.
And when promiscuity is confused.

Love, if you're my poison,
Then let me be your kryptonite.
And this condemnable bond that we have,
We'll define it.

My infamous Secret Lover, you :)


P/S. How can you be my Chuck Bass when you don't like Blair Waldorf? :P

*

Edit: The Cousin is so cute. Just watch her complain lol.

There, this post, you're in here too :P

Je veux ton amour.

A very small bit of the pictures I've promised to share during my waterfall trip to Sungai Chiling @Rawang on Friday.

Yeap, this was taken while jungle trekking.

Trust me, this path was considered good already. There were more horrible paths that we went through during the entire jungle trekking process.

The waterfall!



Nick, the only one who went near enough to the waterfall.

It was too deep (if Nick were to stand, the depth would be one head above him) :x

Desperately searching for coverage.



Failed mermaid wannabe.



Group picture! Without Jessica :(



Nick and I! I personally like this picture of us very much :)



Hiding under the shade :P



It was so cold we were literally freezing our asses off.



Nice huh? :)

Yeap, the rest of the pictures could be found on my Facebook album uploaded earlier this afternoon. And trust me, Subway has never tasted that good before.

No leech! Or rather, I wasn't attacked by a leech! Fortunately. And this reminded me of a rather stupid conversation I had with loser D. I was happily telling him about my failed encounter with leeches till he brought this up:

"If leeches could suck all your fats away instead of blood, would you still be so against them?"

"If they could, I'd be the first to put them all around my tummy and make sure they get fat. Who cares bout them being disgusting."

"You're sick."

Sue me, I'm a girl. That excuse/reasoning is as good as saying I'm Chuck Bass. It's perfectly valid. :D

*

Sometimes, it makes me wonder that
if we wanted to, if we really wanted to,


You and me could write a bad romance.

Just that we chose the contrary.

因为你我中间隔个她．

Sorry, colour coding for this one had been disabled due to obvious reasons.

I touched it and I was burnt.

; Her feelings, she hides.
; Her dreams, she can't find.

; She's losing her mind.
; She's falling behind.
; She can't find her place.
; She's losing her faith.
; She's fallen from grace
; She's all over the place.

That's where she lies, broken inside.

I'm barely hanging on.

Would you, hold on to me
Or watch me fall?

I left my head and my heart on the dancefloor.

Short Update:

• I watched Clash of The Titans in 3D, yes we managed to get tickets. 3rd row from the front, and we bought tickets 2 days in advance :/

• I went jungle trekking. Believe your eyes, you've read it right. I went jungle trekking. (Close to an hour walk! And this doesn't count walking back). I swear a snake might attack me anytime. And it includes crossing rivers!!

• I (finally) visited a waterfall. And man it was beautiful. (Pictures will be up really soon but I don't think I can make it tonight).

• I've seen a leech for the first time in my life. A fucking leech. Thank god it wasn't on me.

• I now have multiple cuts on my legs.

• I've learnt to never trust rocks by waterfalls/rivers. They're bloody slippery they make you slip and fall.

• And did I say I went jungle trekking? Sorry, I'm not over it. I'm quite proud of myself that I think my mom should be too wtf.

• I had Subway sandwiches the entire day today, and am not sick of it.

• It's been ages since I've last stayed at home through the day and I think it's about time to.

Good night.

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket.

It's April Fools' peeps!

So who are you planning to fool today? Or are you the one getting fooled?

Frankly, it's very annoying that I've always been the one being fooled. And only this very gullible friend of mine falls for my tricks :(

And she goes by the name Li Hong, in case you didn't know.

But now that she's far away from me in Melbourne, I think I kinda lost my target :(

No, this is not Li Hong.

But anyhoots, enjoy fooling your friends today peeps (while I start coming up with something which people will actually fall for)! :D

And since it's April Fools, I think it's quite appropriate for me to share this picture over here haha. Well, cuz I personally find it quite funny. (You wouldn't get the joke if you haven't heard the "A Whole New World" song in Aladdin).

Haha wtf.

And speaking of April, guess what?

It's another month off the calendar, which means that my loves are coming home sooner than you think! Well, technically its a month plus more for the Secret Lover and 2 months plus (sigh) for Flo. But heck, I can't wait till that day comes :D


P/S. Dear Secret Lover, had you heard of curiosity killing the cat? Cuz I think I'm the cat right now. I guess one month plus is a very long time to wait for a surprise to come :P