Resolutely Me

Everyone have made their New Year's resolution.

I remember having one years ago and god knows what happened to it. I even forgot what resolution I made to myself. Must be some I-must-study-hard kinda thing since it was years ago.

I'm a pretty lazy person. I'm even lazy to think of a resolution now wtf. Alright, I'll try my best.

1) Work hard for my Law degree.
2) Be a better person - both mentally and physically. Call me shallow.
3) Do something I've never did - something un-Kamenly. I haven't thought of any yet, but I will.

4) The final one, I'll keep this to myself. It is yet the most important one, the only thing I really wanna strive badly besides my degree.

Mid Valley. What can I say? I walked through the revolving doors, the first thing which came to my eye - a bunch of kids sitting on the green seats by the pillars near Dome. Reminded me of you. Wiped you off from my mind, and descended to the floor below. This time it was Carrefour. Reminded me of you.

Met up with Ching and Xin, and went to Gardens for our screaming singing session. It was opposite GSC Signatures, once again it reminded me of you. Red Box was fully booked, and thus we walked back to MV. Had to cross Starbucks, again it reminded me of you. Walked past the food court, it reminded me of you.

Later on, we decided to just have lunch at Kim Gary's. Yes, it reminded me of you. You're just everywhere. Ne, nande?

I was busy taking pictures when both of them were talking constantly on the phone. They were making their last minute plans to MOS or Laundry, whichever was available.

Our drinks - my Lychee Mellow thingy and Xin's Strawberry Aloe.

Chingy on the phone.

Xin too. And as for me....

Camwhoring miserably.

After what felt like ages, our food finally came, and they were still on the phone.

In the end,

Xin: Eh fuck la. last minute plan. Maybe we're going Laundry.

CM: No one's confirmed yet for MOS.

Xin: Sigh. Jason's in Bali for New Year wtf. Damn fun wei. Let's go.

Me: *had been quiet all the while* OKAY! Let's go. Buy tickets wtf.

CM: You crazy ah.

Xin: CM, if only your dad is some entertainment industry tycoon, mine's a hotel tycoon and Kamen's is some jet plane tycoon. Then, we can just make it for all the parties. What Bali, London Paris all also can. *starts talking bout her imaginary future*

Me: Xin, dream on.

Looked up into the night sky today, like how I did that night in your arms. The sky looked the same, it was just as dark. Plain, black silhouette. But it never felt the same. However, it managed to put a smile on my face when it dawned upon me that - somewhere over there, we might just be staring up at the same dark sky above our head :)

I just seem to miss you more today :(

I think I shall conclude the year with a smile. A smile which would go through anything. A smile which you liked so much.

- wishing upon a star... that my star would shine back on me. The clouds covered it, making it confused, refusing to find its way back.

T'was A Year

It's the last day of Year 2008.

Went through a lot through the year, things have changed throughout the year, have been stronger through the year, have learnt alot through the year.

Thanks to those who once hurt me,
you have taught me to be a stronger person.

Thanks to those who were always there for me,
you have taught me how to cherish.

Thanks to those who once brought me down,
you have taught me how to let things go.

Thanks to those who always cared,
you have taught me how to love.

Thanks to you who came along,
you made me a princess.

Staring uni soon this Friday, a whole new beginning. A beginning of my new reality. However, I'd bring you along in my heart. I'm not afraid.

I am yet to make my resolution, a resolution which Imma stick to.

Off to meet Chingy and Xin in Mid Valley. It's gonna be the first time I set foot to that place ever since.

Gotta run.

Happy New Year everyone!

Love.

- you're still so fabulous, what am I to do?

26...., 19.

16-10

後１０点しか残らないのに、

何でアキラメタの？

ね？

I could have let you win all you want, I'll never argue back this time.

26.

- for you, I promise I'll be strong.

The Smile I Show.

