Monday, April 06, 2009

Nostalgia.

Happy Birthday LiHong.
Finally you're 20.
Hope you enjoy your life over there in Melbourne,
With your newly gained freedom.

I'm sure you're really happy there.
We all miss you loads here :)


☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★★☆★☆★☆


Damn. I just realised that the 10th is just 4 days away. And I thought I had one week for my Criminal assignment. Shit. I'm freaked out now.

Time - a very scary word. Sometimes, it passes so slowly that you get so agitated, wishing hard that there was a fast forward button which you could press. Sometimes, it passes so quickly that you're amazed how many years had passed despite feeling that it was just last year.

It's so hilarious now to remember that we freaked out for UPSR or PMR (some stupid exam we were obliged to sit for during Primary and Secondary). I think, it'll be hilarious to be freaking out for assignments few years later when I look back at this. Whatever, just let me freak myself out now.

But that's not my point. I could still remember that I actually cried for a very stupid reason years before, 5 years ago if I'm not mistaken. I think I cried cuz my ex refused to do something very minor, and I cried whole day in school wtf. I was moody the entire day cuz he was absent wtf. Not knowing a single thing about being heartbroken. Yes, I still lived in my fairy tale that time. Haha wtf, even I'm laughing to myself when I'm typing this out. I'm sure Chingy's laughing her ass off now at this point. I know what you're gonna say, shut up.

Then I made quite a stupid decision and for a year plus, my mind went through shit due to this. I was always caught in between. I was always forced and pushed. I hated the feeling so much. It even came to extent that I was sick of myself.

Things became more screwed up when the already screwed up matters became more screwed up. Then all I remembered was that I cried my eye balls out for all the things I've done, ending up with ugly swollen eyes everyday. I don't even want to remember this part of the story.

When things could not get any worst, you found me and picked me up. It was like the summer rain washing away the cold, winter snow. For once in two years (or more), it didn't feel screwed up. I was happy. Finally, I could leave the horrid mess behind and be happy, in a completely different world. When I thought things finally brightened up, it had to screw up so suddenly and I ended up crying my eye balls out once again. But yeah, I was so happy I met you - you've taught me lots of things :)

Sigh. As you can see, it's pretty screwed up... how things are. Oh ya, I forgotten bout my point - time. It changes you, really. For the better or for worse, I really don't know. I've just typed out so much stuff that it would look so great if it were facts of strict liability on my assignment document now. Unfortunately, it isn't. Tsk tsk.

To you. I'm sorry for things I've done. I'm glad you're happy now. It's good that it's over.
To you. There's nothing else I can say but, I'm truly sorry. You never knew what I did.
To you. Sorry I almost ruined things but I'm happy for you right now, bitch :)

And most importantly, to you.
You know what I have to say, I know you do - with those (cough) "awesome" brains :P

Oh and Qi, good luck in passing your driving. Hopefully you don't do something weird, hopefully.

I'm confused again with my own feelings. I know it's over. I know it'd be this way. Then why is it that I'm still lingering over various thoughts? "Could have beens" surrounding me. If only those "could have beens" could have been. Maybe I just can't get over these could have beens. I remember you said something like this, or something similar (haha)

Perhaps you just like to be emo

Yea, maybe. Or perhaps there's still so many unknown answers that I'll never get to know.

It'll be fine, I'm sure. I'll sort it out soon enough. Yours truly.

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