愛しい貴方にサヨナラを。

This sucks. I hate this feeling. I know that I'm suppose to be reading my Consti. I told myself I would on the way home today. I kept reminding myself constantly that the dead line is nearing. I failed. Sometimes, I really feel like giving up. Sigh.

My blog has been deprived of pictures recently. It's been so long since I've camwhored and took pictures of myself. Wtf I sound like some vain bitch. God knows why. Is it cuz of the increase in age? :O

I feel like I just wanna hug someone, anyone close to me - or rather, be hugged. I miss the feeling of being hugged. Those sincere, tight hugs that only a few could give. I'd wanna bury myself in the embrace, and slip away, just for a short moment. It'll be more than enough. This reminds me, I don't know why but this thought kept lingering on my mind today, it's almost a month since.

もう一ヶ月になったね、アレから。時間は矢の如きかなぁ？君、もうアタシを忘れたか？あるいは、あるトコでまだアタシの影が残る？毎日も会えるけど、なんとなく遠いカンジがするだね。

:)

March 11th

I've made up my mind. It's time to keep everything deep inside, in a place where nobody else could find. I'll never mark another 11.

I wonder if it's the same... that bits of me would still linger, somewhere.

愛しい貴方にサヨナラを。

It's over. I'm happy how I am now. Maybe not completely but yea, I'm fine the way I am. Still searching for the missing pieces, it doesn't matter if I can't. I've been through the worst stage, twice - and all that's left is to move on now. Perhaps letting go is hard, but at least, moving on wouldn't be. It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better, that's how the saying goes. It'll still hurt as it goes, but yea I'll be strong.

Cuz the day will come when the heart is ignorant to the pain and none can break through, you or you or the many yous out there. I don't wanna go through the entire process again, hell no.

Sometimes, I'm too afraid.