ね、まだ覚えてる？

もし俺は汚い土地で、お前は綺麗な青い空、

そして俺の気持ちをお前に届く為雨が降ってるなら

俺は永遠に雨が欲しい

そうだったら、雨が大好き。

会いたくて、会いたくて、ＭＶに来てくれたアンタは
こう言ってた

誰かを会いたい心はもっと誰かを望んで行く、

そしてもっと愛の感じができるさ。

ある日、大雨が降ってる。空は黒くなって、アタシは

「今の空は暗い。アタシを囲まれてる闇の様に。」と言った。

そして、アンタはこう返事した、

じゃ、俺が雷になってやる、

君の闇の中の光だから。

今、また闇の中に落ちてしまった。

- ココロが痛いよ・・・でも、一生懸命笑顔を出す。

Irony.

Saw random articles online, read some random quotes online - and felt sad. Yea, I'm that sensitive. Sue me.

I was lost

Then you came along and showed me my direction,

Holding my hand, guiding me.

I will long for nobody else but you.

It was so fine, even the sky would be jealous of me having you.

But then I lost you.

Pushing myself to move on, trying to mend the broken pieces

Yet, memories of you failed me.

Whatever it take,or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you.

This just sounds so sad. A piece of whatever that came into my mind. Felt like typing it out, and here it is :)

Uni is starting soon. New Year's Eve is coming soon. Plans anyone? I'd be very free. RSVP

- if I was given one wish, just one wish... there would be nothing else I could hope for.

AliBaba

There is nothing to blog about today. It's just empty.

Google said Bali would be cloudy today. Let's hope the Sun would come out for you :)

I'm a computer retard. I can't do this. I've tried doing this for two days, failing miserably.

I can't crack the CD. How in the world do you crack it? wtf. I need a センモン。Anyone knows how to?

What happens if Snow White never wakes up? What happens if Ariel never got her voice back?

Would all fairy tales have the same happy ending?

Really makes me wonder.

アリガト

現実から離れたいって言った

そして、新しい現実を望む。

アタシが含めない新しいゲンジツ。

ね、何で今までも超アイタイだろう？

今までもずっとずっとアンタの事だけ思ってる。

Everything just seem to remind me of you.

アリガトね、

色々いい思い出を作ってくれた。

アリガトね、

幸せのカンジをさせた。

アリガトね、

姫ちゃんの様に大切された。

短かったけど、本当にアリガト。

I could still remember so clearly how we first met during the exam, how we first saw each other in class, how we first talked, how we first took the lift together, how we first spent time together, how we first camwhored together... so many memories we had together. Even the smallest detail would remind me of those days that we now call the past.

The shops we went into together, the places we stopped by, the things said, everything everything.

待てなくてもいい・・・俺の事を忘れよう・・・

できないよ。バカ

試したけど、できないよ。

ね、アンタはもうアタシの事を全部忘れたの？

最も大切な彼氏のジョニー。

ジョナサン, my summer boy.

- this is always meant for you.

Why Can't It Be Christmas Everyday?

My very random cousin texted me at noon, went to fetch her from her house at Taman Desa and off we went to Pyramid.

Taman Desaへ入ったすぐ泣いちゃったよ。全然コントロルできずに。

Went to eat the minute we reached, Miss Cousin was hungry. I don't know what's the place called but erm, it was the place with nice desserts at Asian Avenue. It was next to the Purikura station and the Shi Lin shop.

Confession: I bought heels again. Blame Miss Cousin. She dragged me in.

Our drinks and our Seafood Tempura.

Left was mine, Right was Miss Cousin's.

No, I didn't order Kiwi. I had the Honey Dew instead.

There's only one Kiwi that I want.

Miss Cousin texting while waiting for her food.

No, this is not poser. My eyes were too ugly, had to wear shades for pictures.

My eyeliner was super thick that day alright, had to cover up the ugly swollen eyes.

She's enjoying her food.

while I'm enjoying the view in Sunway Lagoon.

I wanna goooooo

look at her, konon la don't wanna camwhore.

Walked around, bought some stuff, and finally decided that we should stop walking and entering shops - our wallets going on diet di! And so, we killed time in Waffle World.

