Broken.

I don't wanna get home. I don't wanna stop.

That's when my mind rests and it'll start thinking about you, all over again. Has it already became a habit that it thinks of you whenever it settles down? Or is it just that uni work and lectures has temporarily blocked you out of my mind? And when it stops, the thought of you would come fleeting into my mind again, effortlessly.

It's been so long that you would now become a faint memory, a blurred vision which I can't remember anymore. At least I thought it would be. Yet, your face is as clear as ever. It happened as if it was just yesterday. Coming and escaping my mind as if it had a will on its own, leaving me dangling in misery.

Do you know how it hurts? Do you know how bad it feels? Waking up everyday to the same nightmare, a nightmare which I can never run away from. Living everyday as it is, pointlessly. It never felt that hard to lift a smile with the heart. I always thought it was easy, till you took the heart away and never gave it back.

I guess I can only push myself to move on, facing the days without you. I've walked thru 19 years without you and I've been alright. I'm sure I can do the same after you left.

When I face the blank screen, listening to pure silence, that's when it haunts me. Moments that I feel like crying every night, just to realise that there were no more tears I could shed. The heart is numbed, yet it still feels the pain. What has become of me, is nothing but a smiling face :)

I miss you.