How Does It Feel Like...

to love again?

I miss the feeling of being in love. Emptiness fills my days, and nothing else. Sadly, February's just around the corner - yea, Valentines' Day. It's on a Saturday. Wtf. I'll be stuck at home emo-ing myself out. If it was a weekday, at least I have classes to take my mind off you.

We could have had it, You were all I want.
It could have been so fabulous.

It wasn't that long ago since things ended, yet it felt like an eternity. Things stopped around me when you walked out from my life. Nothing else moved on except for the continuous ticking of the clock. Sigh. How miserable.

Perhaps I might have forgotten the features of your face,
And you have forgotten the touch of my skin.
Yet, I remember the hugs that only you could give,
So tight yet so warm.
And maybe,
You have already forgotten the kisses that we had,
And me, forgetting the voice saying that I'm yours.

Left for Mid Valley right after class today again for movies with classmates. Bride Wars it was. I thought it was all over, when I can finally face everything with a smile on my face - at least it was a smile I showed.

No, I was wrong. Was crossing to Gardens today from Mid Valley, and once again it hit me. Everything came back to me as if my mind was forced to refresh the memories over and over again.

With the ugly balls along the road, where you always smoked and we camwhored.
With Starbucks (in Gardens) above our heads, where you asked me to be yours.
With the road, where you'd hold my hand when we cross it, cuz you know I was never good at crossing roads.

They're all still there, yes they are. Yet, everything has changed so drastically that I no longer recognise the scene anymore. I miss you.

By the way,

Congratulations Juen, on turning 20 :)
Bid your teen years goodbye, and may it be a great year ahead of you. Enjoy your birthday, B.
All the best.
- xoxo.

I wonder how are you doing nowadays. Had you eaten well? Did you fall sick? Do you still sleep so much? Are you still busy with work everyday? I know you'd know how to manage yourself well. You always knew how to. I was always the bimbo instead. Now that you don't even read this, there's no point of me asking these :(

Oh yea, I've watched Pineapple Express. I finally understand why you said the first 10 minutes reminded you of me - cuz it reminded me so much of you like how it reminded you of me.

- 26/19. One day, I may have forgotten everything - but I'll always remember that special number that once meant us :)