Look at my horrendous eyes.

She and her beloved hamster strap. Cute la her.

Our beloved straps :)

Sadly, my star looks like it's crying.

Perhaps, the beloved black strap behind made it sad :(

just like the owner.

Perhaps, smiling is all I can do now :)

No matter how bad it hurts inside.

Not really the way I like it.

Damn fun lar hanging out with this woman. She's most probably one of the lamest people I know. We grew up together doing all sorts of lame things which we'll laugh over when we think back about it. So much of similarities between us, wicked. It's been almost 20 years, wtf.

Did something surprising today. Well, at least to some it would be. The very chicken me who's always afraid of painful stuff decided to get a second piercing. Perhaps, in remembrance of us. December 11th :)

Somehow, this might be bad. When I see it, it'll just remind me of you.

Christmas was always so fine. I've always liked it since I was a child. Thanks for giving me such a pleasant Christmas, really. I was really happy, I'll never forget it. Our good memories were always on Christmas, from how we got to know each other, till everything started - it was the season of Christmas. Everything was beautiful and serene. Even the night sky could never win over your hugs.

Nothing else could make me feel that way - the feeling of being cared for and protected. It will never be as pleasant if it wasn't for you. :)

- why must Santa bring you along when he left?

Mr.Boyfriend & Ms. Lovely Girlfriend.

「ずっと一緒に居てね、ずっとずっと」って言ってたのに、まだ覚えてる？

アンタの姫ちゃんだったなのに・・・

突然、全部　消えちゃった。

今晩、やっぱり眠れないよ。さっきから今まで、ずっと泣いてたから。
でも、我慢できない。ごめんよ、アタシ・・強くないモン。
強いふりをしてたけど・・・

知らなかったよ、アタシ達はいっぱいの思い出があった。時間が短いけど、こんなにいっぱいがあったんだ。
一緒に取った写真、本当にいっぱいあった。
I can still remember clearly everything that you said in every picture we took.

そんなに深くとは思わなかった・・・
I never knew it was that deep.
今日まで知ってた。もう、遅すぎるかなぁ・・・もう失ったからさ・・・

「もっと深くなる前に、蜘蛛の巣から離れて」って言った
ね、知ってた？もう深くなちゃったよ。もうダメだ。

全部の物事もアンタの事を思い出せる。pain　とか、painful　とか、キンタマとか、Starbucks　とか、日本語まで・・・
どうしよう？

初めてアンタと夜空の下で散歩した、初めてアンタと夜空の下でチューした、初めてアンタとバスを待ってた、初めてアンタと電車に乗った

アンタは突然、アタシの生活に現れて、その生活を混乱させて、そして最後に、アタシが一人ぼっちに残された。

色々約束してたのに・・・

「いつか一緒にどこかへ行こう？」

「いつか一緒にWall・Eを見ましょう？」

「いつか妹に紹介しよう？」

「いつか俺の友達を会おう？」

「いつかpoolを教えてあげよう？」

「いつか俺のsleevesを着て、写真を撮ろう？」

「いつか花火を見ましょう？花火を見たいでしょう？」

ね、まだ覚えてる？

「眠りながらお前を抱きたい。」

ね、まだ覚えてる？

アタシにまだいっぱい話したい事がある、教えたい事がある、行きたい場所がある・・・まだまだある。まだ　"deh"　しないのに・・・

ね、知ってた？その日、突然にアンタのパソコンから「そばにいるね」を聞いた瞬間、本当に嬉しかったよ。アタシが言った事を気にしたから。ちっちゃい事だけど、本当に超嬉しかったよ。

超好きだよ。超痛いだよ。超アイタイだよ。超戻りたい、時間を　－　アンタを失わないように。

もう、ダメだアタシ。時間が短かったのに、痛くないはずだったんでしょ？
でも何でアタシ、超痛いだよ、ココロが。
もう何時間泣いてた、もう何時間アンタの事をずっと思ってた。
本当に電話をしたいだよ、でもきっとジャマなんでしょ？だからいいんだ・・

