I Have A Funny Dad

Apparently, there are a few types of Dads. There's the stereotyped ones where they're super strict, serious, scary and all. Then there's this type who pampers the child and buys him/her anything he/she wants. Lastly, there's this type where they enjoy insulting you, and talks crap with you.

Mine is the latter.

There's this thing which I realised lately, my dad isn't as blur as he seems he is. He says things behind my back! He takes the chance to gossip with my mum when he fetches her to work every morning while I'm sound asleep at home. How did I know everything? I have a spy :)

Case 1:

Dad: Eh, tell your daughter to stop wearing that shirt she wore yesterday. Quite revealing.
Mum: Aiya, never mind la. Her generation doesn't think it's revealing. We're too conservative.


When I wore that shirt - he just kept quiet and said nothing as if everything was alright.


Case 2:

Dad: Eh, your daughter change friend already ah?
Mum: What friend?
Dad: Nowadays right, someone calls her and she talks on the phone.
Mum: What's wrong with that? She's forever with her phone.
Dad: She speaks English and suddenly Japanese comes out. So weird.
Mum: Oh.
Dad: What "oh". I know you know.
Mum: Classmate.
Dad: very persistent Where got classmate call her? Doesn't seem like asking homework.
Mum: Aiya, up to her la. Not like you'll understand what they talking bout also.

But, he keeps quiet as if nothing is wrong and never asked a thing whenever I get calls and start speaking alienic language. My mum never betrays me :)


Case 3:
Me: Fetch me to class earlier, I meeting friend first.
Dad: Okay. Who you meeting?
Me: Friend.
Dad: You're already meeting in class what. Go so early for what.
Me: yam char
Dad: Sure a not? Why everyday yam char? Yam cha need wear so nice wan meh?
Me: I'm meeting Xin and Ching Mun.
Dad: Ohh.

Then he stops asking things.


Me: But later I meeting another friend after class. So come late ya.
Dad: This one sure classmate (he sounded damn sarcastic)


Case 4:

I was so worried my dad would scold me for buying so many pairs of heels. So I went and asked him one day whether would he be angry if I spent all my money on heels.

Me: Eh if I tell you I spent my money buying heels and didn't buy anything else. Will you scold ah?
Dad: No la. Up to you buy anything you want. As long as you're happy with it. Just don't just buy too many heels la, buy clothes too.

The next morning,

Dad: Eh, tell your daughter to stop buying heels. Ask her buy more clothes.
Mum: She doesn't bother bout clothes when she goes shopping with me. She only enters shoe shops.
Dad: Control her la.

.... Now my mum stops me from entering shoe shops. There goes my happiness in shopping :(

Case 5:

One night, my mum was scolding me and complaining that I was late. (Actually I wasn't. They were early) I was very ker lian there being scolded by her for no reason and my dad just kept quiet. The next day,

Dad: Eh, last night you kena kao kao.
Me: Ya. I wasn't late also. You come so early for what. Cannot drive slower ah.
Dad: I felt pity for you too. You got scolded for nothing haha.
Me: Then? You never help me. Keep quiet there act cool. I thought you also emo me.
Dad: No, I dare not la. Later I also kena kao kao. So it's best to keep quiet all the way.
Me: Then you leave me there kena fire kao kao la?
Dad: One being fired is better than two.
Me: .....

I feel so betrayed.

Nevertheless, I still love my family so much. They're just so cute sometimes. ❤