A Letter From Me To You.

It's been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away

I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but
That's just not the case.

- 6, 8, 12 by Brian McKnight

Dear you,

It's quite funny how things are sometimes. Months ago, I thought that this day would be a really bad day... till a few days back. Perhaps, only the very harsh truth could change things. Puzzles solved, questions are answered. Or at least, it's the answers I found after much contemplation.

I can't deny the fact that I miss you sometimes, I really do - very much so.

But there really isn't much that I can do, not in circumstances like this - when it takes two to tango. It's quite funny how clear things are now. Sorry I was a tad bit slow, my bad.

Run away. That's the best thing one can do, I think you'd compromise with me on this. Cuz it's what I have been doing for the past few days. At least I managed to convince myself that it feels better that way, when I don't let the thoughts of you slip through my mind for the slightest moment. Or rather, it's not the thought of you that's bad, really. It's just... sigh. Forget that.

Just let me, run away for this bit while I'm getting better. I know running away is bad, but let's just take it as another way of acceptance. Absence make the heart grow fonder? Always have been :-)

But does it matter anymore? Honestly, I don't know what to feel or what to think right now. Cuz I'm too lost, beyond lost - in everything. What I hear, what I see... they're contradicting each other, like black and white. Never have that happened before. Things I see, are things I hear. But this time, it's nothing I've known before. What I hear and what I see, are different from what I hear (Maybe, this sentence would only make sense to myself). And what I hear and see, are different from what my heart believes. So tell me, if this isn't lost - what else could it possibly be?

反正你在乎的, 也不是我.

Loathing the funny thing called Destiny and questioning Fate on its ruthlessness, I realised that Envy is casting its spell on me. Wishing so badly, hope against hope - if only... it could have been the same for me.

Take care, you. Good to know that you're enjoying yourself at home. Doubt you could see this, but yea. It doesn't matter anymore. Just wanted to pen a short note to you :-)

Perhaps it's about time... Or maybe, it has already been time since ages ago. I guess I'm late again, oops. Goodbye, love.

Love, Me.
「ガキ姫ちゃん」より