サイゴのキス、サイゴのhug、サイゴのwave、

全部「サイゴだ」と知らなかった。

もし、その時これを知ってたアタシはきっと、離れたくないだろう？

その晩ずっとアンタと一緒に居て・・・

ずっとずっと

疲れてもいい、目が痛くてもいい、家に帰らなくてもいい

ただ離れたくない。

ね、知ってる？Christmas Eveの晩、なんとなくこう言うカンジがあった。アンタに「失いたくない」を言いたい。ナントナク。でも結局、言わなかったねアタシ。なんでだろう・・・変だね？Female instinctsかなぁ？

ね、アタシの為に・・・自分の為に、変えてもいい？試してもいい？
待ってるからさぁ。

「バカ」と「阿呆」が離れないだろう？「バカ」がいなかったら、「阿呆」は本当に阿呆になっちゃうよ。「バカ」がいなかったら、「阿呆」はどうしよう？

最後のキスはタバコのflavourじゃなかったね？
明日のアタシ、きっと泣いてるでしょう・・・

I really miss you :(

Baliへの旅をenjoyしてね！


- you're all that's in my mind now. I can't help it, I've tried. I just can't get you out of my mind.

Insanity.

My hair is now mahogany.

- do you know how much I wanna see you? ...but you never asked.

Vanity.

We were bored again. You really can't blame us. Yet again, we were too vain :D

Poser pictures ahead. Click to enlarge only if you are free. You get to see a bit of our lame bimbotic convos lol.

our stone pic.

we were both just staring into the screen doing nothing at all.

then came the lala pose.

okay, she was somehow attempting to kiss.

erm, I don't know. I think we became too high posing that we ended up like this.

posers.

wondering what the next pose should be.

damn posers.

attempted misleading pose 1.

attempted misleading pose 2.

I don't know. I seem to have developed a new interest in taking misleading pictures, wtf.

She tied her hair up suddenly, so I thought I should do something with mine too.

Put it to the side. Haha, talk bout creativity wtf.

Me: I think I see youuuu.

I like this pic

T_______________T

/End of vain pics.

Off to getting my hair coloured in Hartamas tomorrow. Thanks to Jia Xin, who somehow triggered my desire to colour my hair. Ironic how things can be, cuz this was our convo last night:

'xin says: eh kamen, dye ur hair blonde la ~.~

*`//¤»Chingy«¤- says: ya ya. go dye it blonde.

Sigh. We were chatting on some stuff and these sarcastic friends of mine suggested that I dye my hair blonde. Now really colouring di! But definitely not blonde. I've had my failed moments, and would never wanna repeat it again, ever.

look at this.

Blonde. /omg

This picture provides a clearer view of my blondehead.

And my nerdy glasses look -_______-

Now I remember, I was called blondehead by Foo during those days. Not everyone will look nice in blonde. 666

My hair looks blonde here.

Okay, at least the right side does.

No, no blonde no matter what. Red it shall be! Imma colour my hair red tomorrow. Too bad la, I don't like blonde cannot is it? Bite me ah?

- i'll be waiting for you.

Its Not Much That I'm Asking For

Yesterday,

Saw things I never wanted to see.

Found out things I never wanted to find out.

Realised things I never wanted to realise.

Yet today,

I'm doing it all over again.

Seeing things which hurts the heart.

Wondering about what I would never want to know.

Hurt, it might. Yet we still do it.

It's hard, despite all the things in front of me

As though they're speaking for themselves.

We all know but

I still chose to believe.

I will be strong.

- please, don't let me down. it's a fragile heart :(

I Will...

只想成为你喜欢的 我

我不会把自己变成你喜欢的女孩

这样没有意思

只会努力做好自己

让你喜欢这样的 我．

:)

- there will be a day when you'll come to see...

If I Could... Just Let Me.

Hohoho. Merry Christmas :3

Left to Curve at 10 last night. I thought there were fireworks.

Curve ho lan -ed me. Actually, I don't really know what it means. But some malaysian-turned-kiwiboy taught me this word when I used the word betray so I assume it means almost the same.

E.g. Malaysian roadsigns always ho lan people.

Meaning something like betray la rite??


Wtf. This sounds bimboticly dumb.

Getting ready to go out.

Met a few friends there. Those that I haven't met for ages. But I didn't get to meet those who I was supposed to meet! Jia Xin. I waited and waited, no fireworks. I was so happy thinking can watch fireworks lor!

T______________T

Neverminddd. There's always next year, wtf. Stoned there for about an hour, watched people spray each other with fake snow - which were basically smelly foam. Walked to car, thought car was gone, (-___-;) and reached home at around 2.

' Twas my Christmas.

- Something that I want, you know it, but I won't say a word. I'll keep waiting and let's see, if you got it right. Very simple for a smart person like you, indeed.

Christmas, Here I Come

Christmas Eve to be exact. Wait, by midnight it'll be Christmas - so it won't be Eve anymore. So maybe it's Christmas. Damnit, I'm confusing myself :x

Fireworks. Night. Pictures. Curve. Lovessss.

psst! I really have this feeling that I'm gonna see quite some people tomorrow. At least, I know I'll be seeing Jia Xin darling for sure :3

But I think I gotta be done with my driving class early morning first before I can go on with anything later that day :x

Jon, you betrayer. Suddenly tell me that you're not going HELP cuz you ADP is not accepted. A-Levels is more chun okay. I feel betrayed laa.

Merry Christmas people!

Failed Attempt

To cook.

I woke up feeling so semangat-ed today and thought that I shall try making my own food for breakfast. So cook I did.

Bad decision.

Ron: What you doing la?

Me: Just done cooking.

Ron: What you made?

Me: Sausages, bacon and corn.

Ron: Sounds like damn chun. But I bet all burnt wan rite?

Me: Yeah haha! How you know la.

Ron: Hahahaha. Kawaii girls can't cook wan.

T_______________T

Took me half an hour to cook these stuff. (-________-)

Cheesy sausages, bacon and corn.

Yes, I know they look horrible. But, my first time lah.

Please, who would need half an hour to make things like this? I even took two hours to make spaghetti ahahaha. But my spaghetti was perfectly edible.

The sausage was 1/4 raw but still edible, I think. The bacon was slightly overcooked. The corn.......It was as hard as rock. And I thought corn was supposed to be soft??

Why do people like to wake me up so early in the morning? I don't get it. Yesterday morning it was Jia Xin. This morning, my phone went screaming keep bleeeeeding again.

(My ringtone when the phone is on Soft mode. I wouldn't want it to scream you make me so hot, you're so fabulous loudly when I'm sleeping.)

Another unexpected call from the unexpected person. I was blur half of the time and dozed off again. Sorry, we really can't do anything anymore. I'm better off without you.

I really need a boyfriend who can cook. No joke man.

- would you cook for me?

そばにいるよ

One more week, you'll be gone.

Bring your shades, the girls won't notice :x

Bring my heart along, cuz it might get sick missing you :)

Enjoy yourself this New Year ne.

- i could hear your heartbeat so clearly.

Another Pointless Post

Jia Xin: eh kamen oh my god guess what?

Me: Mmm

Jia Xin: Guess who I met laa

Me: Mmm

Jia Xin: I met Karmen!

Me: Mmm

Jia Xin: You know which one a not??

Me: Mmm

Jia Xin: Neh, the wai han Karmen... Neh, the gw's ex.

Me: Mmm

Jia Xin: Okay, u know which Karmen right? Bye bye. Wake up now.

Me: Mmm

Syok sendiri punya orang. I was half asleep when she called and she was so hyper. Crazy woman. Perhaps it's the pre-driving exam stress.

- till Christmas comes :)

A Little Pain

A Little Pain - Olivia

I remember blogging bout this song quite some time ago, Nana's ending theme song. Really good song.

I didn't know this song was so laku until when I was listening to it just now.

ĴØŇ -I miss the scent of your hair, the embrace of your hands on my face, - says:
i love that song

✭.....heart, kamen ❤ says:
really? u watch nana??

ĴØŇ -I miss the scent of your hair, the embrace of your hands on my face, - says:
haha yea

ĴØŇ -I miss the scent of your hair, the embrace of your hands on my face, - says:
duhhh'

Then, there's another person.

*`//¤»Chingy«¤- says:
eh eh send me

*`//¤»Chingy«¤- says:
trapnest

✭.....heart, kamen ❤ says:
YER ALL ONLINE WAN

*Trapnest was the name of the band in the manga. Ching was appearing offline.

Surprisingly, both of them messaged me on msn at the same time. Weird huh?

Sigh. Gonna have my driving classes tomorrow morning, has been delayed till now due to various tulan reasons which I do not want to bitch about right now. Let's hope I don't freak out in the middle of the road and let go of everything again :x

I'm so gonna sleep early tonight. I'm too tired. And it's not even 12 yet! Sigh. I'm so tired I can't even open my eyes.

- If you were a fly, I would love to be the frog... you said.

Bring Me Away

Yea, another small bit of lyrics that really fits me now.

带我走, 到遥远的以后

带走我, 一个人自转的寂寞

带我走, 就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

我不怕, 带我走.

Bring me away, to the far future

Bring away, the loneliness revolving around me

Bring me away, even though my love and your freedom will all become froth

I'm not afraid, bring me away.

Believe me, I can. As long as you let me to...

Do you know that?

.....really. I really want.

- so many things I want to know.

Surprise Pour Moi

Received an unexpected message today from someone unexpected.

It's a bit too late - really.

There are things we really can't change anymore.

你说你不是不在乎, 不是不想 You say it's not that you didn't miss, not that you didn't care

为什么要等到这时才说? Why must things be said now that it's too late?

心...都已不在了. The heart... isn't there anymore.

I'm happy the way I am now, at least I think I am.

I hope I will be. :)

Was having a chat with Jia Xin, my Libra darling about her Scorpio boy. wtf. Her boy acts just like me hahaha. And Jia Xin... sigh. Baka Librans :x

Why so alike?

It's so similar that it's scaring me. Freaky. It's like I'm having a relationship with Jia Xin. wth.


- like a scorpion trapped in a spider web, it'll just render the venom useless. It'll still be trapped :)

Somebody Stop Me

I've been buying heels again.

Damnit. I can't stop larrrr. I see pretty heels, I really can't stop myself. I was explaining to my dad about how I have a weak spot for heels:

"It's like drugs, it's like smoking. I don't see it then I'll be perfectly alright. But once I see it, I'll beh tahan and will try it on. Once I try it on, I'll beh tahan and will buy it. Then it's like I get my smoking break or something like that - the craving is gone."

"I think you have some sort of disorder."

-_______________-

That was my Dad's reply.

Finally found this! Black peep toes!

From Vincci

Another pair of heels from Nose.

Blame Ching. She was late, so I drifted off into Nose.

I could have controlled :D

Another 3 1/2 inch. Woohoo.

I was at the counter when I saw this. Apparently, it just arrived that morning itself ahahaha.

Another pair from Nose, it's heels weren't that high though.

Had my very first online shopping experience. Bought a Boyfriend Tee online due to my other weird fetish. Yea, you guessed it - SLEEVES!


To add to the steam, Striped sleeves. Love love.

Apparently, quite a few people thought I curled my hair permanently. To clear your doubts, no - I didn't. Here are pictures to prove it. Nah, it's just a lame excuse so that I can post vain pictures.

Oh oh, my fringe is slightly longerr!!

I look like I'm in my boyfriend's sleeves and is up to no good

-______________-

maybe cuz it's called a Boyfriend Tee?

haha lame pun.

Alright, a decent pic.

- if I were a boy, I think I could understand how it feels to love a girl.